Traveller Living in Toronto
Phil Leighfield and Chris Jones
In September 2000, I was teaching Economics 248 (Health Economics) and I noted a student wearing a rainbow choker. I spoke to him at the end of class one day, discovered he had been to Provincetown (and so had i one week before he was there). Then I looked at his information form and he had put down that he was gay.
Well, I was still struggling. I had a date in mind to move but whether i could pull it off was another matter. Anyway, Phil used to speak to me at the end of class most days and in November when I actually did move to Toronto, I came out fully to him. When he started ot look for a job, I tried to help him and one day he went to the TABE meeting as my guest to see if he could get an economics job.
On the night of his last University examination, Bob and I were in Waterloo and we took Phil for a coffee. That is how he first met Bob. That summer Bob and i dropped into Vagara where Phil was waiting tables and on more than one occassion, Phil chose to take a break and sit down and talk.
That summer, Bob went into the hospital and I used to come into the downtown core to visit regularly and often went to Vagara to eat and get some cheerful and helpful words of wisdom from Phil. He shared with me the fact that he was staying over night often at Chris' place and in late July Chris bought Phil the most wonderful ring.
I had yet to meet Chris but got my chance as the two of them came out to my place for lunch and a swim one day. Phil attended Bob's memorial in November (3rd) and he even spoke.
On Labour Day weekend in 2002 Alexnader and i moved into our apartment and Phil and Chris had a one-year party as common-law spouses. Both sets of parents were there and it was a most wonderful party.
Alexander and I went to other parties at Phil and Chris' and we saw them over wings at Zelda's and also saw them on occassion at Hair of the Dog. I must say that this is the most unusual relationship I have had with a former student. I see in Phil and Chris all the good things about gay life - the freedom to be themselves, for instance.
In October 2003, Phil wrote to me to tell me he and Chris were moving to New Zealand. He said he would have a party once he sold the house and knew when he would be moving.
Last week he infomred me the party was to be Nov. 29 and he was leaving Dec. 2 - Chris left early in October.
Tuesday of this past week, Phil phoned about 10 p.m. and suggested he needed a cocktail. I suggested we meet at Statler's and so Alexander, Phil, and I had drinks at Statler's until almost 1 a.m. (with me headed off to Waterloo before 6 a.m.).
Last night was the party. Mitesh and I went. We had a good time. We saw areas of the house which we had not seen before. We were the first there and the first to leave. It was a nice gorup by the time we left to come home.
Both Mitesh and I were not feeling energetic or well so we stopped an dhad a bite to eat on the way home and then we went our own ways.
The things that stand out in my mind is that I am going to miss Phil and Chris. I liked being with Mitesh - we had wonderful conversation over ou bite to eat. I was disappointed that we did not get to cuddle BUT we will get that opportunity some day soon again.
http://www.geocities.com/onedjbear/index.html
The Song
I was in swinging London in 1965-66 and while I was there this silly song became popular. Grant Craik helped me by giving me some expressions I could then look up. The fact is that I seem to recall some more verses but this is what I could find.
About the time this song became popular there was a cultural shift going on and I believe it was Time magazine did an article on the new IN places like Carnaby Street.
ENGLAND SWINGS by Roger Miller
England swings like a pendulum do
Bobbies on bicycles two by two
Westminster Abbey, the tower of Big Ben
The rosy red cheeks of the little children
Now, if you huff and puff and you finally save enough
Money up to take your family on a trip across the sea
Take a tip before you take your trip
Let me tell you where to go
Go to England, oh
England swings like a pendulum do
Bobbies on bicycles two by two
Westminster Abbey, the tower of Big Ben
The rosy red cheeks of the little children
Mama's old pajamas and your papa's mustache
Falling out the window sill, frolic in the grass,
Tryin' to mock the way they talk, fun but all in vain,
Gaping at the dapper men with derby hats and canes.
England swings like a pendulum do
Bobbies on bicycles two by two
Westminster Abbey, the tower of Big Ben
The rosy red cheeks of the little children
England swings like a pendulum do
Bobbies on bicycles two by two
Westminster Abbey, the tower of Big Ben
The rosy red cheeks of the little children
Big Event This Week
Something happened to me this week which has just overwhelmed me with feelings of nostalgia. When I lived in London, I lived at London House, near Russell Square (next square over was William Goodenough Square which is where London House was situated). It was a graduate student residence for Commonwealth and former Commonwealth male students. It was the classic design of a building with porters, gates, a large green area in the centre of the building. It is where I learned to play squash. It was a place where I made friends. My room mate went to Berkeley from LSE (he and I were not terribly close but we did make sure we had Saturday night dinner every week at a different cuisine - we found some really interesting restaurants that way). Two other people I became close to were Grant Craik (Northern Ireland), and Ross Williams (Australia). Ross had a period at the World Bank a few years later and managed to visit Toronto and Waterloo but I lost touch with Grant. The last I heard from him he was working at the Economist Intelligence Unit but every time I tried to find him electronically (25-30 years later, I could find no listings for him. Thursday night I received a WELCOME note from Grant. Grant and I had visited Cambridge for a weekend together and the last I saw him, we were in Amsterdam. We were staying in a youth hostel and Grant was taking off for an auto trip around Europe. We also went to Stratford-on Avon, saw a play and visited Oxford etc. together.
Grant and I have been catching up via emails the last two days. I was engaged to Lucille back in 1965-66 (Oh stupid me as she never let me forget that that year of our engagement I was off in England) when I lived in London House and even though I used to go swimming to satisfy my inclination to look at men, I had not been aware of my being gay, even though I really should have understood (Does anyone remember the song which became popular in 1966 about Carnaby Street and London - I have tried to find the lyrics for that song but seem stymied on that too - if only I could remember an exact line or two from it it would help - that song was as gay as could be and I loved it - I think it talked of swinging London town). Grant held back then even though he tells me now he knew about being gay then. I shared with some of you two pictures Grant sent taken that year of me (one at my desk) and the other of the two of us on a street somewhere. I wonder I have hundreds of slides taken that year if I have any of the people??? Someday I will get the slide projector out and have a look. Digital is so much easier.
During that same year, I travelled to Paris and spent 10 days in December (I had a peer from University undergraduate days who was studying at the Sorbonne). Then Tom and I got on the train (crowded to the point of people sitting on the floors, in the washrooms, etc.) for the 23 hour trip to Rome. We spent five days in Rome, then went to Naples, Pompeii, Capri, etc. for three nights and back for three more days in Rome before taking the train back to Paris and then back to London. I knew Tom was in Toronto now but no matter how hard I tried I could not locate him. Finally last week I made contact with someone who knew how to contact him so I will do that as I have time upcoming. It is overwhelming right now and too nostalgic to look any more.
Jesus as a Transvestite
This morning in Church, the most interesting topic arose from a feminist theologian. It talked of Jesus as a Tranvestite. I am sure that if Joanna Manning had understood transvestites as I understood the meaning, she would not have preached the way she did but when one uses her definition of transvestite, the topic makes a huge amount of sense.
Ms. Manning chose to define a transvestite as someone who broke down gender barriers and she would include drag queens as transvestities. That is how she got to the place where Jesus exhibited the characteristics of being a transvestite. Considering the Jewish place where Jesus lived, he was a gender bender in that he abbhored violence, he did things like weep, etc. That was quite contrary to the way in which maleness was defined in the "chosen nation" of the day.
The speaker indicated that Jesus was against the religious right of his day as well as the Imperial War Machine and that we ought to look like Jesus by also being against the religious right and the Imperial War Machine.
Finally, in permitting himself to be crucified, Jesus divested himself of male privilege as associated with the Jewish nation of the times.
The concept of Jesus as a transvestite was at first shocking but it certainly got atttention and when interpreted the way Joanna Manning interpreted the definitions, it sure fit. I am sure there are individuals who will find the concept anathema and will not understand the message which lies therein.
To quote the morning bulletin: "Joanna Manning is a writer and retired high school and university teacher. She works for justice for marginalized people at the local as well as international level. During the Pope's vivit to Toronto last year she helped organize a group called Challenge the Church to call the Catholic Church to account for its sexism, homophobia and the despicable treatment of victims of celrgy sexual abuse. Her most recent book 'Take Back the Truth' is an indictment of both the Protestant and Catholic right wing for their distortion of the true message of Jesus".
Joanna Manning can be found on the web to have written other books which might be worth exploring.
http://www.geocities.com/onedjbear/index.html
Fraternity
The Fraternity is a club for gay professional men which was started in Toronto in 1988. Last night was it's fifteenth anniversary and to celebrate they held a dinner dance at the Arts and Letters Club on Elm Street, just blocks from where I live. Normally, they have a dinner meeting with a speaker once a month and provide social events like ski trips, movie nights etc.
Mitesh and I had joined the group just a few weeks ago. Thus, the dinner/dance was our first function. Mitesh arrived at my place about 3/4 of an hour prior to time to walk over. I fixed him some coffee and after drinking it and talking briefly, we walked down to the Club, shed our coats, put on our name tags and bought drinks before finding a table.
The tables were set up for 10 people. The people at our end of the table were Rob ( a personal trainer and instructor at Humber College), Paul ( a very talkative and opinionated man whom I really found out little about except that he flies airplanes as a hobby), Devin (a beautiful blond wavy-haired guy with a wonderful underexaggerated smile who was extremely quiet but who is training to be a pilot) and Ron (a veyr inviting man who made people feel at ease). I was too far from the other men to learn much about them - I gather they were from France.
Dinner was fancy - black bean soup, apple salad, and a little piece of chicken with pea pods. Mitesh had ordered vegetarian and they came and told him someone else had taken his vegetarian meal and so they gave him more slald and a huge helping of peas and rice.
Desserts were served in another room as was coffee and finally they got around to dancing. Mitesh's face lit up when the music started. The first song was dancing queen and then a wonderful song which I had not heard before but seemed to fit the mood of the evening. I quoted it to Mitesh after he left in an email I sent him to tell him what a wonderful evening I had had and I am including it here as it represents so much of what I felt.
I believe in miracles
Where you from
You sexy thing
I believe in miracles
Since you came along
You sexy thing
Miracles right before my eyes
You sexy thing got me hypnotised
Don't stop what ya' doing
What ya' doing to me
My angel from above lying next to me
How did ya' know that I'd be the one
Been a long time coming only just begun
Doing all the things that makes my heart sing
Keep doing what you're doing you sexy thing
How did ya' know I needed you so badly
How did ya' know I gave my heart gladly
Yesterday I was one of a lonely people
Now you're lying next to me
Making love to me
I believe in miracles
Where you from
You sexy thing
You sexy thing
I believe in miracles
Since you came along
You sexy thing
Only yesterday I was on my own
Just another day later my mind was blown
You sexy thing come into my life
Forever and a day it feels so right
How did ya' know that I'd be the one
Been a long time coming only just begun
Doing all the things that makes my heart sing
Keep doing what you're doing you sexy thing
How did ya' know I needed you so badly
How did ya' know I gave my heart gladly
Yesterday I was one of a lonely people
Now you're lying next to me
Making love to me
I believe in miracles
Where you from
You sexy thing
You sexy thing
I believe in miracles
Since you came along
You sexy thing
Kiss me baby
You sexy thing
You sexy thing
Touch me baby
You sexy thing
You sexy thing
Kiss me baby
You sexy thing
You sexy thing
Touch me baby
You sexy thing
You sexy thing
Kiss me baby
You sexy thing
You sexy thing
Touch me baby
You sexy thing
You sexy thing
Kiss me baby
You sexy thing
You sexy thing
Touch me baby
You sexy thing
You sexy thing
You sexy thing
To see Mitesh's face light up, to watch his perfect movement, his musical sense - oh how wonderful! I sometimes wish I had been blessed with much more of an ear and appreciation and yes a talent for music. It seems to cleanse the soul.
At about 11:15 we had shed our sweaters, and were exhausted. We put our sweaters back on, our coats too and went out into the brisk air. I decided to show Mitesh the Barn but it was a little early for the barn to be in full swing.
We came back to the apartment and of course enjoyed each other" conversation and company for a while before Mitesh had to head back to Brampton. I miss him oh so much.
The Toronto Election
One of the most interesting elections of all-time was the race in Toronto for mayor this time. I voted at the advance poll and knew that my candidate was not going to win although many people thought he still could.
In many ways I am new to Toronto politics. I moved to the city just a few days before the 2000 election and did not have any ID which would have permitted me to vote in that election at the municipal level where you need a bill, license or other ID with your address on it. So, this was my first vote.
At the Church I attend, Barbara Hall a former mayor of Toronto was favoured by most. Indeed, there was much made of her attendance even at the 2002 Christmas Eve service and how we ought to vote for her. Even around the area where I live there was much made of her candidacy, including active campaigns at both
Statlers and
Wilde Oscar's.
Two candidtaes who at the start of the election campaign were basically unknown came from behond to stand first and second. David Miller won the election with most of his solid votes in the downtonw core. Since he advocated putting tolls on the highways (Don Valley and Gardner) coming into the downtown core, it is little wonder that he won most of his votes in that area and very few in the outlying areas of the city. John Tory was the candidate favoured in many of the amalgamated areas of the city and those are the people who would pay the added taxes through tolls on the two main routes to work or home again.
Although David Miller was on the city council, he was an unknown. I had never heard his name until three quarters of the way through the campaign. He was truly someone who came from way behind to win.
John Tory had never been in politics as a candidate although I knew his name from my days living in Waterloo. He had great influence in the Progressive Conservative ranks and had served a stint as President of Rogers empire. That unfortunately labelled him as a right winger but that was an untrue picture. Many of th ebiographies, if one were to read behind the election rhetoric indicated John Tory had been one to put time and effort into United Way, The Red Cross and other such enterprises. One biography said that he was tieless and had to have his heart in helping the poor or he "would not have drunk so much horrible early morning coffee over business breakfasts.
Is this an indication of a split in the interests of voters, with the suburban taxpayer being fleeced yet again by the left wing? Or was David Miller seen as someone who could finally bring the city together with the boroughs?
Niagara Falls
I was practically raised in Niagara Falls. My Grandmother McCready was as prescious a woman as I have ever had n my life. When I was ill at age four, she kept me at her place for well over a month while my parents and younger sister moved from Ottawa to the Windsor (Riverside) area. During that month, my first cousin, Barbara (Albertson) Huck was born. My Grandmother permitted me to rock my way across the living room floor in a rocking chair which is how I amused msyelf bundled up and sick as I was.
On November 8, I picked up Mitesh at his place and we drove over to Niagara Falls to the Niagara Inn
Niagara Inn arriving in the early afternoon. We went to our room, on th emain floor of the Inn. It was a beautiful day out and the Innkeeper was out raking leaves but we chose to spend the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other's company.
At dark, we got up from the bed and went out in search of a coffee, a bank machine and a Chinese Restaurant. The latter was not really very good but Niagara Falls is devoid of Chinese Restaurants.
The most interesting aspect of the evening was the total eclipse of the full moon. It started about the time we went out but by the time we finished dinner, most of the moon was obliterated. You could make out the outline of the moon but not see the light it reflects.
On our rounds we made a stop to pick up a small bottle of whiskey and some mix. The room was supplied with wine glasses. Thus we drank some whiskey when we got back to the room.
The bathroom in our room had an old claw foot bathtub and Mitesh and I sat down in a bath. Unfortunately it was not one of the huge bathtubs so we were crowded. Also, unfortunately, it took away some of the ardour we had been feeling but our evening did go one for quite some time.
On Sunday morning, we ate a huge and well-made breakfast with two couples, three people of whom were form Italy and one of whom only spoke Italian. They were quite an ejoyable group of people and David, our host was also quite a visitor. This former dancer on 8 cruise ships and all over the world (mostly New York and Los Angleles) was an extremely friendly host.
Unfortunately, we had exhausted ourselves with our own antics in the bedroom so we took off for home, driving down through Niagara-on-the-Lake and back to Brampton and Toronto.
