Traveller Living in Toronto
NATIONAL AIDS MEMORIAL GROVE
Today we were driven to the NATIONAL AIDS MEMORIAL GROVE [http://www.aidsmemorial.org/index.html] in Golden Gate Park.
The location is wonderful. One climbs down from the roadway into a valley-like area (the dell), surrounded by trees. At the end of the pathways, one finds the Circle of Friends which includes names of people affected by AIDS – those who have died, those who have been care-givers, those living with AIDS and those who have donated funding.
The setting is spectacular. However, compared to the Toronto AIDS memorial which has more names than the one in San Francisco, even though the US has lost far more people both in absolute and proportionate numbers, there is a lack of emotion in the National one located in San Francisco.
I have pondered why. First, I think it is significant that the National AIDS Memorial in San Francisco has no dates (at least on the Circle of Friends). In Toronto, the names are recorded on plaques by year in which the death occurred. Thus, one sees only a couple of names in the first years of the 1980s, crescending to 1994 and the slow decline in 1995, with a very rapid decline to 2003.
Second, in Toronto, people place flowers, cards, and pictures against the base of the stones holding the plaques, or sometimes attached to the plaques themselves – the memorial is truly a place to go to remember someone who was close.
Third, in Toronto, the names are of those who died. A donation of $25 is requested to have a name placed on the plaque but if a donation is not forthcoming, that does not stop the name from going up. In San Francisco, there is a large donation required and the names of those affected by AIDS (caregivers, partners, PWAs, and those who are deceased) are included.
I have accompanied people to the Toronto Memorial who were not from this city and would know not one person whose anme is there who are so moved they fall into silence and often tears. For me, with one friend whose name appears on the 2003 plaque, it is very moving but for Alexander who has found over a dozen names of people he knew, how moving that must be.
From the website, there is a statement:
official designation as the National AIDS Memorial Grove, a status comparable to that of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial, Mount Rushmore, and the USS Arizona at Pearl Harbor, proclaims to the world that there is now a dedicated space in the national public landscape where anyone who has been touched by AIDS can grieve openly without being stigmatized, can find comfort among others whose lives have been affected by AIDS and HIV, and can experience the feelings of renewal and hope inherent in nature.
The United States can be justly proud of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial and Mount Rushmore. They should try to bring this beautiful location up to a par with those national sites and make the Grove a location for pilgrimage, a place where people who visit come away with an appreciation for the devastation of a disease, worse than cancer and heart disease. Perhaps, if people saw and felt the devastation of AIDS and HIV, there might be more compassion, more understanding of the problems in Southern parts of Africa, more appreciation for the struggle individuals face as they consume the drugs which keep them alive.
Gay Marriage, Radical Faeries, and the first Day In San Francisco
Sunday was an extremely interesting day. Bill Hill picked us (Alexander and I) up at 10:30 and drove us up to the top of Twin Peaks so we could see the lay of San Francisco; where City Centre was including City Hall where all the marriages are being held.
We then drove down to City Hall and explored the activity there. It was fascinating to see the lineups of couples waiting to get married from conservative couples dressed as a solemn occasion to those dressed in interesting costumes, from couples with children or with sets of parents to those who were there, just the two of them. Horns honked. The mayor’s Gay and Lesbian liaison came out with a bullhorn and told us at noon that there was a limit to how many they could issue Sunday and indicated that it was all volunteers who were working for free to issue the licences. He told people who did not have a number to come back Monday.
The major topic of conversation has been the phenomenal number of couples who have gotten married in the last couple of days. As of Sunday it was over 1700 couples.
I feel it is wise for those organizing these things to show the couples with families, to play up the first couple married (they had been a committed couple for 51 years already). I do not understand at all where the protest that these are NOT families who are just as committed as heterosexual couples. It seems as if the Jerry Falwells and Popes of this world are committed to destroying what the remaining Christian gays believe (and I think a lot of them would like to believe in the Christian way). If the church can be so bigoted, when Christ himself was not, what good is the institutional church?
Well, from City Hall we went to a diner on 16th Street where we joined about 15 Radical Faeries. In the group and so special to meet was John Burnside. John was Harry Hayes’ partner for some 40 years. Harry made a name for himself for some of his thinking about differences between gay men and other men. He died about 18 months ago. Bill Hill offered us a video of Harry Hayes’ last birthday party (while Harry was already in the hospital) and his memorial. According to Bill, Harry had seen the video and toasts to his work and finally realized apparently what a contribution he had made.
Alexander wants to show it to James Dubro who is doing a documentary on gay history and who interviewed Harry years ago. The video then could be contributed to the Canadian gay archives.
Both of us had missed a great deal of sleep although not together so we napped Sunday afternoon, joined our fellow-guests for a drink, then went on to Castor for a bite to eat and some minor shopping before turning in for the night. A bit of jet lag still existed.
That was our Sunday – exciting, and full of discovery and learning.
HAPPY IN LIFE (TWO TOPICS REALTED TO LIFE) - GAY LIFE and ABORTION
I am not sure anyone will think me sane after I write what I have to write here. There is a portion of this which is copied to you. I see hope in that story - the little hand of life. I also see life in the other story - much more difficult to convey.
I just finished watching a movie loaned to me some time ago by Sid Beaudoin. Thanks Sid. Sid goes to Church with me and ironically we both grew up in Windsor area without knowing each other. The movie could be called Dorothy's Friends as it deals with Friends of Dorothy and that title appeared in the credits only it was difficult to tell whether it was a title of a song or the movie itself. However, it is called Common Ground which has People like Jason Priestly, Beau Bridges, Jonathon Taylor Thomas, and Ed Asner as stars.
I wish that all Churches would show this movie. It deals with Homer Connecticut, around the memorial square from the 1950s when people were run out of town for being even suspected of homosexuality through beatings to a same-sex marriage. It deals with the Levitical statement about it being an abomination to lie with another .. being no different than it being an abomination to eat pork. It deals with protest and changing attitudes. I think most of us would learn from such a movie.
Last night after much frustration at not being able to get it going, I started to watch it while Alexander was over at Statler's. He came home early without Sam (unexpected) and so I finished watching it this morning. In parts of it, particularly the feelings of Ed Asner (as an old Army guy and father of the bride/groom) and his son - I shed tears. It is beautifully made, scenic, and fits into what I consider to be the excellence of Hollywood material, unlike most the trailers I see in movie theatres.
On Saturday night, Mitesh and I saw Butterfly Effect. It is a movie with unusual plot and with flashbacks to the same scene being played in different ways, I think it is a very good movie with some wonderful characters in it. After seeing that movie, we went to Barbur to eat Indian food. I love Tanduri and I am getting used to how to order. I am going to become more venturesome with Indian food I think.
Another movie which I HIGHLY recommend is Big Fish. Alexander and I saw it several weeks ago, thinking it was at a theatre where we could use a pass Alexander had won. Unfortunately it was not but we were both moved beyond words by the movie. In that movie, I saw my father and myself so clearly - for Dad liked to tell stories, not as grandiose as in Big Fish but let us say the same stories came up and usually there was some embellishment. Like the son in the movie I tuned them out as having heard them before - but I learned a lesson in that movie. I am so glad I saw it, even without the free admission, popcorn and drinks.
I received the following in this morning's mail. It has the same effect on me which attending a Men's Club back in the 1970s at St. James Rosemount Church had on me. They had a doctor who had fetus' in different stages of development with him (ones who had died). The development of human life is such a miracle. It is clear that even within days of conception, while the baby may not survive out of the womb, there is life there.
I took a course once in which there were lectures about the experiences we have in the womb and how that affects us for our whole life. Sirens during war can lead to fears of noises in later life - that sort of thing. Clearly, if the baby can be influenced by food, drink, activities, etc. within the womb, that life is precious and needs to be preserved.
I trust you do not mind me talking about life - LIFE is good and is getting better, as evidenced by Common Ground. I attach the mailing below.
********************
" A picture began circulating in November. It should be "The Picture of the Year," or perhaps, "Picture of the Decade." It won't be. In fact, unless you obtained a copy of the US paper which published it, you probably will never see it.The picture is that of a 21-week-old unborn baby named Samuel Alexander Armas, who is being operated on by a surgeon named Joseph Bruner.
The baby was diagnosed with spina bifida and would not survive if removed from his mother's womb. Little Samuel's mother, Julie Armas, is an obstetrics nurse in Atlanta. She knew of Dr. Bruner's remarkable surgical procedure. Practicing at Vanderbilt University Medical Center in Nashville, he performs these special operations while the baby is still in the
womb. During the procedure, the doctor removes the uterus via C-section and makes a small incision to operate on the baby.
As Dr. Bruner completed the surgery on little Samuel, the little guy reached his tiny, but fully developed, hand through the incision and firmly grasped the surgeon's finger. In a Time Europe article highlighting new pregnancy imagery that show the formation of major organs and other significant evidence of the formation of human life but a few days after conception, Dr. Bruner was reported as saying that when his finger was grasped, it was the most emotional moment of his life, and that for an instant during the procedure he was just frozen, totally immobile. The photograph captures this amazing event with perfect clarity. The editors titled the picture, "Hand of Hope."
The text explaining the picture begins, "The tiny hand of 21-week-old fetus Samuel Alexander Armas emerges from the mother's uterus to grasp the finger of Dr. Joseph Bruner as if thanking the doctor for the gift of life." Little Samuel's mother said they "wept for days" when they saw the picture. She said, "The photo reminds us my pregnancy isn't about disability or an illness, it's about a little person." Samuel was born in perfect health, the operation 100 per cent
successful. Now see the actual picture, and it is awesome...incredible.
