Traveller Living in Toronto
Friday, December 28, 2007
Ken Julius Torrecer
I am writing this in honour and memory of Ken, born Dec. 22, 2007 and died Dec. 27, 2007. Ken was born premature in Puerto Princesa to Ernesto and Joy and he fought a valiant battle for life but lost. May he be at peace and look down on his parents and extended family with love.
The internment was Saturday Dec. 29, 2007 at 9 a.m. which given the vagaries of time differences has already passed where blogspot is hosted.
Prayers go out to all the family at this time. May they know God is in charge.
I am writing this in honour and memory of Ken, born Dec. 22, 2007 and died Dec. 27, 2007. Ken was born premature in Puerto Princesa to Ernesto and Joy and he fought a valiant battle for life but lost. May he be at peace and look down on his parents and extended family with love.
The internment was Saturday Dec. 29, 2007 at 9 a.m. which given the vagaries of time differences has already passed where blogspot is hosted.
Prayers go out to all the family at this time. May they know God is in charge.
Rock Haven
This is a beautiful movie with Sean Hoagland and Owen Alabado, two young men in a small coastal town who fall in love.Brady, the character played by Hoagland, is highly religious and tries running from his feelings for Clifford (Alabado) throughout the movie. Yet, the pastor, played by David Lewis, the writer as well quotes John 3:17 "God did not send His son to condemn the world ..." to Brady which makes Brady decide not to go to an ex-gay camp. The movie deals with Brady coming out to his mother, his mother having difficulty with Brady's homosexuality but saying "you will always be my son" but also admitting that she can not change the way she thinks.
The scenery, both nature and human is absolutely spectactular. The message is one worth pursuing. It would be an excellent movie at 72 minutes to show to a gay and lesbian group - a gay-straight alliance or at a church group dealing with sexuality. It would be my hope that it will reach beyond gays to those who often condemn gays.
This is a beautiful movie with Sean Hoagland and Owen Alabado, two young men in a small coastal town who fall in love.Brady, the character played by Hoagland, is highly religious and tries running from his feelings for Clifford (Alabado) throughout the movie. Yet, the pastor, played by David Lewis, the writer as well quotes John 3:17 "God did not send His son to condemn the world ..." to Brady which makes Brady decide not to go to an ex-gay camp. The movie deals with Brady coming out to his mother, his mother having difficulty with Brady's homosexuality but saying "you will always be my son" but also admitting that she can not change the way she thinks.
The scenery, both nature and human is absolutely spectactular. The message is one worth pursuing. It would be an excellent movie at 72 minutes to show to a gay and lesbian group - a gay-straight alliance or at a church group dealing with sexuality. It would be my hope that it will reach beyond gays to those who often condemn gays.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
A happy Christmas Day in Toronto
I will start with Christmas Day in 2006. My sister, Mary Lynn and I had been inviting each other to our places since I left my marriage in 2000. In 2006, she announced that she would be in Edmonton for Christmas, instead of celebrating here in Toronto area. I decided since I was going to be alone and wanted a turkey and all, I would invite some friends who would not have others to celebrate with over. I invited four people, one of whom was invited elsewhere so there were four of who sat down to the meal - I cooked everything and enjoyed it.
This year, with my sister deciding to hold Christmas dinner in her birthday December 23, I hesitated about what to do. This year, I felt I wanted to do it again but felt daunted at the thought. I am President of the Toronto Long Yang Club (Asian gays and their admirers). I had not made up my mind when I attended our Christmas pot luck a couple of weeks ago but I was talking to one of the young Asians whom is not long in Canada and asked him what he was doing for Christmas and he said he was not doing anything and so I told him I was thinking of having dinner here. Another fellow (African background) was standing there and said "I will bring the turkey" so I said, it is a deal. I then talked to two other Asians and asked them and they said they would come.
I then invited the people who were here last year and it expanded until I had invited 11 of whom 10 were able to come. Two left after dinner and two more came after dinner (partners separated by distance who wanted to have dinner together) so 10 left late evening. Mainland China (2), Indonesia, Malaysia, India, Pakistan, USA, Philippines, and of course Canada were the birth places of those present and the turkey-provider - I do not know what country he was born in (his parents were diplomats so he lived all over).
It makes for a very different Christmas from when my three sons were growing up and it wqs a nuclear family but it makes an excellent one. I don't think we know how many people do not have people at Christmas to connect with.
Laughter and fun were had by all and one person brought a mango salad, dessert was provided by another and that kept my job down to vegies, jello, buns (and there are some I would not have minded touching either) and drink. I must say, it really made my Christmas special.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
This was copied from gay365.com and is not intended to be a violation of copyright.
Calendar Boys
by John Corvino
Whenever I go into bookstores this time of year, I pick up the new calendars of hot shirtless men and peruse them openly.
Most of them are tacky, but I don’t pick them up for pleasure. I pick them up to remind myself and others that I can.
As a teenager, I would gaze at such calendars surreptitiously, often concealing them behind more “appropriate” calendars of Caribbean sunsets, puppies dressed like acrobats, or whatever. I found the male images alluring, but I was deeply ashamed of that fact. So I hid my interest as best as I could, terrified that those around me might catch on.
It took me years to acknowledge my gayness and longer still to reveal it to others without trembling. Even now, I feel a slight rush of nervousness as I peruse the calendars. Who’s watching me? What are they thinking? Do I detect disgust in their faces?
I tell myself I don’t care what they think, but that’s only partly true.
I’m certain that there’s nothing wrong with my enjoying male beauty, and if my fellow shoppers think otherwise, then they’re just mistaken. But we’re social creatures, after all. It’s natural that we care what others think, and foolish—even counterproductive—to insist otherwise. Although receiving others’ approval is less important than simply meriting it, it’s nicest when both coincide.
Not long ago a reader wrote and asked, “Who cares about approval from fools? All I need is approval from myself, my friends, my family and my colleagues.”
Okay, fine. But what happens when some of our friends, family, or colleagues turn out to be fools? Worse yet, what happens when the “fools” have kids, some of whom are secretly eyeing the “wrong” calendars in the bookstore? Is it really so easy not to care what they think?
I am not suggesting that we compromise our values in order to appease homophobes. If I thought we should do that, I wouldn’t make a point of picking up “hot guy” calendars. But as long as we have to share a planet with these “fools,” we should hope for, and work towards, their conversion.
America is a much better place for gays now than when I was a frightened teenager sneaking peeks at Kirk Cameron. Indeed, it’s a much better place than it was just a few years ago. I’m grateful for that progress, and the holidays are a perfect time for all of us to reflect on it.
At the same time, we have to remind ourselves not to become complacent.
There are still teenagers kicked out of the house for being gay—not to mention teenagers kept at home and berated by their parents for their “sinful” urges. Some will be sent to camps in damaging attempts to “cure” them. As you reflect on our progress, please remember these teenagers.
There are adults who will return home to their families nervously this holiday season. Some fear being grilled about their “lifestyles.” Others will suffer the dehumanizing ritual of silence among relatives who assiduously avoid the issue. The understood rule that some subjects are just too awkward, or too awful, to discuss, and so their longing for human connection becomes literally unspeakable. As you reflect on our progress, please remember these adults.
Remember those gay and lesbian folks who agonize about whether to bring their partners to the company holiday party and who make up elaborate stories to mask their lives. Remember those transgender folks who struggle not to wince when asked to bring a “male-specific” or “female-specific” present to the office gift exchange. And remember those GLBT folks in other parts of the world who wish they had such problems: their main concern is not getting jailed or killed.
And if you happen to pass through a bookstore, remember those who continue to sneak peeks at the “wrong” calendars. Some of them are youth just beginning to understand their longings. Others are heterosexually married adults who have become skilled at suppressing their deeper selves. All of them are letting fear get in the way of joy.
If you can, take a moment to pick up a “wrong” calendar yourself, deliberately and cheerfully, just to show them how it’s done.
Wherever you are, whatever you do: resolve to make the world better in 2008.
Calendar Boys
by John Corvino
Whenever I go into bookstores this time of year, I pick up the new calendars of hot shirtless men and peruse them openly.
Most of them are tacky, but I don’t pick them up for pleasure. I pick them up to remind myself and others that I can.
As a teenager, I would gaze at such calendars surreptitiously, often concealing them behind more “appropriate” calendars of Caribbean sunsets, puppies dressed like acrobats, or whatever. I found the male images alluring, but I was deeply ashamed of that fact. So I hid my interest as best as I could, terrified that those around me might catch on.
It took me years to acknowledge my gayness and longer still to reveal it to others without trembling. Even now, I feel a slight rush of nervousness as I peruse the calendars. Who’s watching me? What are they thinking? Do I detect disgust in their faces?
I tell myself I don’t care what they think, but that’s only partly true.
I’m certain that there’s nothing wrong with my enjoying male beauty, and if my fellow shoppers think otherwise, then they’re just mistaken. But we’re social creatures, after all. It’s natural that we care what others think, and foolish—even counterproductive—to insist otherwise. Although receiving others’ approval is less important than simply meriting it, it’s nicest when both coincide.
Not long ago a reader wrote and asked, “Who cares about approval from fools? All I need is approval from myself, my friends, my family and my colleagues.”
Okay, fine. But what happens when some of our friends, family, or colleagues turn out to be fools? Worse yet, what happens when the “fools” have kids, some of whom are secretly eyeing the “wrong” calendars in the bookstore? Is it really so easy not to care what they think?
I am not suggesting that we compromise our values in order to appease homophobes. If I thought we should do that, I wouldn’t make a point of picking up “hot guy” calendars. But as long as we have to share a planet with these “fools,” we should hope for, and work towards, their conversion.
America is a much better place for gays now than when I was a frightened teenager sneaking peeks at Kirk Cameron. Indeed, it’s a much better place than it was just a few years ago. I’m grateful for that progress, and the holidays are a perfect time for all of us to reflect on it.
At the same time, we have to remind ourselves not to become complacent.
There are still teenagers kicked out of the house for being gay—not to mention teenagers kept at home and berated by their parents for their “sinful” urges. Some will be sent to camps in damaging attempts to “cure” them. As you reflect on our progress, please remember these teenagers.
There are adults who will return home to their families nervously this holiday season. Some fear being grilled about their “lifestyles.” Others will suffer the dehumanizing ritual of silence among relatives who assiduously avoid the issue. The understood rule that some subjects are just too awkward, or too awful, to discuss, and so their longing for human connection becomes literally unspeakable. As you reflect on our progress, please remember these adults.
Remember those gay and lesbian folks who agonize about whether to bring their partners to the company holiday party and who make up elaborate stories to mask their lives. Remember those transgender folks who struggle not to wince when asked to bring a “male-specific” or “female-specific” present to the office gift exchange. And remember those GLBT folks in other parts of the world who wish they had such problems: their main concern is not getting jailed or killed.
And if you happen to pass through a bookstore, remember those who continue to sneak peeks at the “wrong” calendars. Some of them are youth just beginning to understand their longings. Others are heterosexually married adults who have become skilled at suppressing their deeper selves. All of them are letting fear get in the way of joy.
If you can, take a moment to pick up a “wrong” calendar yourself, deliberately and cheerfully, just to show them how it’s done.
Wherever you are, whatever you do: resolve to make the world better in 2008.
Monday, December 24, 2007
Visit to Grand Rapids MI
On Friday Dec. 14, I arose early and started on my way to Grand Rapids MI. I had worried Thursday afternoon about the poor weather (particularly around Buffalo). The roads were fine.
It took me just over 6 hours to make the drive. I stopped for breakfast at Bob Evans in Port Huron. I had forgotten to bring any of the favourite CDs so had talk radio on most the way.
I checked into Americinn, Greenville. I then phoned both Trevor and Allison\s cell phones and hooked up my laptop to let people know I had arrived safely.
Soon the telephone rang asking me to come to the house. I drove right there and enjoyed a beautiful afternoon until after dinner. The house is lovely with furnishings in it and with Joshua's room finished. I admired the fact I had helped with the painting before the carpet and the furnishings went in.
I agreed to return the next morning at about 9:00 to 10:00 with some salad ingredients. I got there just after 10 after a wonderful breakfast and a chat on-line with Arnold plus of course some shopping. I had to get gas at Meijer Stores and did the grocery shopping at Walmart.
On Saturday, I spent the day with the family. Samantha actually sat in my lap some although she is still very shy about me. She stares and stares at me most the time when I speak to her. She was amazed in the afternoon as we played board games that I could deliver her cereal to nibble on just as much as Daddy could.
We went to Halfway Restaurant without incident. The wind was coming up and it was supposed to start snowing but it held off. Right after dinner, I headed back to the Americinn and they went home to put the little ones to bed. Church, which we had planned to go to in the evening was cancelled because of major winter storm warning.
Sunday morning, I made the decision to stay an extra night. When I looked out the window at my car I could see that the snow had drifted. Sid, Alexander, Arthur and Ernie had warned me not to come home.
Arnold and I had another wonderful chat. I expected to have breakfast with Trevor, Allison, and the kids. However, after chatting with Arnold - again, a wonderful chat, I went down and had a small snack to tide me over. The breakfasts at that Americinn are very good.
The road out to Trevor's was terrible. Had I been driving home, which had been my intention, it would probably have taken 24 hours at the rate I managed out to Trevor's.
He was out shovelling. I took a few hands at the shovel - first time in 8 winters. The wind was whipping things around.
We played Trivia Pursuit while Joshua and Claire were in basement watching Christmas programs on TV - later, I watched some with them. Cute children's programs.
After lunch, Trevor ventured out to shovel again. I did a bit more this time and we took pictures of the kids in the snow and of me shovelling (to share with Arnold) and such before I headed back to the motel for a lengthy nap. Trevor had taken the red eye back from San Francisco on Wednesday night so he was showing signs that he needed to rest and sleep.
We met at a Mexican Restaurant for dinner. Yes, Grandpa decided he ought to treat them to a second meal as he had not anticipated staying. Grandpa also handed over birthday and Christmas presents.
Joshua started immediately eating the salsa and chips too quickly and threw up as we were ordering our food.
We ordered and Allison kept telling Joshua to slow down in his eating. However, near the end of his meal, he threw up - this time a much bigger mess. We left the restaurant hurriedly and stopped back at the motel where we said good-byes in front of the lobby fire. That Greenville Americinn has a really nice lobby. I took some pictures and got them to take some of me with the grandchildren. They then said goodnight. I note Trevor is using one of the pictures I took of the whole family on his web site.
The drive home on Monday was mostly on dry roads. The snow and roads were worst around Flint, Sarnia, and Burlington. Just east of Sarnia, I saw cars and an 18-wheeler being pulled from the ditches. Obviously left overs from the previous day. I stopped at a drug store in morning. I stopped for lunch and gas (again at Bob Evans) in Port Huron. I stopped at Duty Free and finally made it home 7 hours after leaving Greenville.
The visits with Mark's family and Trevor's family made my Christmas.
DJ
On Friday Dec. 14, I arose early and started on my way to Grand Rapids MI. I had worried Thursday afternoon about the poor weather (particularly around Buffalo). The roads were fine.
It took me just over 6 hours to make the drive. I stopped for breakfast at Bob Evans in Port Huron. I had forgotten to bring any of the favourite CDs so had talk radio on most the way.
I checked into Americinn, Greenville. I then phoned both Trevor and Allison\s cell phones and hooked up my laptop to let people know I had arrived safely.
Soon the telephone rang asking me to come to the house. I drove right there and enjoyed a beautiful afternoon until after dinner. The house is lovely with furnishings in it and with Joshua's room finished. I admired the fact I had helped with the painting before the carpet and the furnishings went in.
I agreed to return the next morning at about 9:00 to 10:00 with some salad ingredients. I got there just after 10 after a wonderful breakfast and a chat on-line with Arnold plus of course some shopping. I had to get gas at Meijer Stores and did the grocery shopping at Walmart.
On Saturday, I spent the day with the family. Samantha actually sat in my lap some although she is still very shy about me. She stares and stares at me most the time when I speak to her. She was amazed in the afternoon as we played board games that I could deliver her cereal to nibble on just as much as Daddy could.
We went to Halfway Restaurant without incident. The wind was coming up and it was supposed to start snowing but it held off. Right after dinner, I headed back to the Americinn and they went home to put the little ones to bed. Church, which we had planned to go to in the evening was cancelled because of major winter storm warning.
Sunday morning, I made the decision to stay an extra night. When I looked out the window at my car I could see that the snow had drifted. Sid, Alexander, Arthur and Ernie had warned me not to come home.
Arnold and I had another wonderful chat. I expected to have breakfast with Trevor, Allison, and the kids. However, after chatting with Arnold - again, a wonderful chat, I went down and had a small snack to tide me over. The breakfasts at that Americinn are very good.
The road out to Trevor's was terrible. Had I been driving home, which had been my intention, it would probably have taken 24 hours at the rate I managed out to Trevor's.
He was out shovelling. I took a few hands at the shovel - first time in 8 winters. The wind was whipping things around.
We played Trivia Pursuit while Joshua and Claire were in basement watching Christmas programs on TV - later, I watched some with them. Cute children's programs.
After lunch, Trevor ventured out to shovel again. I did a bit more this time and we took pictures of the kids in the snow and of me shovelling (to share with Arnold) and such before I headed back to the motel for a lengthy nap. Trevor had taken the red eye back from San Francisco on Wednesday night so he was showing signs that he needed to rest and sleep.
We met at a Mexican Restaurant for dinner. Yes, Grandpa decided he ought to treat them to a second meal as he had not anticipated staying. Grandpa also handed over birthday and Christmas presents.
Joshua started immediately eating the salsa and chips too quickly and threw up as we were ordering our food.
We ordered and Allison kept telling Joshua to slow down in his eating. However, near the end of his meal, he threw up - this time a much bigger mess. We left the restaurant hurriedly and stopped back at the motel where we said good-byes in front of the lobby fire. That Greenville Americinn has a really nice lobby. I took some pictures and got them to take some of me with the grandchildren. They then said goodnight. I note Trevor is using one of the pictures I took of the whole family on his web site.
The drive home on Monday was mostly on dry roads. The snow and roads were worst around Flint, Sarnia, and Burlington. Just east of Sarnia, I saw cars and an 18-wheeler being pulled from the ditches. Obviously left overs from the previous day. I stopped at a drug store in morning. I stopped for lunch and gas (again at Bob Evans) in Port Huron. I stopped at Duty Free and finally made it home 7 hours after leaving Greenville.
The visits with Mark's family and Trevor's family made my Christmas.
DJ
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Biographical:
I was born, D. J. on July 20, 1943 in Civic Hospital in Ottawa. My parents had been born and raised in Niagara Falls Ontario but had gone to the University of Toronto. They had married on July 6, 1940 and moved to Blind River, moving to Ottawa because of the Second World War.
Shortly after I was born, they moved to a house they bought there and they also bought a cottage on the Rideau River which I remember better than the house in town.
I had a sense of where things were very early. We moved from Ottawa to Riverside (Windsor area) in the fall of 1947 but since we stayed in Niagara Falls while we were waiting to get into a house in Windsor, I got sick and stayed in Niagara until Christmas when my grandmother took me to Windsor.
I attended Edith Cavell School (after a private pre-school) for Grades 1 to 4. In Grade 5 we switched to a new school Princess Elizabeth. In Grade 6, I was accelerated (taking six months of Grade 6 and 3 months of Grade 7 before going on to Grade 8).
During this time, I was active in Sunday School and Cubs. I loved to ride my bicycle around the neighbourhood and play at judging houses for their architecture, their horticulture, etc.
I grew early and in Grade 8, I was bigger than most of the other students. I was able to win first prize in the 100 yard dash for Grade 8 and I was involved in a box car derby held by the scouting association of Windsor. My father was on the district scouting council and so he sometimes had to speak at Father and Son Banquets and so I would go with him.
I will backtrack here. My mother gave birth to Diane Elizabeth December 23, 2945 and that is one of the first memories I have - of looking out our landing window in Ottawa and seeing Civic Hospital and knowing that was where my mother was (for two weeks). After we moved to Riverside, she gave birth to Mark Lynn December 23, 2954. By then I was 11 going on 12 and in the year I was accelerated at school. When Mary Lynn was a baby I was at home int he mornings because of school crowding so I got to be part of the bath and help routine with Mary Lynn.
In 1956, we moved to Amherstburg which is 20 miles outside Windsor. We had a waterfront home there and I switched to General Amherst High School at Christmas (Grade 9). I had 2 miles to walk along the waterfront to get to school or I could take the school bus (long way). Most often I walked.
In Amherstburg, I taught Sunday School and helped with the Cub Scout pack from that first winter. I also got involved in Young Peoples at Wesley United Church and later on became the young person on the Official Board of the Church and was appointed to the Building Committee which built the new United Church of Canada church in Amherstburg. I preached at the first anniversary a year later but in the old church, I had preached two Easter sunrise services in two different years. I also became VP of the Presbytery Young People's Association for two years.
I should mention that Ron Waddington and I (Ron was the brother I never had - so close we cut out other friends when we were in elementary school) had started a school newspaper using gestetner masters at Princess Elizabeth School. In Young Peoples I edited the Presbytery magazine which I put together, including getting covers made and all.
In 1960 and 1961 (I think) I had my first real summer job. It was as a chip stand manager in the Qu'Appelle Valley in Saskatchewan. I had worked a couple of summers cutting the next door neighbours lawn (1/2 acre), and I had done shifts as a carry-out boy at Dominion Grocery Store in Amherstburg.
I started University in 1961 at the age of 18, having graduated from high school (Grade 13) when I was 17. I started in Honours History but switched to Honours Economics and Political Science because I preferred modern history to ancient.
In 1965, I graduated with a 4 year honours degree and worked that summer in Ottawa at Statistics Canada. Then that fall I took the boat from Montreal to Liverpool and the boat train to London where I enrolled in my M. Sc (Econ) at London School of Economics and Political Science. My specialty there was Public Finance.
Before I left Windsor I became engaged to Lucille who had one year to finish University. I had known her since I moved to Amherstburg in 1956 and we had taught Sunday School as team teachers, and she had been in my car pool to go to University in Windsor.
We married Sept. 3, 1966 and moved immediately to Edmonton where I enrolled in my doctoral program (economics, with one quarter of my program in Political Science). In 1968 we adopted Bryan Douglas -born October 4 and came to live with us December 4.
In 1969, on my birthday the moon landing occurred. It was also the last day we were in Edmonton as the movers arrived the next day and we left for Kitchener-Waterloo where I became an Assistant Professor at Waterloo Lutheran University (later in 1973 it became Wilfrid Laurier University). I got tenure in 1973 (and finished my doctoral defence and was awarded my degree in 1973). I was promoted to Full Professor in 1986.
I have been on a number of academic committees, District Health Council and such since 1969. (I will send you my CV).
In 1971, on April 10, Mark Edward was born. He was 10 pounds. Then in 1974 on November 21, Trevor Scott was born.
Quickly moving forward, in 1990 I started doing on-line teaching (mentoring doctoral students) for Walden University. I resigned in 1998 and started doing the same kind of work for Capella University in 2001.
In 1994 Mark and Trevor moved out but in March 1995, Lucille became violent towards me. The next five years were the toughest of my life. Eunice (Lucille's sister), Aunt Hazel (Lucille's Aunt who gave us our wedding reception), both my father (Sept. 30, 1997) and my mother (Dec. 26 1998) all died. I became depressed but also determined to move out since I would get so I shook when I was to go home to Lucille. She cut me off from any friends I had as well.
My father was Grant Roland (an only child) born October 11, 1911 and he was a lawyer. My mother was Margaret Ann Jackson born June 24, 1913. She had type A certificates to teach in English, French and Physical Education. After I started University, she went back to teaching but stuck to English, becoming the Head of the English Department at General Amherst High School. My mother had one sister - Elizabeth (Albertson/Grey) who is now 87 and suffering from Alzheimer's Disease. I last visited her in 2002.
In 1997-98, Lucille and I lived in St. Louis Missouri where I spent my sabbatical at Washington University. Also, in 1997 Trevor married Allison in Iowa.
In February 2000, Mark married Wendy in Michigan.
Trevor and Allison became parents to Joshua (February 2, 2003), Claire (Sept. 11, 2004) and Samantha (February 21, 2007). Mark and Wendy became parents to Anna (Sept. 11, 2005).
On November 2, 2000, after quite a bit of preparation (arranging for call display at work, arranging to use a different office for a couple of months, phoning police and talking with campus security) I moved to Toronto, leaving my marriage of 34 years.
Within a month I was in a relationship with Bob Long. We had separate living accommodation and he recognized my need for a year after moving out before starting new living arrangements. He taught me I could be open and honest. However, on July 1, 2001 he had to go to the hospital for some blood work - he was there about 10 days and was diagnosed with cancer. He went back into the hospital early in August and died August 16. I am so glad I knew Bob.
Later in 2001, Ron Waddington, mentioned above, and I spent a lot of time together. It was like we were back in our childhood. We swam almost daily, travelled together, etc. Ron had lost his partner George to stroke in the summer and I had lost Bob. Ron went into hospital because of depression in March 2002 and they diagnosed that his HIV had acted up again - he died in January 2003.
On April 2, 2004, I met Arnold T. in Manila. That was the first time but it was "magical". In 2005, I was back in Pasay City from January 1 to March 7 living with Arnold and we started to work to get Arnold into Canada.
I was born, D. J. on July 20, 1943 in Civic Hospital in Ottawa. My parents had been born and raised in Niagara Falls Ontario but had gone to the University of Toronto. They had married on July 6, 1940 and moved to Blind River, moving to Ottawa because of the Second World War.
Shortly after I was born, they moved to a house they bought there and they also bought a cottage on the Rideau River which I remember better than the house in town.
I had a sense of where things were very early. We moved from Ottawa to Riverside (Windsor area) in the fall of 1947 but since we stayed in Niagara Falls while we were waiting to get into a house in Windsor, I got sick and stayed in Niagara until Christmas when my grandmother took me to Windsor.
I attended Edith Cavell School (after a private pre-school) for Grades 1 to 4. In Grade 5 we switched to a new school Princess Elizabeth. In Grade 6, I was accelerated (taking six months of Grade 6 and 3 months of Grade 7 before going on to Grade 8).
During this time, I was active in Sunday School and Cubs. I loved to ride my bicycle around the neighbourhood and play at judging houses for their architecture, their horticulture, etc.
I grew early and in Grade 8, I was bigger than most of the other students. I was able to win first prize in the 100 yard dash for Grade 8 and I was involved in a box car derby held by the scouting association of Windsor. My father was on the district scouting council and so he sometimes had to speak at Father and Son Banquets and so I would go with him.
I will backtrack here. My mother gave birth to Diane Elizabeth December 23, 2945 and that is one of the first memories I have - of looking out our landing window in Ottawa and seeing Civic Hospital and knowing that was where my mother was (for two weeks). After we moved to Riverside, she gave birth to Mark Lynn December 23, 2954. By then I was 11 going on 12 and in the year I was accelerated at school. When Mary Lynn was a baby I was at home int he mornings because of school crowding so I got to be part of the bath and help routine with Mary Lynn.
In 1956, we moved to Amherstburg which is 20 miles outside Windsor. We had a waterfront home there and I switched to General Amherst High School at Christmas (Grade 9). I had 2 miles to walk along the waterfront to get to school or I could take the school bus (long way). Most often I walked.
In Amherstburg, I taught Sunday School and helped with the Cub Scout pack from that first winter. I also got involved in Young Peoples at Wesley United Church and later on became the young person on the Official Board of the Church and was appointed to the Building Committee which built the new United Church of Canada church in Amherstburg. I preached at the first anniversary a year later but in the old church, I had preached two Easter sunrise services in two different years. I also became VP of the Presbytery Young People's Association for two years.
I should mention that Ron Waddington and I (Ron was the brother I never had - so close we cut out other friends when we were in elementary school) had started a school newspaper using gestetner masters at Princess Elizabeth School. In Young Peoples I edited the Presbytery magazine which I put together, including getting covers made and all.
In 1960 and 1961 (I think) I had my first real summer job. It was as a chip stand manager in the Qu'Appelle Valley in Saskatchewan. I had worked a couple of summers cutting the next door neighbours lawn (1/2 acre), and I had done shifts as a carry-out boy at Dominion Grocery Store in Amherstburg.
I started University in 1961 at the age of 18, having graduated from high school (Grade 13) when I was 17. I started in Honours History but switched to Honours Economics and Political Science because I preferred modern history to ancient.
In 1965, I graduated with a 4 year honours degree and worked that summer in Ottawa at Statistics Canada. Then that fall I took the boat from Montreal to Liverpool and the boat train to London where I enrolled in my M. Sc (Econ) at London School of Economics and Political Science. My specialty there was Public Finance.
Before I left Windsor I became engaged to Lucille who had one year to finish University. I had known her since I moved to Amherstburg in 1956 and we had taught Sunday School as team teachers, and she had been in my car pool to go to University in Windsor.
We married Sept. 3, 1966 and moved immediately to Edmonton where I enrolled in my doctoral program (economics, with one quarter of my program in Political Science). In 1968 we adopted Bryan Douglas -born October 4 and came to live with us December 4.
In 1969, on my birthday the moon landing occurred. It was also the last day we were in Edmonton as the movers arrived the next day and we left for Kitchener-Waterloo where I became an Assistant Professor at Waterloo Lutheran University (later in 1973 it became Wilfrid Laurier University). I got tenure in 1973 (and finished my doctoral defence and was awarded my degree in 1973). I was promoted to Full Professor in 1986.
I have been on a number of academic committees, District Health Council and such since 1969. (I will send you my CV).
In 1971, on April 10, Mark Edward was born. He was 10 pounds. Then in 1974 on November 21, Trevor Scott was born.
Quickly moving forward, in 1990 I started doing on-line teaching (mentoring doctoral students) for Walden University. I resigned in 1998 and started doing the same kind of work for Capella University in 2001.
In 1994 Mark and Trevor moved out but in March 1995, Lucille became violent towards me. The next five years were the toughest of my life. Eunice (Lucille's sister), Aunt Hazel (Lucille's Aunt who gave us our wedding reception), both my father (Sept. 30, 1997) and my mother (Dec. 26 1998) all died. I became depressed but also determined to move out since I would get so I shook when I was to go home to Lucille. She cut me off from any friends I had as well.
My father was Grant Roland (an only child) born October 11, 1911 and he was a lawyer. My mother was Margaret Ann Jackson born June 24, 1913. She had type A certificates to teach in English, French and Physical Education. After I started University, she went back to teaching but stuck to English, becoming the Head of the English Department at General Amherst High School. My mother had one sister - Elizabeth (Albertson/Grey) who is now 87 and suffering from Alzheimer's Disease. I last visited her in 2002.
In 1997-98, Lucille and I lived in St. Louis Missouri where I spent my sabbatical at Washington University. Also, in 1997 Trevor married Allison in Iowa.
In February 2000, Mark married Wendy in Michigan.
Trevor and Allison became parents to Joshua (February 2, 2003), Claire (Sept. 11, 2004) and Samantha (February 21, 2007). Mark and Wendy became parents to Anna (Sept. 11, 2005).
On November 2, 2000, after quite a bit of preparation (arranging for call display at work, arranging to use a different office for a couple of months, phoning police and talking with campus security) I moved to Toronto, leaving my marriage of 34 years.
Within a month I was in a relationship with Bob Long. We had separate living accommodation and he recognized my need for a year after moving out before starting new living arrangements. He taught me I could be open and honest. However, on July 1, 2001 he had to go to the hospital for some blood work - he was there about 10 days and was diagnosed with cancer. He went back into the hospital early in August and died August 16. I am so glad I knew Bob.
Later in 2001, Ron Waddington, mentioned above, and I spent a lot of time together. It was like we were back in our childhood. We swam almost daily, travelled together, etc. Ron had lost his partner George to stroke in the summer and I had lost Bob. Ron went into hospital because of depression in March 2002 and they diagnosed that his HIV had acted up again - he died in January 2003.
On April 2, 2004, I met Arnold T. in Manila. That was the first time but it was "magical". In 2005, I was back in Pasay City from January 1 to March 7 living with Arnold and we started to work to get Arnold into Canada.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
The Shootings At Churches
I want to comment on the problems of shootings at churches. There are two issues I wish to address.
The first item to comment on is the need for security guards at churches. If we are supposed to be loving and caring individuals, why do we need security guards. The problem probably arises from the fact that the fundamentalists appear NOT to be loving and caring (and that goes for Christianity as well as Muslims and Jewish faiths). One thing in common in the major literature for all three is caring for each other and LOVE so why do some individuals show such lack of love?
The second comment has to do with shootings themselves. I have already commented on the problem of Marc Lepine being emotionally and mentally ill. The individual who killed five people this past Sunday is undoubtedly mentally in need.
I do not know about the process in other jurisdictions but when I was growing up we had mental hospitals. There is no doubt some individuals were placed in such mental institutions incorrectly but it was not appropriate either to close off admissions to those who do need help.
I want to comment on the problems of shootings at churches. There are two issues I wish to address.
The first item to comment on is the need for security guards at churches. If we are supposed to be loving and caring individuals, why do we need security guards. The problem probably arises from the fact that the fundamentalists appear NOT to be loving and caring (and that goes for Christianity as well as Muslims and Jewish faiths). One thing in common in the major literature for all three is caring for each other and LOVE so why do some individuals show such lack of love?
The second comment has to do with shootings themselves. I have already commented on the problem of Marc Lepine being emotionally and mentally ill. The individual who killed five people this past Sunday is undoubtedly mentally in need.
I do not know about the process in other jurisdictions but when I was growing up we had mental hospitals. There is no doubt some individuals were placed in such mental institutions incorrectly but it was not appropriate either to close off admissions to those who do need help.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Monday visit to family
On Monday, I visited Mark, Wendy, and Anna. They are a neat family. Mark is my son, Anna is his 2-year old daughter, and Wendy is Mark's wife and Anna's mother. Mark and I talked in the morning and after lunch we went down to the basement and assembled some copper piping for the new bathroom down there. He is putting in an additional bedroom in the basement as well.
It takes me three hours to get there and three hours to get home and so it makes a long day for me. At this time of year, going north on the highways can be speculative at best. I started out in the snow flurries and had visibility problems with the windshield washer fluid not working properly going up but coming home it was actually more scary to me since it was so dark and there was absolutely no lights anywhere and I was on a lonely twisting highway.
It is fun to watch grandchildren grow up. Anna is a smart little one. She is 27 months and she talks very clearly, can count, say the alphabet, etc. Obviously, Wendy is teaching her all the time. At one store, I was in the car alone with Anna and she carries on an adult conversation very well.
Since when I go to see my other grandchildren, I spend time there (I have to drive six hours to get there), I try to see Mark's family six times a year. It does not always work out but it does some of the time.
One thing which reallys truck me was a comment Mark made. We were talking about schooling for Anna and he made a comment about his going to pre-school. I told him it was Montessori and he asked if it was because his mother did not want him home or some other reason. As soon as he said that about his mother not wanting him home, I broke out laughing. He had his answer. I felt badly as I try not to say anything against their mother - she is their mother but I could not help laughing that he had figured it out.
I did not leave my spouse because of being gay. I left her because she became abusive to me after the boys left home. She had first been abusive to herself (suicide attempts) and then the house and finally me. I know she was abusive to Bryan but I really do not think she was abusive to Mark or Trevor. She did send them to camp (both day and summer) and to pre-school, etc. even when we could not afford it. I am fascinated that the boys are beginning to realize it.
It seems foolish to say this but I do care about my ex. - she is terrible need of help which I tried to give her and get for her but it ended up a lost cause. I got to the point where I would shake when I got in the car to go home. I am so much better off now - with a boyfriend, Arnold T. who is waiting to come from the Philippines to live with me, with my first boyfriend Bob L. who taught me to be honest and open after clamming up with my spouse but who died all too early.
On Monday, I visited Mark, Wendy, and Anna. They are a neat family. Mark is my son, Anna is his 2-year old daughter, and Wendy is Mark's wife and Anna's mother. Mark and I talked in the morning and after lunch we went down to the basement and assembled some copper piping for the new bathroom down there. He is putting in an additional bedroom in the basement as well.
It takes me three hours to get there and three hours to get home and so it makes a long day for me. At this time of year, going north on the highways can be speculative at best. I started out in the snow flurries and had visibility problems with the windshield washer fluid not working properly going up but coming home it was actually more scary to me since it was so dark and there was absolutely no lights anywhere and I was on a lonely twisting highway.
It is fun to watch grandchildren grow up. Anna is a smart little one. She is 27 months and she talks very clearly, can count, say the alphabet, etc. Obviously, Wendy is teaching her all the time. At one store, I was in the car alone with Anna and she carries on an adult conversation very well.
Since when I go to see my other grandchildren, I spend time there (I have to drive six hours to get there), I try to see Mark's family six times a year. It does not always work out but it does some of the time.
One thing which reallys truck me was a comment Mark made. We were talking about schooling for Anna and he made a comment about his going to pre-school. I told him it was Montessori and he asked if it was because his mother did not want him home or some other reason. As soon as he said that about his mother not wanting him home, I broke out laughing. He had his answer. I felt badly as I try not to say anything against their mother - she is their mother but I could not help laughing that he had figured it out.
I did not leave my spouse because of being gay. I left her because she became abusive to me after the boys left home. She had first been abusive to herself (suicide attempts) and then the house and finally me. I know she was abusive to Bryan but I really do not think she was abusive to Mark or Trevor. She did send them to camp (both day and summer) and to pre-school, etc. even when we could not afford it. I am fascinated that the boys are beginning to realize it.
It seems foolish to say this but I do care about my ex. - she is terrible need of help which I tried to give her and get for her but it ended up a lost cause. I got to the point where I would shake when I got in the car to go home. I am so much better off now - with a boyfriend, Arnold T. who is waiting to come from the Philippines to live with me, with my first boyfriend Bob L. who taught me to be honest and open after clamming up with my spouse but who died all too early.
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Long Yang Club - Toronto
Last night was the wonderful Christmas Party pot luck at LYC-Toronto. We have always had an Asian as Santa Clause as we did again last night. It was fun being President and going out to buy some small presents but (LOL) I did not know how to count. I went out to get 8 presents, got home with what I thought were 9, since I liked something and did not wish to give up another but when I wrapped them, I found I had 10.
My ticket was drawn which is what I was afraid would happen so I declined to take a present. I knew what was in each of the parcels. As I was wrapping the presents, there was one particularly appropriate for Rod but unfortunately, he got a different one. I do not know the tastes of people and it was random and I had not thought of individuals as I was purchasing the presents.
I made my usual salad with a slight difference. I put more celery in it, less mayonnaise, and added mustard. There is probably more pasta and cheese than usual and maybe even more onion too but the same amount of ham.
I had more fun chairing the event last night and felt I managed to get their attention better. It is funny, you would think that with having taught since Sept. 1966, I would be ready to be in front of people but LYC is different than teaching and I am just now getting the hang of it.
Cheers
DJ
Last night was the wonderful Christmas Party pot luck at LYC-Toronto. We have always had an Asian as Santa Clause as we did again last night. It was fun being President and going out to buy some small presents but (LOL) I did not know how to count. I went out to get 8 presents, got home with what I thought were 9, since I liked something and did not wish to give up another but when I wrapped them, I found I had 10.
My ticket was drawn which is what I was afraid would happen so I declined to take a present. I knew what was in each of the parcels. As I was wrapping the presents, there was one particularly appropriate for Rod but unfortunately, he got a different one. I do not know the tastes of people and it was random and I had not thought of individuals as I was purchasing the presents.
I made my usual salad with a slight difference. I put more celery in it, less mayonnaise, and added mustard. There is probably more pasta and cheese than usual and maybe even more onion too but the same amount of ham.
I had more fun chairing the event last night and felt I managed to get their attention better. It is funny, you would think that with having taught since Sept. 1966, I would be ready to be in front of people but LYC is different than teaching and I am just now getting the hang of it.
Cheers
DJ
Friday, December 07, 2007
December 6 _ Why do women want to make it exclusive?
On December 6, the radio, TV and other media play into the hands of feminists who wish to make the Montreal Massacre into a cause celebre over abuse of women.
As a male who was physically and emotionally abused by my ex., I find it offensive when they focus on only one kind of abuse.
The perpetrators of crimes like the Montreal Massacre are SICK. It has nothing to do with the groups that they pick to kill - it has to do with their state of mind. In this case, the killer believed that he had been mistreated through life by women, whether true or not, that was part of his sickness.
The most important lesson to learn from the Montreal Massacre is not to stop abuse of women - it might be to stop abuse of mankind BUT even more, it should be a lesson that we need to treat mental illness.
I personally find it offensive to take an illness and make it the focus of a cause. I am probably going to take some criticism for these comments for I am not being politically correct here - abuse of males is not politically correct.
On December 6, the radio, TV and other media play into the hands of feminists who wish to make the Montreal Massacre into a cause celebre over abuse of women.
As a male who was physically and emotionally abused by my ex., I find it offensive when they focus on only one kind of abuse.
The perpetrators of crimes like the Montreal Massacre are SICK. It has nothing to do with the groups that they pick to kill - it has to do with their state of mind. In this case, the killer believed that he had been mistreated through life by women, whether true or not, that was part of his sickness.
The most important lesson to learn from the Montreal Massacre is not to stop abuse of women - it might be to stop abuse of mankind BUT even more, it should be a lesson that we need to treat mental illness.
I personally find it offensive to take an illness and make it the focus of a cause. I am probably going to take some criticism for these comments for I am not being politically correct here - abuse of males is not politically correct.
Sunday, December 02, 2007
My front web page - out of date but worth putting here so you know more about me. Also there is an explanation of what I am trying to do here.
Right now, it seems I am a bit disorganized but it is to try to consolidate a great deal I have written at times into one location.WELCOME TO DJBEAR'S HOMEPAGE
WHO AM I?
This page belongs to DJ (also known as Canadabear or djbear). The real name is Douglas Jackson McC. To my mother and my soon-to-be-ex., I was Doug but to my new friends it is DJ or sometimes JAck (the A is intentional). I hated being called Dougie which sounds too much like doggie. My students call me DJ so I use that nick - indeed, if you were to phone my number, you would hear "DJ" as the response in the message on my voice mail.
There is much to tell you in pages like this BUT I do not wish to bore you - therefore, everything is organized by clicking on linked pages. I warn you that it is difficult to keep this up-to-date and I also have not finished what I want to say yet. Of course, you can pick and choose what you wish to read.
You might also wish to read about some of the things which go on in my life. I urge you to visit tobear's blog to find out some comments on on-going events in my life and some of my comments on current events.
If you wish to learn about me in quick summary, please refer to my short version. [this is very slow loading so beware]
CLICK THE SECTION YOU WANT TO SEE
- MY PICTURE GALLERY just a few pictures
- STUFF ABOUT ME maybe more than you want to know and links to more pictures.
- MY NUCLEAR FAMILY my sons
- MY FRIENDS surprising how important this has become
- MY WORK there is much to say here
- MY EDUCATION briefly
- I AM A BEAR definition and some links
- MY SOULMATE what am I looking for in a life partner
I am HIV NEGATIVE but I am concerned about those who are +ve. Although the inhibitors seem to work really well, it remains a terrible disease. It is also very scary when one goes to get the recommended HIV test regularly.
My brother whom I never had, my childhood friend whom I had known since age 3, recently died of AIDS. For me watching him die was worse than watching someone die of cancer.
You can check out how masculine-acting or straight-acting you are. 
I rate a 3.
You can write to me at: Canadabear or at: djbear or at : bear
Explanation for what is Going On
I had created two blogs when I lived with Arnold T. in 2005. I no longer could access them to update them so I copied them into here and now I can update them at will. It also explains a great deal about Arnold and I. One of the blogs was a daily chronicle of what it was like to live in the Philippines (for the first 2/3 of my stay). The other was a weekly summary of the first six weeks and some thoughts. Both are found here as a whole.
I have not really blogged since then until this year when I started to blog at GayChristians. I will bring those items here too but will continue to post there as well as here.
Right now, I am waiting for Arnold to move to Canada. He was asked by Immigration and Citizenship Canada for his passport in late October which we know is typically the last stage in getting permanent residency in Canada. Please join with me in praying the the process goes smoothly. Arnold T. has a birthday December 23 and it would be so wonderful to have him here for that.
Arnold lives in an area in the Philippines where he does not wish to be really out. His family knows but does not talk about it. His friends know but he is working for a Roman Catholic institution and does not wish to jeopardize his status. Thus, I am going back and removing his last name and just using the T. I also only use my last initial M because of my sons whom I am out to but I do not wish to create difficulties for them.
Again, please pray for Arnold to get to Canada this month.
I had created two blogs when I lived with Arnold T. in 2005. I no longer could access them to update them so I copied them into here and now I can update them at will. It also explains a great deal about Arnold and I. One of the blogs was a daily chronicle of what it was like to live in the Philippines (for the first 2/3 of my stay). The other was a weekly summary of the first six weeks and some thoughts. Both are found here as a whole.
I have not really blogged since then until this year when I started to blog at GayChristians. I will bring those items here too but will continue to post there as well as here.
Right now, I am waiting for Arnold to move to Canada. He was asked by Immigration and Citizenship Canada for his passport in late October which we know is typically the last stage in getting permanent residency in Canada. Please join with me in praying the the process goes smoothly. Arnold T. has a birthday December 23 and it would be so wonderful to have him here for that.
Arnold lives in an area in the Philippines where he does not wish to be really out. His family knows but does not talk about it. His friends know but he is working for a Roman Catholic institution and does not wish to jeopardize his status. Thus, I am going back and removing his last name and just using the T. I also only use my last initial M because of my sons whom I am out to but I do not wish to create difficulties for them.
Again, please pray for Arnold to get to Canada this month.
Saturday, December 01, 2007
Brought over from maniladj.blogspot (written in 2005)
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Some More Thoughts and Feelings:
People ask me about safety in the Philippines. Generally, I think it is safer than what outsiders are led to believe. There is trouble in Moro with Muslims and Communists stirring up trouble to get Moro to separate. Occasionally, when they get frustrated at too much government activity against them, they hit out at civilian targets as they did February 14, 2005 and just over a year ago with a superferry.
The biggest problem I see is poverty that leads to small robbery to get food. Cell phones, pockets, and small items which are easy to convert to cash at a pawn shop are fair game for that type of activity. When on the MRT for instance, I either wear my money in an inside the pants wallet or I put it in one pocket and keep my hand in the pocket.
There are other aspects that might not meet the safety standards of Canada or England. I think of safety belt laws. I also think of legislation, which ensures that vehicles are well-maintained. Laws to inspect the road-worthiness of vehicles, including tires.
I mentioned several weeks ago that I am a very poor passenger in an automobile. Perhaps it is because of the experiences I have had – the few accidents I have been in have been as a passenger mostly. I also remember always that Ralph Moore was killed in a taxi accident in Newfoundland.
Well, my thoughts about the traffic here in Manila are scary. I get in some of the taxis and feel as if I am at an amusement park on dodgem cars (which I enjoy by the way). Here, I do not feel like I am in control of the car nor do I have the protection of the rubber bumpers of the dodgem cars.
The taxis are mostly Toyota and Honda but there are some Mitsubishi and a few Kia vehicles. They are mostly painted white with black lettering hand painted on the side. There are no seat belts for anyone but the driver.
Some of the taxis are in terrible repair and even worse are full of old Kleenex and other trappings of prior riders. On more than one occasion I have been in a cab which stopped and needed some coaxing to get it going again. Other cabs run noisy or uneven as if they have never been cared for. Often those drivers are also the ones who drive like maniacs. There are a few well-kept, better-working vehicles. Those drivers tend towards courtesy and legal driving.
The buses here are from different private companies. Some are in poor repair as can be seen by bald tires and terrible pollution emanating from them. They stop in the middle of the road without warning, angle themselves in to the curb so they block three or four lanes of traffic, etc. They honk their horns a great deal. If I were doing some development planning, I would probably rationalize the bus system and I would start by requiring the bus companies to meet certain safety and clean-air standards.
Yet, I have asked Arnold on several occasions why we can’t take the bus to Makati to the mall. He has always told me it was unsafe. Well, that was proven by the recent bombing (Feb. 14) of a bus running along EDSA, at Ayala which is the road we take to go to the mall that is at the Ayala intersection. Now, I am glad he has been looking out for me. The TV news in Tagalog is vivid as we look at pictures since I feel close to what has happened. He was more worried about robbers than bombers but buses are not protected in the same way as some other means of transport. To get on the MRT here, bags are inspected and one is felt up and down.
The long-distance buses are labeled as air-conditioned or not – they seem in better repair. The schedule is adhered to much better than most Philippine-time things. The problem is that arrival times are not as closely adhered to as the drivers and conductors permit people to disembark anywhere and everywhere.
I have not been in a Jeepney on this trip, except in Olongapo. That presumably is safer than in Manila. Both Arnold and Rod told me that one is more likely to be robbed or accosted on this mode of transportation. It is true that the taxi is cheaper for the two of us than one fare on the Toronto subway so it makes sense. However, on Saturday past, the cab driver took us an alternate route, which was jammed with traffic. It took us three times longer to get to our destination than normal and cost us an extra 30 peso (about 60 cents). I was fuming by the time we got there, as the guy’s air conditioning was not working either. Arnold told him as he paid him that he was a crook. Going home that same day, the cab driver told us when we got into the cab that the traffic between Makati and Malibay was very bad and he asked permission to take us an alternate route. Arnold gave permission and there was only about two minutes of traffic all the way home, unlike the traffic in. It cost us about 15 pesos more. But, I felt so good in that we had been asked for our choice; we had been told the situation. We had had a smooth and quite acceptable ride that was worth the extra pesos for if he had taken us into traffic as I have seen it; it might have been far more frustrating. We certainly did not think of the latter guy as a crook.
Safety is a concern I would have. The Jeepney’s tend to stop or even roll to a slow pace so the passenger can get on or off. On the tricycles, if one is confronted by a large truck or even one of the many minivans or SUVs there would be no chance for the tricycle passengers. Personally, I enjoy the tricycle mode of transport. One can feel like a king or queen, riding in the seat on your own, being powered along by a driver. It is a feeling I never get in a taxi. The tricycles go slow enough that any accident is not going to be serious unless the Trike comes into a conflict with a large vehicle. Mind you, I have only been on one pedi-trike, the rest all being motorcycle driven. Again, I would add some pollution controls to the law books to force the operators to keep their vehicles in good repair.
Clearly the Jeepney’s are open and there are no seat belts. I wonder at their safety record. Perhaps it is these slow vehicles which keep the highway and roadway death toll low since their speed is not fast and they keep other vehicles from speeding. On the other hand, I saw some pretty dangerous attempts to pass these slow vehicles on the long-distance bus to Baguio, Olongapo, and back.
Another observation about Philippine culture. The Pinoy is typically interested in music. There are karaoke bars all over the place. The songs are on VCD (Video Compact Disc) with the music and pretty pictures and people sing along to these songs.
The malls have atriums and often there is a musical event occurring. Great crowds of people line up at the railings to watch and listen. Oh, the music here is inspirational. Security at these mall events includes dogs to sniff bombs.
Moreover, they love their musicians. The musicians are highly regarded and often have their own TV programs. They identify the pictures of a popular musician who appears on a magazine cover or on TV; the individual singers are given the adulation of a Michael Jackson or a Madonna even though they do not have the international recognition. If they have made it in the US that fact is played up extensively.
Finally, it is impossible to tell time from the local clocks. They are all set several minutes (usually 10 or more) fast. I asked Arnold about that and discovered that it is so they will be on time but for most things they are late any way. There is an expression “Philippine time” just like in Toronto they call it “gay time”. Last year when I was here, I quickly learned that you line up to wait and wait and wait. It can be very frustrating to people used to more scheduled items.
posted by DJ @ 11:22 AM 5 comments
Day 46 (Tuesday):
We rose late and headed for the Internet Café. We tried to book our Hong Kong trip on-line but that did not work. I also wanted to let people know that we were unaffected by the bombing of the bus yesterday. We had both been out of load so we had not been able to contact any of the people who contacted us.
The first thing I did when I went on the net was see the good news that my divorce order has been signed and that it will be final March 14, 2005. I am planning two celebrations. One in Bangkok and one in Toronto.
After our time on the net, we headed to Megamall since we knew there were travel agencies there which would handle our Hong Kong trip. We booked for February 24 on the 2:15 p.m. plane, returning on the 6 p.m. plane the 26th. Again, I found the advertised price was not the price we were able to get. We managed to get a satisfactory explanation for all the extra charges (although I gather Arnold thinks I am a hard guy to get along with sometimes) but our trip is costing us about $200 US more than quoted on the net.
We are still not guaranteed the hotel we want. I do hope that works out. They will let us know tomorrow or the next.
After booking our trip, we headed for the SM Makati where we did some more grocery shopping, then home. We watched one VCD and then had a long and wonderful talk.
posted by DJ @ 11:19 AM 2 comments
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Day 45 (Monday):
Today was Valentines Day. We started the day with some greetings in the morning. We then headed to the mall and spent some time on the net and had lunch there. BUT, before we had lunch we knew we both needed some time alone in the mall.
Arnold left the Café early but I had some work still to do. I texted him when I was finished and he suggested we meet in two hours for lunch. He then texted me and suggested he was done and so I agreed to meet him in ten minutes. Only one hour had expired.
The fact is that I had bought a card and some roses. I also had bought some sports socks to keep the running shoes from picking up sweat. Arnold could see the roses and was embarrassed. He is very conscious NOT to appear as a couple in public and even though I told him I could be taking roses to my spouse, as many men were doing that day, his response was that the other men were not with other men.
I dislike hiding from being myself but I was careful not to embarrass him. We wanted to go to the Philippine Airlines office to arrange our package to Hong Kong that they advertised everywhere and which was listed on their web site. We went to the apartment first and then to the Philippine Airline office but at the latter, they told us we would have to phone a number to arrange and then come in and pick up our tickets. We then headed back down to the Glorietta Mall to do some grocery shopping including two bottles of white wine.
About 7 p.m. we headed back to the apartment We wanted a late dinner so I lay down after seeing the start of the news about the bombings in General Santos and Davao. Half an hour later, I rose and the news was on about the bombing here in Manila.
There were two buses affected here. The bombing was in the underpass at the Ayala MRT station on Edsa. That puts it right by the Glorietta Mall. The pictures are shocking. Of course, I understand why Arnold tells me he will not permit me to take the bus BUT I have to admit that the MRT itself is likely to be as dangerous or as in Davao, a mall can be bombed too.
I am not fightened by the bomb. I am turned off by the horror and destruction to Philippine tourism. They have a wonderful country and have need for the money tourists bring which means jobs. These terrorists (connected to Bin Laden according to news reports) are doing what they can to destroy the country in order to gain independence for Moro. This seems related to Malaysia – a country which maybe we all ought to be wary of since in Thailand last year I was made aware that Malaysia was responsible for the bombings there.
The day ended with some wonderful talk, building each other up and a most exciting cap to the day.
posted by DJ @ 10:17 AM 0 comments
Day 44 (Sunday):
The day started with us going to Max’s for chicken dinner. Then Louie went off to the hospital while we hopped a tricycle to go to the bus depot. We caught the next bus to Manila.
The ride was only three hours.
When we got home we went to the Internet Café, bought a few things at the supermarket and came home and ate. We watched a VCD and then I collapsed at around 1 and Arnold around 2.
posted by DJ @ 9:15 AM 0 comments
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Day 43 (Saturday):
After breakfast, we headed to the bus depot where we got the bus to Olongapo. There was a non-air-conditioned bus at 11:30 and an air-conditioned one at 12:30. We chose the air-conditioned one. The ride was long and tedious. Arnold managed to sleep but I only managed a short nap.
Louie was at the bus station to meet us and so we rode a Jeepney to a hotel Ridgestone and then headed over to the mall for dinner at Chow King. We then went back to the hotel. Louie went off to the hospital to visit his sister and then went to shower. Meanwhile we showered.
Louie returned about 9:30 and we walked over to Freeport where we took a cab over to Pier One. I loved Pier One. It was beautiful.
Freeport was the US Naval Base. Pier One was next to the water. It had several bars and many tables under canopies. There was a stage and beside the stage were huge screens. There were singing groups taking turns singing with backup bands and sometimes the camera was turned on the audience and sometimes on the stage. We stayed there for a couple of drinks before moving to Sibil, which is more disco music.
Again, we sat under the stars. Louie had lots of friends and several of them sat with us for a period. He introduced us to the DJ who was his cousin. We stayed until 2 and got a ride home from two of Louie’s friends.
Louie and Arnold went out to get some food but they did not come back for a couple of hours. They went to the hospital to see Louie’s sister. I did get a text message as to where they were.
posted by DJ @ 9:42 AM 0 comments
Day 42 (Friday):
Arnold had to go off to work again and I headed up to the mall walking this time. We met for lunch at the mall and wandered around. I ended up buying a pair of sport socks, a beautiful shirt in wine colour before heading back to the Internet Cafe to finish my work. However, I had sat down only a few minutes when I heard firecrackers. Then Arnold phoned t say he was finished meeting the people he needed to meet and there were festivities outside.
I signed off and went outside to try to find Arnold. After several text messages we were able to meet and watch a parade. The parade was partly for the flower festival, partly for welcoming summer (which here, they consider to be starting in March), and partly Chinese New Year. We then went together back into the Internet Café and finally, the third time that day, I finished cleaning my accounts.
For dinner, we went back to Le Fondue. The guy I liked playing music earlier in the week was on and he welcomed us back to the place. We sat at the same table outside and had Long Island Ice Tea or Zombies. There were three music players who rotated. The one who was on when we first got there played songs that we liked. The second one had a lot of soul (feeling) in his music and neither of us were very interested in the third player.
We went back to the hotel at a decent hour and I thought we would be going to bed early. However, Arnold went out to get something to eat and on the way back to the hotel his uncle drove by, picked him up, took him to a girlie bar where he was plied with beer, and cigarettes. He vomited and asked to go back to the hotel. I of course worried as he had not taken his phone with him and so had been unable to let me know what was happening.
posted by DJ @ 9:41 AM 0 comments
Monday, February 14, 2005
Day 41 (Thursday):
The first thing we did was check out of Le Breau and move to Prime Hotel about two blocks away. The cost was ore but included breakfast and there was consistent hot water.
We had breakfast after checking into the Prime Hotel in the dining room even though we had to pay for it.
Then Arnold moved off to do his job while I went to an Internet Café just around the corner. He contacted me that he wanted lunch with me and that is what we did – we met at the mall. He did not have to go back to his work right away and so he showed me a new café at the mall, which was better, and same price as one I had been at.
He went off to work and we got together for dinner again. In meantime, I had bought some new shoes – the ones I had been wearing had developed a horrible sweat smell. I put my shoes in the box and started to wear the new shoes with sport socks. I also bought powder for the old shoes and for my feet.
This time we headed off in a taxi again looking for the two gay bars in Baguio. We finally came to one called Male Box. We went in but it was way out in the country. Finally as the dancers started to get ready, one guy came over and sat next to me. He was aggressive and wanted a drink. I thought one would not hurt. Then his friend came and sat next to Arnold. They were pesky and finally we decided to get out of there. The bar charged six times the cost of our beers for their beers and wiped us out of our money. We were lucky we quit when we did. There was no credit card, we were out in the country, and we had just enough for a taxi back to town. As we were leaving, the guy who had been pestering me had the nerve to ask for some money for food. He had eaten some of our appetizer already.
We had some sharp feelings that night. The aggressive nature of the dancers, the money, and our own drink made us highly vulnerable to our feelings.
posted by DJ @ 11:40 AM 0 comments
Day 40 (Wednesday):
We rose early and were on the bus bound for Baguio at 7:30. The bus was due to leave at 8:00 but pulled out early – the first time I have ever seen that in the Philippines.
The bus ride was interesting. It was an air conditioned bus without any comfort room aboard. It stopped twice for washroom and eats breaks in the seven hours it took to get to Baguio. I do not know how I can do justice to a description of what I saw.
There was corn (in various stages to just sprouting to fully tasseled) and fruit trees. Typically, the highway was narrow with many obstacles such as Jeepneys and tricycles along the way.
The ride got to be long although I had anticipated it would be one hour longer. We got off the bus and into a taxi and headed up Session Street. Arnold had us stop in front of Hotel Le Breau, which was a bit odd. One walked up a flight of stairs, took an elevator up two to the fourth floor and our room assigned was one more floor up.
We went to an interesting place for dinner. The place had excellent realistic woodcarvings of people, including security guards spaced around the entrance area.
We went to Chow King for snack, sat in the Internet café briefly, and then took off in a taxi to search for a gay bar we had heard of. We did not find it and settled on staying downtown. As we stopped at the room, Arnold saw the guy at the desk watching video of the rooms, and he saw our room being reviewed. We walked along Session Street and found Le Fondue, which had a balcony on the second floor so we could sit outside and sip our drinks.
The first musician was excellent and he seemed to play tunes that I really liked. Being outside, the music was not as loud as if we were inside but it was still very much part of the atmosphere. We managed to stay until after midnight and we then went back to Chow King on the way to our hotel and went to sleep.
posted by DJ @ 10:39 AM 0 comments
Day 39 (Tuesday):
The day started rather late. My laundry was dry and seemed neat as it looks like I will not have to do any laundry. I had a wonderful shower, shave, etc. today. I am getting so I like pouring water over myself and am getting better at it, having developed a bit of a system for soaping myself etc.
After breakfast (which for me was tuna and chicken on spaghetti), Arnold did his laundry and then he typed the rest of his responses to the MA questionnaire that Laurier requires. We then went to the bank, the mall (I wanted another pocket shirt for travel as we are going to be on a bus a long time tomorrow. After some frustrating times, I ended up not getting one and heading off to the internet café. There I got assigned a computer which had such a slow connection to the internet that it was always timing out so after 30 minutes I asked to switch which they gladly did and the switch proved extremely successful.
We did not finish at the Café until well after four. We were both hungry but Arnold needed to FAX his application form to Laurier – he had sent the answers to the questions electronically. We found a place that would FAX the document and then went back to the Thai restaurant we had eaten in yesterday. I had my second great meal there. Arnold needed lip balm for his still-sore lips and I asked him then to help me with the shirt issue. The problem was I really liked one and got all the way up to the counter and when they rang it in, it was 2,000 pesos more than what I had read so I told them I did not want it.
He picked out the shirt that was more colourful and I am grateful to him for that BUT I only paid 240 pesos (or less than $6.00 Canadian) – not the outrageous sum for the other shirt.
We then went out to watch the festivities in the square outside Glorietta 4 (in front of Intercontinental Hotel). It was announced to start at 6 p.m. and finally got underway at 6:45. The fireworks stated at 7:00 but were generally disappointing. We went into the mall to the grocery store and bought what was needed for dinner and our trip.
As we waited and waited for a taxi to get hoe, I knew we would be going to bed late. However, about 12 midnight I did pack some items in my backpack – the rest to be left t the morning.
posted by DJ @ 9:46 AM 0 comments
Day 37 (Sunday):
Nothing unusual on this day.
Day 38 (Monday):
There are days when nothing much happens. This is one of them.
posted by DJ @ 9:37 AM 0 comments
Day 36 (Saturday):
I have been here five weeks now and do not miss Canada at all.
The day started with us paying the electrical bill (about $10.00 for the month). Then again, we were off to the Café. We ate at the Vietnamese Restaurant again as the Japanese restaurant was closed for renovations.
After buying a few groceries (under $5.00 worth), including half a dozen beer and a dozen eggs, water, and some tomato sauce. we headed back to the apartment. Arnold visited the fellows across the way and I grabbed a few minutes sleep. He then worked on his essay for his application and then we had dinner.
At about 10 we headed to the Red Banana. No taxi driver seems able to find Orosa Street. Anyway, we stayed at Red Banana for about 2 ½ hours before heading home and right to bed.
posted by DJ @ 9:35 AM 0 comments
Sunday, February 13, 2005
Day 35 (Friday):
Friday was a fairly ordinary day.
The day started by trying to find a Notary Public. I got the Divorce Affidavit notarized and sent the copy of to Kitchener by Federal Express. The latter cost a huge amount compared to everything else around here. It feels good to have that off.
One thing, which struck me, was the free entertainment at Megamall. I had suggested we go there, as I knew some VCDs I wanted that I had only seen there. We also wanted to see a movie but when we got there, the movie was two hours in the future. Thus, we started to walk the mall when we came across some display going on at the main level – we were two levels up. Arnold said he liked this better than a movie and four hours later he decided he had seen enough. There was a competition between schools in cheerleading. They were very very good once the competition started.
I found it hard to be on my feet for that long so I walked the mall and found out more about the mall. I also went into Jolibee for a drink so I could sit.
Arnold has been having a problem with his mouth and now today had a sore throat. It appears that his immune system is really compromised but four nights of NO sleep and days when he only grabbed a short nap took their toll.
The last two nights we have had videos entitled “The World’s Most Amazing Videos” which have been awesome.
However, after those two VCDs tonight, I felt so very tired that even though Arnold decided to watch it and it looked good, I felt unable to hold my head up so I collapsed.
posted by DJ @ 6:09 PM 0 comments
Day 34 (Thursday):
I awakened at about 4:30 and spent about an hour on the laptop before going back to bed. Next thing I knew Arnold’s phone rang at 9 a.m. Arlene had phoned last night happy that the construction was going so well but asking for more money to finish off. While Arnold tried to go back to bed, that got me up. And Arnold did not have much luck going back to bed so he managed to get up and make breakfast consisting of soup (chicken with egg) and some fried meat, which I put into a sandwich.
I think coming back to Manila was a let down for me. I felt very down about a lot of things.
.
We went quickly down to Glorietta Mall where Arnold went off to the bank while I went to the café. However, before I got very far the internet connection went down and I waited while they tried to fix it. I had already waited and tried to do different things before it became obvious that there was no connection.
I paid my fee, and they (Creativity Lounge) would not give me ANY credit for the time I waited. I know it is of no consequence in the grand scheme of funds BUT it is NOT the first time they have failed to correct a bill. One time Arnold had gone elsewhere before coming to the café (Creativity Lounge) and left before I did and yet they charged him the full time they did me (probably about 25 minutes at 1 peso a minute).
Arnold could tell I was angry and he suggested we had to bury our feelings, something that I do not agree with any longer. For me, it is the principle of them consistently overcharging. We went and found another café in a building just across the street and there the price is half what it is in the mall and the machines and seating arrangement are significantly better. It also looks like there will be a new café opening up in our neighbourhood soon and that will make it much easier as it still costs about 120 pesos to get to and from the Glorietta Mall.
After getting back to the room, we rested and slept briefly and then Arnold went out looking for a Notary Public in our neighbourhood. He met up with Michael, the fellow who wants a Canadian partner who came back to the apartment with him. Michael joined us for dinner and we talked. I showed him the pictures of Palawan, Boracay, and then Gilbert arrived. Finally, Ver and Lance arrived and so I was pressed into showing the pictures over again so I also showed the pictures of the Philippines on my first visit as well.
The fellows left about 10 p.m. and so Arnold and I watched Hangman. It was a strange but not terrible movie. We then put West Side Story on but soon found we were too tired and so retired at about midnight.
posted by DJ @ 6:00 PM 0 comments
Saturday, February 05, 2005
Day 33 (Wednesday):
Arnold finally came back to the room about 4:30 a.m. after helping the students another 6 hours, going above and beyond his contract to help students.
We slept some until my alarm went off at 7 a.m. and I rose and shaved, and got ready to travel. Finally at 7:45, Arnold got up, showered, and got ready. We then had a quick breakfast, discovering that Arnold had an outstanding bill from last fall when he had entertained his students there as he was leaving for Manila.
Arnold shared with me that his mouth was sore with four canker sores. I fear the last few days of no sleep have reduced his immune system. He has complained that he was going to get pimples too but they did not develop. He says he gets them when he has tension and that the tension around the family has been severe while we were in Puerto Princesa.
We went to the airport. The terminal is within walking distance but because we had our bags we took a tricycle. We were checked through, assigned seats and I had to be registered as leaving the province.
Our trip home was not that exciting. We had a huge number of groceries to buy and I did some few things at the Internet café. I was able to print a copy of the Divorce Petition, which is all-important.
We did go to the Pharmacy and bought something for Arnold’s mouth. He danced quite literally when he put it on but noticed the swelling go down quickly. He applied it again after brushing his teeth as he was going to bed.
We watched some videos and drank a couple of beer each during the evening before calling it quits early. After all, Arnold has only had a few hours of sleep in the last week.
posted by DJ @ 2:50 PM 0 comments
Day 32 (Tuesday):
The day started with us having an early breakfast again. I had a 9 a.m. conference call and had loaded my telephone with 600 pesos (plus what I already had on it). However, it ran out of load before the call was over. Arnold slept as I did the call from the table by the pool.
I then went downtown to try to let Arnold sleep some more to the Café. I had to make sure the tax monies were looked after back home. I hardly did any other things but needed to get money to pay for the room and meals so I also paid those on the way back into the room. The room we had was less than $20.00 Canadian a night. The meals for the time we were there came to about $75.00, which considering it covered two people over 8 days is exceptionally good. That included the beers, the Long Island Iced Tea, and the drinks we had the night Arlene and Ernesto joined us for drinks.
Arnold went in the afternoon to say good bye to his family. I finished the book which was called Guilty Abroad (a Mark Twain mystery in the Sherlock Holmes genre). I read outdoors since I wanted to be out of the room so they would make it up. We needed towels this time – most days we did not need much but they did our room every day but one and changed the bedding and towels and soap. Then, when Arnold got back, we hired a tricycle and went to see Christian, the German man who sponsors parties for the gay youth of Puerto Princesa. We talked to several young people who lived in a building on the hill and found out Christian was away until Saturday.
We then went to Baker’s where we could see the Ostrich and behind the Ostrich in the picture is Princesa Bay. The drier drove us around so that I saw Holy Trinity College, the Puerto Princesa Cathedral (Immaculate Conception) and other sites.
When we got back to the hotel we went to dinner in the restaurant and talked – probably the best talk we have ever had. The students kept interrupting Arnold begging for his help and eventually he gave in and said he would go from 11 to 1 and come back and be with me.
Unfortunately, he did not get back until 4:30 and went right to sleep.
posted by DJ @ 1:49 PM 0 comments
Day 31 (Monday):
Monday was supposed to be a day when we had an opportunity to relax. We knew Arnold had to go back to evaluate the student projects but basically we knew he was finished teaching. We had breakfast fairly early and went for a swim prior to going into the room to relax. Since we knew now we were going back on Wednesday, I walked down to the Philippine Airlines and got the tickets fixed for Wednesday (the third time I had been in to change tickets but hopefully the last).
Arnold did sleep a bit while I was out but not enough to keep him going.
Arnold wanted to see more of the construction and do some of the evaluation and since we assumed he would be home for a late dinner (like about 11), he went off. I went downtown yet again and bought a paper and stuff and then went to the Café.
It became clear fairly early on that Arnold was going to be later than 11 – he actually showed up at about 5:30.
posted by DJ @ 12:48 PM 0 comments
Day 30 (Sunday):
Sunday turned out to be like other days that Arnold was teaching. It was all too short. Arnold was close to 9 a.m. when he got back and not anxious to eat. Thus he tried to go to sleep. When he could not we went out to breakfast. We then went back to the room to try to get him rested. I was so rested I could not sleep either so the two of us did some talking but basically, the day went by really quickly.
We went into town together and I headed to the NCCC and bank before going into the Internet Café. This time, I stayed late before heading back to the room. Again, I went out and had a San Miguel and some food before turning in, thinking this was the last night I would be alone.
Arnold did arrive back at the room at around 6:30 so the night was not endless.
posted by DJ @ 11:47 AM 0 comments
Day 29 (Saturday):
Arnold slept during the morning hours after having a bite to eat and surprisingly, I also slept some more. We had a late lunch and rested and talked through the afternoon. However, Arnold went by the house to see how construction was coming before going to the college to teach. I was better prepared. Arnold did not want dinner so I had a snack before heading downtown to the Internet Café and I again went and bought a paper. I had also run out of underwear and while I planned to wash what I had, I also knew that I was running out in Manila most the time so I bought a new pair at NCCC. I also bought a newspaper.
The Internet Café in Puerto Princesa is quite a bit cheaper and has much better facilities that at Glorietta Mall and so I stayed quite a bit later. I went back to the room and went to the front bar, had a beer and ordered a small pizza, which they make very very well. I then read the paper and some in my book and went to sleep. I did not find anything on TV of real interest.
posted by DJ @ 10:45 AM 0 comments
Thursday, February 03, 2005
Thoughts and Feelings:
Here is another attempt to portray my thoughts and feelings about the Philippines. I find there is a huge dislike amongst the yuppie (educated, just starting out twenty-somethings) group towards the way the Philippines is run.
Graft, corruption, and bribery rule most everything. It is so sad. The daily news involves allegations of illegal logging, of individuals at Customs and Revenue or at the Police being fired by the Ombudsman because they are clearly living beyond their salary level. The government has a revenue shortfall and it is estimated that if people actually paid the taxes owed they could balance the books. They have recently passed a law giving bonus amounts to revenue collectors who collect an increased amount (although I do not have an understanding of how much extra). That will ensure if the bonuses are large enough that the revenue collectors will be less inclined to take a bribe from firms and individuals who want the collector to look the other way.
This bribery, graft etc. is so embedded in everyday life here that it is difficult for any government to deal with. Gloria has promised to deal with it and apparently has had some success but not enough.
3,000 people per day leave the Philippines because there are not jobs, which will fully employ them. Yet, those people are probably the ones who could go furthest in helping stimulate the Philippine economy. The government puts on a positive front and almost every day the newspaper refers to OFWs (Overseas Filipino Workers) as sending huge amounts of funds back to help their poor relatives back home and stimulate the Philippine economy that way.
Another thing I have learned the hard way is something I completely despise and I call it a lie. That is to estimate a job or something at x number of pesos. So you agree to it and then find it does not include this or that – and to make whatever able to function, you need this or that. I have had things double in price that way and if I had known when I said my original YES, I probably would have said NO. This inability to make decisions based on price just exasperates the feeling I have of dishonesty and lack of integrity in this country. People here excuse it because they are used to it but anyone who budgets is out of luck completely.
Pollution is a way of life. The fan we have in our apartment gets black soot on the cage. I first discovered it when I accidentally rubbed my hand on the cage while moving it from bedroom to living area. I have to clean it every couple of days but it still shows black. It amazes me that so many clothes look white when they hang them out to dry.
Apparently, the water quality out of the tap has more to do with dirty and old piping as it apparently is made drinkable at source. However, I would never drink it. I do brush my teeth with it though and let it be used for soup and coffee (the latter of which I rarely have).
There is a political climate here that does not bode well for the future. There are several parties, which I would label as anti-business or left wing. Poe, who almost won the Presidency last May was a populist actor and from what I can see has a huge following. They even brought out whole magazine issues on him since his death. He was a generous man individually, helping people and organizations that tended to help the poor. However, I distrust some of his supporters and fear that if they rally around someone new, who is also popular, there may be a palace coup against Gloria. She came to power herself through a coup, the previous president, Estrada, still being under house arrest and not having been tried. Of course, Acquino who preceded Estrada became a folk hero because her husband was murdered at the airport as he was arriving back from being in exile. Marcos was the previous President and we all know something about he and Imelda.
Thus, the last four Presidents have come to power through attachment to uprising or assassination. Acquino and Gloria then won the Presidency on their own but there are still court cases on last May’s election.
Imelda Marcos may have had many shoes – so many that is what she is remembered for. She was a strong woman and in many ways probably outdid her husband, which is why he was President. She is still a power. Her work on behalf of people is still seen as wonderful. She thinks the issue of the shoes was overdone in the media. She came from a poorer background and says she tried to show how the poor could live as they moved up in life. She was a model when young which is how she got noticed by a young senator whom she married and whom she appears to have been genuinely in love with.
There is an expression “there is a little Imelda in all of us” and I can assure you that for some people I know that is true.
Education in the Philippines or School – there are so many observations to be made. First, the students are going to school at 6 a.m. and finishing at just before 6 at night. I know they get perhaps a longer lunch hour but the teachers in Canada would strike if we added that many hours onto the school day. The schools are often inconspicuous and open so one can hear the students reciting in unison. The uniforms make the kids look so smart and while they are going to and from school, they behave so well when they have their uniforms on.
When Arnold agreed to teach over the weekend, it was my understanding initially that he would teach about 6 hours per night. Instead he taught 12 to 15 hours each night plus he went back in Monday and Tuesday nights as a bonus and taught until 4 or 5 a.m. both nights. If I suggested to my Laurier classes that I would help them if they stayed over night, the students would have a fit. Here they were texting him asking him to come back for one last go-over the materials. Since the course was computer programming, he had to help them ensure that they had executable files in the end. I just can not believe the dedication.
There was a report about quality of the 1500 plus Universities and Colleges here in the Philippines put together by some British group for the Asian Economic Development Organization. The report suggested that the quality needed to be more uniform and that there are too many colleges and universities here.
Arnold and I share a big interest in politics and religion and so we had a long discussion on this report. He pointed out how the Philippine government licenses to many of the private institutions through graft. He gave examples of which he was personally aware. It would seem to me that given the financial resources available, that some consolidation and rationalization would make sense but some of the specialty schools (nursing and computing are examples) might be left to specialize, remembering that those students are not getting a broad education but a specialized one.
There are more churches here than any place I know of. It was particularly evident in Puerto Princesa. I pointed out to Arnold two things about that. First, for a country which has so many churches, it has not stopped the lies and the bribery and graft. Indeed, the Philippines says they are listed about number two or three in Bribery and Graft. I don’t recall that being the World Bank ranking but certainly since I have been here it is evident that it is rampant.
The second aspect is extremely evident during the travels I have now done. The Church buildings stick out as being ostentatious when so many live in poverty. It is not just the official Roman Catholic Church which has fancy buildings -–it is also most the Protestant Churches too.
On the other hand, Arnold’s education was private through the Church and his brother and sister had a public education. The private education certainly is far superior to the public.
Another thought which I sometimes I have has to do with the golden opportunities this country has for tourism. It is possible for those who are English-speaking to get along without having to speak a foreign language. There are beautiful beaches (the best I have ever seen) and a very favourable price advantage here. The winter in the far Northern Hemisphere is the time when the weather in the Philippines is at it’s best. The best time for weather in far northern countries is the time when the Philippines has its rainy season. It is difficult to comprehend why Thailand has so many more tourists than the Philippines given what I have seen of the two countries. Mind you, the Philippines does not have the tourism infrastructure and I suppose if that develops prices will go up and crowding will ruin the pristine character of the beaches.
posted by DJ @ 2:01 PM 0 comments
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Name: DJ
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
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* Day 46 (Tuesday): We rose late and headed for the...
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* Day 44 (Sunday): The day started with us going to...
* Day 43 (Saturday): After breakfast, we headed to ...
* Day 42 (Friday): Arnold had to go off to work aga...
* Day 41 (Thursday): The first thing we did was che...
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Thursday, February 17, 2005
Some More Thoughts and Feelings:
People ask me about safety in the Philippines. Generally, I think it is safer than what outsiders are led to believe. There is trouble in Moro with Muslims and Communists stirring up trouble to get Moro to separate. Occasionally, when they get frustrated at too much government activity against them, they hit out at civilian targets as they did February 14, 2005 and just over a year ago with a superferry.
The biggest problem I see is poverty that leads to small robbery to get food. Cell phones, pockets, and small items which are easy to convert to cash at a pawn shop are fair game for that type of activity. When on the MRT for instance, I either wear my money in an inside the pants wallet or I put it in one pocket and keep my hand in the pocket.
There are other aspects that might not meet the safety standards of Canada or England. I think of safety belt laws. I also think of legislation, which ensures that vehicles are well-maintained. Laws to inspect the road-worthiness of vehicles, including tires.
I mentioned several weeks ago that I am a very poor passenger in an automobile. Perhaps it is because of the experiences I have had – the few accidents I have been in have been as a passenger mostly. I also remember always that Ralph Moore was killed in a taxi accident in Newfoundland.
Well, my thoughts about the traffic here in Manila are scary. I get in some of the taxis and feel as if I am at an amusement park on dodgem cars (which I enjoy by the way). Here, I do not feel like I am in control of the car nor do I have the protection of the rubber bumpers of the dodgem cars.
The taxis are mostly Toyota and Honda but there are some Mitsubishi and a few Kia vehicles. They are mostly painted white with black lettering hand painted on the side. There are no seat belts for anyone but the driver.
Some of the taxis are in terrible repair and even worse are full of old Kleenex and other trappings of prior riders. On more than one occasion I have been in a cab which stopped and needed some coaxing to get it going again. Other cabs run noisy or uneven as if they have never been cared for. Often those drivers are also the ones who drive like maniacs. There are a few well-kept, better-working vehicles. Those drivers tend towards courtesy and legal driving.
The buses here are from different private companies. Some are in poor repair as can be seen by bald tires and terrible pollution emanating from them. They stop in the middle of the road without warning, angle themselves in to the curb so they block three or four lanes of traffic, etc. They honk their horns a great deal. If I were doing some development planning, I would probably rationalize the bus system and I would start by requiring the bus companies to meet certain safety and clean-air standards.
Yet, I have asked Arnold on several occasions why we can’t take the bus to Makati to the mall. He has always told me it was unsafe. Well, that was proven by the recent bombing (Feb. 14) of a bus running along EDSA, at Ayala which is the road we take to go to the mall that is at the Ayala intersection. Now, I am glad he has been looking out for me. The TV news in Tagalog is vivid as we look at pictures since I feel close to what has happened. He was more worried about robbers than bombers but buses are not protected in the same way as some other means of transport. To get on the MRT here, bags are inspected and one is felt up and down.
The long-distance buses are labeled as air-conditioned or not – they seem in better repair. The schedule is adhered to much better than most Philippine-time things. The problem is that arrival times are not as closely adhered to as the drivers and conductors permit people to disembark anywhere and everywhere.
I have not been in a Jeepney on this trip, except in Olongapo. That presumably is safer than in Manila. Both Arnold and Rod told me that one is more likely to be robbed or accosted on this mode of transportation. It is true that the taxi is cheaper for the two of us than one fare on the Toronto subway so it makes sense. However, on Saturday past, the cab driver took us an alternate route, which was jammed with traffic. It took us three times longer to get to our destination than normal and cost us an extra 30 peso (about 60 cents). I was fuming by the time we got there, as the guy’s air conditioning was not working either. Arnold told him as he paid him that he was a crook. Going home that same day, the cab driver told us when we got into the cab that the traffic between Makati and Malibay was very bad and he asked permission to take us an alternate route. Arnold gave permission and there was only about two minutes of traffic all the way home, unlike the traffic in. It cost us about 15 pesos more. But, I felt so good in that we had been asked for our choice; we had been told the situation. We had had a smooth and quite acceptable ride that was worth the extra pesos for if he had taken us into traffic as I have seen it; it might have been far more frustrating. We certainly did not think of the latter guy as a crook.
Safety is a concern I would have. The Jeepney’s tend to stop or even roll to a slow pace so the passenger can get on or off. On the tricycles, if one is confronted by a large truck or even one of the many minivans or SUVs there would be no chance for the tricycle passengers. Personally, I enjoy the tricycle mode of transport. One can feel like a king or queen, riding in the seat on your own, being powered along by a driver. It is a feeling I never get in a taxi. The tricycles go slow enough that any accident is not going to be serious unless the Trike comes into a conflict with a large vehicle. Mind you, I have only been on one pedi-trike, the rest all being motorcycle driven. Again, I would add some pollution controls to the law books to force the operators to keep their vehicles in good repair.
Clearly the Jeepney’s are open and there are no seat belts. I wonder at their safety record. Perhaps it is these slow vehicles which keep the highway and roadway death toll low since their speed is not fast and they keep other vehicles from speeding. On the other hand, I saw some pretty dangerous attempts to pass these slow vehicles on the long-distance bus to Baguio, Olongapo, and back.
Another observation about Philippine culture. The Pinoy is typically interested in music. There are karaoke bars all over the place. The songs are on VCD (Video Compact Disc) with the music and pretty pictures and people sing along to these songs.
The malls have atriums and often there is a musical event occurring. Great crowds of people line up at the railings to watch and listen. Oh, the music here is inspirational. Security at these mall events includes dogs to sniff bombs.
Moreover, they love their musicians. The musicians are highly regarded and often have their own TV programs. They identify the pictures of a popular musician who appears on a magazine cover or on TV; the individual singers are given the adulation of a Michael Jackson or a Madonna even though they do not have the international recognition. If they have made it in the US that fact is played up extensively.
Finally, it is impossible to tell time from the local clocks. They are all set several minutes (usually 10 or more) fast. I asked Arnold about that and discovered that it is so they will be on time but for most things they are late any way. There is an expression “Philippine time” just like in Toronto they call it “gay time”. Last year when I was here, I quickly learned that you line up to wait and wait and wait. It can be very frustrating to people used to more scheduled items.
posted by DJ @ 11:22 AM 5 comments
Day 46 (Tuesday):
We rose late and headed for the Internet Café. We tried to book our Hong Kong trip on-line but that did not work. I also wanted to let people know that we were unaffected by the bombing of the bus yesterday. We had both been out of load so we had not been able to contact any of the people who contacted us.
The first thing I did when I went on the net was see the good news that my divorce order has been signed and that it will be final March 14, 2005. I am planning two celebrations. One in Bangkok and one in Toronto.
After our time on the net, we headed to Megamall since we knew there were travel agencies there which would handle our Hong Kong trip. We booked for February 24 on the 2:15 p.m. plane, returning on the 6 p.m. plane the 26th. Again, I found the advertised price was not the price we were able to get. We managed to get a satisfactory explanation for all the extra charges (although I gather Arnold thinks I am a hard guy to get along with sometimes) but our trip is costing us about $200 US more than quoted on the net.
We are still not guaranteed the hotel we want. I do hope that works out. They will let us know tomorrow or the next.
After booking our trip, we headed for the SM Makati where we did some more grocery shopping, then home. We watched one VCD and then had a long and wonderful talk.
posted by DJ @ 11:19 AM 2 comments
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Day 45 (Monday):
Today was Valentines Day. We started the day with some greetings in the morning. We then headed to the mall and spent some time on the net and had lunch there. BUT, before we had lunch we knew we both needed some time alone in the mall.
Arnold left the Café early but I had some work still to do. I texted him when I was finished and he suggested we meet in two hours for lunch. He then texted me and suggested he was done and so I agreed to meet him in ten minutes. Only one hour had expired.
The fact is that I had bought a card and some roses. I also had bought some sports socks to keep the running shoes from picking up sweat. Arnold could see the roses and was embarrassed. He is very conscious NOT to appear as a couple in public and even though I told him I could be taking roses to my spouse, as many men were doing that day, his response was that the other men were not with other men.
I dislike hiding from being myself but I was careful not to embarrass him. We wanted to go to the Philippine Airlines office to arrange our package to Hong Kong that they advertised everywhere and which was listed on their web site. We went to the apartment first and then to the Philippine Airline office but at the latter, they told us we would have to phone a number to arrange and then come in and pick up our tickets. We then headed back down to the Glorietta Mall to do some grocery shopping including two bottles of white wine.
About 7 p.m. we headed back to the apartment We wanted a late dinner so I lay down after seeing the start of the news about the bombings in General Santos and Davao. Half an hour later, I rose and the news was on about the bombing here in Manila.
There were two buses affected here. The bombing was in the underpass at the Ayala MRT station on Edsa. That puts it right by the Glorietta Mall. The pictures are shocking. Of course, I understand why Arnold tells me he will not permit me to take the bus BUT I have to admit that the MRT itself is likely to be as dangerous or as in Davao, a mall can be bombed too.
I am not fightened by the bomb. I am turned off by the horror and destruction to Philippine tourism. They have a wonderful country and have need for the money tourists bring which means jobs. These terrorists (connected to Bin Laden according to news reports) are doing what they can to destroy the country in order to gain independence for Moro. This seems related to Malaysia – a country which maybe we all ought to be wary of since in Thailand last year I was made aware that Malaysia was responsible for the bombings there.
The day ended with some wonderful talk, building each other up and a most exciting cap to the day.
posted by DJ @ 10:17 AM 0 comments
Day 44 (Sunday):
The day started with us going to Max’s for chicken dinner. Then Louie went off to the hospital while we hopped a tricycle to go to the bus depot. We caught the next bus to Manila.
The ride was only three hours.
When we got home we went to the Internet Café, bought a few things at the supermarket and came home and ate. We watched a VCD and then I collapsed at around 1 and Arnold around 2.
posted by DJ @ 9:15 AM 0 comments
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Day 43 (Saturday):
After breakfast, we headed to the bus depot where we got the bus to Olongapo. There was a non-air-conditioned bus at 11:30 and an air-conditioned one at 12:30. We chose the air-conditioned one. The ride was long and tedious. Arnold managed to sleep but I only managed a short nap.
Louie was at the bus station to meet us and so we rode a Jeepney to a hotel Ridgestone and then headed over to the mall for dinner at Chow King. We then went back to the hotel. Louie went off to the hospital to visit his sister and then went to shower. Meanwhile we showered.
Louie returned about 9:30 and we walked over to Freeport where we took a cab over to Pier One. I loved Pier One. It was beautiful.
Freeport was the US Naval Base. Pier One was next to the water. It had several bars and many tables under canopies. There was a stage and beside the stage were huge screens. There were singing groups taking turns singing with backup bands and sometimes the camera was turned on the audience and sometimes on the stage. We stayed there for a couple of drinks before moving to Sibil, which is more disco music.
Again, we sat under the stars. Louie had lots of friends and several of them sat with us for a period. He introduced us to the DJ who was his cousin. We stayed until 2 and got a ride home from two of Louie’s friends.
Louie and Arnold went out to get some food but they did not come back for a couple of hours. They went to the hospital to see Louie’s sister. I did get a text message as to where they were.
posted by DJ @ 9:42 AM 0 comments
Day 42 (Friday):
Arnold had to go off to work again and I headed up to the mall walking this time. We met for lunch at the mall and wandered around. I ended up buying a pair of sport socks, a beautiful shirt in wine colour before heading back to the Internet Cafe to finish my work. However, I had sat down only a few minutes when I heard firecrackers. Then Arnold phoned t say he was finished meeting the people he needed to meet and there were festivities outside.
I signed off and went outside to try to find Arnold. After several text messages we were able to meet and watch a parade. The parade was partly for the flower festival, partly for welcoming summer (which here, they consider to be starting in March), and partly Chinese New Year. We then went together back into the Internet Café and finally, the third time that day, I finished cleaning my accounts.
For dinner, we went back to Le Fondue. The guy I liked playing music earlier in the week was on and he welcomed us back to the place. We sat at the same table outside and had Long Island Ice Tea or Zombies. There were three music players who rotated. The one who was on when we first got there played songs that we liked. The second one had a lot of soul (feeling) in his music and neither of us were very interested in the third player.
We went back to the hotel at a decent hour and I thought we would be going to bed early. However, Arnold went out to get something to eat and on the way back to the hotel his uncle drove by, picked him up, took him to a girlie bar where he was plied with beer, and cigarettes. He vomited and asked to go back to the hotel. I of course worried as he had not taken his phone with him and so had been unable to let me know what was happening.
posted by DJ @ 9:41 AM 0 comments
Monday, February 14, 2005
Day 41 (Thursday):
The first thing we did was check out of Le Breau and move to Prime Hotel about two blocks away. The cost was ore but included breakfast and there was consistent hot water.
We had breakfast after checking into the Prime Hotel in the dining room even though we had to pay for it.
Then Arnold moved off to do his job while I went to an Internet Café just around the corner. He contacted me that he wanted lunch with me and that is what we did – we met at the mall. He did not have to go back to his work right away and so he showed me a new café at the mall, which was better, and same price as one I had been at.
He went off to work and we got together for dinner again. In meantime, I had bought some new shoes – the ones I had been wearing had developed a horrible sweat smell. I put my shoes in the box and started to wear the new shoes with sport socks. I also bought powder for the old shoes and for my feet.
This time we headed off in a taxi again looking for the two gay bars in Baguio. We finally came to one called Male Box. We went in but it was way out in the country. Finally as the dancers started to get ready, one guy came over and sat next to me. He was aggressive and wanted a drink. I thought one would not hurt. Then his friend came and sat next to Arnold. They were pesky and finally we decided to get out of there. The bar charged six times the cost of our beers for their beers and wiped us out of our money. We were lucky we quit when we did. There was no credit card, we were out in the country, and we had just enough for a taxi back to town. As we were leaving, the guy who had been pestering me had the nerve to ask for some money for food. He had eaten some of our appetizer already.
We had some sharp feelings that night. The aggressive nature of the dancers, the money, and our own drink made us highly vulnerable to our feelings.
posted by DJ @ 11:40 AM 0 comments
Day 40 (Wednesday):
We rose early and were on the bus bound for Baguio at 7:30. The bus was due to leave at 8:00 but pulled out early – the first time I have ever seen that in the Philippines.
The bus ride was interesting. It was an air conditioned bus without any comfort room aboard. It stopped twice for washroom and eats breaks in the seven hours it took to get to Baguio. I do not know how I can do justice to a description of what I saw.
There was corn (in various stages to just sprouting to fully tasseled) and fruit trees. Typically, the highway was narrow with many obstacles such as Jeepneys and tricycles along the way.
The ride got to be long although I had anticipated it would be one hour longer. We got off the bus and into a taxi and headed up Session Street. Arnold had us stop in front of Hotel Le Breau, which was a bit odd. One walked up a flight of stairs, took an elevator up two to the fourth floor and our room assigned was one more floor up.
We went to an interesting place for dinner. The place had excellent realistic woodcarvings of people, including security guards spaced around the entrance area.
We went to Chow King for snack, sat in the Internet café briefly, and then took off in a taxi to search for a gay bar we had heard of. We did not find it and settled on staying downtown. As we stopped at the room, Arnold saw the guy at the desk watching video of the rooms, and he saw our room being reviewed. We walked along Session Street and found Le Fondue, which had a balcony on the second floor so we could sit outside and sip our drinks.
The first musician was excellent and he seemed to play tunes that I really liked. Being outside, the music was not as loud as if we were inside but it was still very much part of the atmosphere. We managed to stay until after midnight and we then went back to Chow King on the way to our hotel and went to sleep.
posted by DJ @ 10:39 AM 0 comments
Day 39 (Tuesday):
The day started rather late. My laundry was dry and seemed neat as it looks like I will not have to do any laundry. I had a wonderful shower, shave, etc. today. I am getting so I like pouring water over myself and am getting better at it, having developed a bit of a system for soaping myself etc.
After breakfast (which for me was tuna and chicken on spaghetti), Arnold did his laundry and then he typed the rest of his responses to the MA questionnaire that Laurier requires. We then went to the bank, the mall (I wanted another pocket shirt for travel as we are going to be on a bus a long time tomorrow. After some frustrating times, I ended up not getting one and heading off to the internet café. There I got assigned a computer which had such a slow connection to the internet that it was always timing out so after 30 minutes I asked to switch which they gladly did and the switch proved extremely successful.
We did not finish at the Café until well after four. We were both hungry but Arnold needed to FAX his application form to Laurier – he had sent the answers to the questions electronically. We found a place that would FAX the document and then went back to the Thai restaurant we had eaten in yesterday. I had my second great meal there. Arnold needed lip balm for his still-sore lips and I asked him then to help me with the shirt issue. The problem was I really liked one and got all the way up to the counter and when they rang it in, it was 2,000 pesos more than what I had read so I told them I did not want it.
He picked out the shirt that was more colourful and I am grateful to him for that BUT I only paid 240 pesos (or less than $6.00 Canadian) – not the outrageous sum for the other shirt.
We then went out to watch the festivities in the square outside Glorietta 4 (in front of Intercontinental Hotel). It was announced to start at 6 p.m. and finally got underway at 6:45. The fireworks stated at 7:00 but were generally disappointing. We went into the mall to the grocery store and bought what was needed for dinner and our trip.
As we waited and waited for a taxi to get hoe, I knew we would be going to bed late. However, about 12 midnight I did pack some items in my backpack – the rest to be left t the morning.
posted by DJ @ 9:46 AM 0 comments
Day 37 (Sunday):
Nothing unusual on this day.
Day 38 (Monday):
There are days when nothing much happens. This is one of them.
posted by DJ @ 9:37 AM 0 comments
Day 36 (Saturday):
I have been here five weeks now and do not miss Canada at all.
The day started with us paying the electrical bill (about $10.00 for the month). Then again, we were off to the Café. We ate at the Vietnamese Restaurant again as the Japanese restaurant was closed for renovations.
After buying a few groceries (under $5.00 worth), including half a dozen beer and a dozen eggs, water, and some tomato sauce. we headed back to the apartment. Arnold visited the fellows across the way and I grabbed a few minutes sleep. He then worked on his essay for his application and then we had dinner.
At about 10 we headed to the Red Banana. No taxi driver seems able to find Orosa Street. Anyway, we stayed at Red Banana for about 2 ½ hours before heading home and right to bed.
posted by DJ @ 9:35 AM 0 comments
Sunday, February 13, 2005
Day 35 (Friday):
Friday was a fairly ordinary day.
The day started by trying to find a Notary Public. I got the Divorce Affidavit notarized and sent the copy of to Kitchener by Federal Express. The latter cost a huge amount compared to everything else around here. It feels good to have that off.
One thing, which struck me, was the free entertainment at Megamall. I had suggested we go there, as I knew some VCDs I wanted that I had only seen there. We also wanted to see a movie but when we got there, the movie was two hours in the future. Thus, we started to walk the mall when we came across some display going on at the main level – we were two levels up. Arnold said he liked this better than a movie and four hours later he decided he had seen enough. There was a competition between schools in cheerleading. They were very very good once the competition started.
I found it hard to be on my feet for that long so I walked the mall and found out more about the mall. I also went into Jolibee for a drink so I could sit.
Arnold has been having a problem with his mouth and now today had a sore throat. It appears that his immune system is really compromised but four nights of NO sleep and days when he only grabbed a short nap took their toll.
The last two nights we have had videos entitled “The World’s Most Amazing Videos” which have been awesome.
However, after those two VCDs tonight, I felt so very tired that even though Arnold decided to watch it and it looked good, I felt unable to hold my head up so I collapsed.
posted by DJ @ 6:09 PM 0 comments
Day 34 (Thursday):
I awakened at about 4:30 and spent about an hour on the laptop before going back to bed. Next thing I knew Arnold’s phone rang at 9 a.m. Arlene had phoned last night happy that the construction was going so well but asking for more money to finish off. While Arnold tried to go back to bed, that got me up. And Arnold did not have much luck going back to bed so he managed to get up and make breakfast consisting of soup (chicken with egg) and some fried meat, which I put into a sandwich.
I think coming back to Manila was a let down for me. I felt very down about a lot of things.
.
We went quickly down to Glorietta Mall where Arnold went off to the bank while I went to the café. However, before I got very far the internet connection went down and I waited while they tried to fix it. I had already waited and tried to do different things before it became obvious that there was no connection.
I paid my fee, and they (Creativity Lounge) would not give me ANY credit for the time I waited. I know it is of no consequence in the grand scheme of funds BUT it is NOT the first time they have failed to correct a bill. One time Arnold had gone elsewhere before coming to the café (Creativity Lounge) and left before I did and yet they charged him the full time they did me (probably about 25 minutes at 1 peso a minute).
Arnold could tell I was angry and he suggested we had to bury our feelings, something that I do not agree with any longer. For me, it is the principle of them consistently overcharging. We went and found another café in a building just across the street and there the price is half what it is in the mall and the machines and seating arrangement are significantly better. It also looks like there will be a new café opening up in our neighbourhood soon and that will make it much easier as it still costs about 120 pesos to get to and from the Glorietta Mall.
After getting back to the room, we rested and slept briefly and then Arnold went out looking for a Notary Public in our neighbourhood. He met up with Michael, the fellow who wants a Canadian partner who came back to the apartment with him. Michael joined us for dinner and we talked. I showed him the pictures of Palawan, Boracay, and then Gilbert arrived. Finally, Ver and Lance arrived and so I was pressed into showing the pictures over again so I also showed the pictures of the Philippines on my first visit as well.
The fellows left about 10 p.m. and so Arnold and I watched Hangman. It was a strange but not terrible movie. We then put West Side Story on but soon found we were too tired and so retired at about midnight.
posted by DJ @ 6:00 PM 0 comments
Saturday, February 05, 2005
Day 33 (Wednesday):
Arnold finally came back to the room about 4:30 a.m. after helping the students another 6 hours, going above and beyond his contract to help students.
We slept some until my alarm went off at 7 a.m. and I rose and shaved, and got ready to travel. Finally at 7:45, Arnold got up, showered, and got ready. We then had a quick breakfast, discovering that Arnold had an outstanding bill from last fall when he had entertained his students there as he was leaving for Manila.
Arnold shared with me that his mouth was sore with four canker sores. I fear the last few days of no sleep have reduced his immune system. He has complained that he was going to get pimples too but they did not develop. He says he gets them when he has tension and that the tension around the family has been severe while we were in Puerto Princesa.
We went to the airport. The terminal is within walking distance but because we had our bags we took a tricycle. We were checked through, assigned seats and I had to be registered as leaving the province.
Our trip home was not that exciting. We had a huge number of groceries to buy and I did some few things at the Internet café. I was able to print a copy of the Divorce Petition, which is all-important.
We did go to the Pharmacy and bought something for Arnold’s mouth. He danced quite literally when he put it on but noticed the swelling go down quickly. He applied it again after brushing his teeth as he was going to bed.
We watched some videos and drank a couple of beer each during the evening before calling it quits early. After all, Arnold has only had a few hours of sleep in the last week.
posted by DJ @ 2:50 PM 0 comments
Day 32 (Tuesday):
The day started with us having an early breakfast again. I had a 9 a.m. conference call and had loaded my telephone with 600 pesos (plus what I already had on it). However, it ran out of load before the call was over. Arnold slept as I did the call from the table by the pool.
I then went downtown to try to let Arnold sleep some more to the Café. I had to make sure the tax monies were looked after back home. I hardly did any other things but needed to get money to pay for the room and meals so I also paid those on the way back into the room. The room we had was less than $20.00 Canadian a night. The meals for the time we were there came to about $75.00, which considering it covered two people over 8 days is exceptionally good. That included the beers, the Long Island Iced Tea, and the drinks we had the night Arlene and Ernesto joined us for drinks.
Arnold went in the afternoon to say good bye to his family. I finished the book which was called Guilty Abroad (a Mark Twain mystery in the Sherlock Holmes genre). I read outdoors since I wanted to be out of the room so they would make it up. We needed towels this time – most days we did not need much but they did our room every day but one and changed the bedding and towels and soap. Then, when Arnold got back, we hired a tricycle and went to see Christian, the German man who sponsors parties for the gay youth of Puerto Princesa. We talked to several young people who lived in a building on the hill and found out Christian was away until Saturday.
We then went to Baker’s where we could see the Ostrich and behind the Ostrich in the picture is Princesa Bay. The drier drove us around so that I saw Holy Trinity College, the Puerto Princesa Cathedral (Immaculate Conception) and other sites.
When we got back to the hotel we went to dinner in the restaurant and talked – probably the best talk we have ever had. The students kept interrupting Arnold begging for his help and eventually he gave in and said he would go from 11 to 1 and come back and be with me.
Unfortunately, he did not get back until 4:30 and went right to sleep.
posted by DJ @ 1:49 PM 0 comments
Day 31 (Monday):
Monday was supposed to be a day when we had an opportunity to relax. We knew Arnold had to go back to evaluate the student projects but basically we knew he was finished teaching. We had breakfast fairly early and went for a swim prior to going into the room to relax. Since we knew now we were going back on Wednesday, I walked down to the Philippine Airlines and got the tickets fixed for Wednesday (the third time I had been in to change tickets but hopefully the last).
Arnold did sleep a bit while I was out but not enough to keep him going.
Arnold wanted to see more of the construction and do some of the evaluation and since we assumed he would be home for a late dinner (like about 11), he went off. I went downtown yet again and bought a paper and stuff and then went to the Café.
It became clear fairly early on that Arnold was going to be later than 11 – he actually showed up at about 5:30.
posted by DJ @ 12:48 PM 0 comments
Day 30 (Sunday):
Sunday turned out to be like other days that Arnold was teaching. It was all too short. Arnold was close to 9 a.m. when he got back and not anxious to eat. Thus he tried to go to sleep. When he could not we went out to breakfast. We then went back to the room to try to get him rested. I was so rested I could not sleep either so the two of us did some talking but basically, the day went by really quickly.
We went into town together and I headed to the NCCC and bank before going into the Internet Café. This time, I stayed late before heading back to the room. Again, I went out and had a San Miguel and some food before turning in, thinking this was the last night I would be alone.
Arnold did arrive back at the room at around 6:30 so the night was not endless.
posted by DJ @ 11:47 AM 0 comments
Day 29 (Saturday):
Arnold slept during the morning hours after having a bite to eat and surprisingly, I also slept some more. We had a late lunch and rested and talked through the afternoon. However, Arnold went by the house to see how construction was coming before going to the college to teach. I was better prepared. Arnold did not want dinner so I had a snack before heading downtown to the Internet Café and I again went and bought a paper. I had also run out of underwear and while I planned to wash what I had, I also knew that I was running out in Manila most the time so I bought a new pair at NCCC. I also bought a newspaper.
The Internet Café in Puerto Princesa is quite a bit cheaper and has much better facilities that at Glorietta Mall and so I stayed quite a bit later. I went back to the room and went to the front bar, had a beer and ordered a small pizza, which they make very very well. I then read the paper and some in my book and went to sleep. I did not find anything on TV of real interest.
posted by DJ @ 10:45 AM 0 comments
Thursday, February 03, 2005
Thoughts and Feelings:
Here is another attempt to portray my thoughts and feelings about the Philippines. I find there is a huge dislike amongst the yuppie (educated, just starting out twenty-somethings) group towards the way the Philippines is run.
Graft, corruption, and bribery rule most everything. It is so sad. The daily news involves allegations of illegal logging, of individuals at Customs and Revenue or at the Police being fired by the Ombudsman because they are clearly living beyond their salary level. The government has a revenue shortfall and it is estimated that if people actually paid the taxes owed they could balance the books. They have recently passed a law giving bonus amounts to revenue collectors who collect an increased amount (although I do not have an understanding of how much extra). That will ensure if the bonuses are large enough that the revenue collectors will be less inclined to take a bribe from firms and individuals who want the collector to look the other way.
This bribery, graft etc. is so embedded in everyday life here that it is difficult for any government to deal with. Gloria has promised to deal with it and apparently has had some success but not enough.
3,000 people per day leave the Philippines because there are not jobs, which will fully employ them. Yet, those people are probably the ones who could go furthest in helping stimulate the Philippine economy. The government puts on a positive front and almost every day the newspaper refers to OFWs (Overseas Filipino Workers) as sending huge amounts of funds back to help their poor relatives back home and stimulate the Philippine economy that way.
Another thing I have learned the hard way is something I completely despise and I call it a lie. That is to estimate a job or something at x number of pesos. So you agree to it and then find it does not include this or that – and to make whatever able to function, you need this or that. I have had things double in price that way and if I had known when I said my original YES, I probably would have said NO. This inability to make decisions based on price just exasperates the feeling I have of dishonesty and lack of integrity in this country. People here excuse it because they are used to it but anyone who budgets is out of luck completely.
Pollution is a way of life. The fan we have in our apartment gets black soot on the cage. I first discovered it when I accidentally rubbed my hand on the cage while moving it from bedroom to living area. I have to clean it every couple of days but it still shows black. It amazes me that so many clothes look white when they hang them out to dry.
Apparently, the water quality out of the tap has more to do with dirty and old piping as it apparently is made drinkable at source. However, I would never drink it. I do brush my teeth with it though and let it be used for soup and coffee (the latter of which I rarely have).
There is a political climate here that does not bode well for the future. There are several parties, which I would label as anti-business or left wing. Poe, who almost won the Presidency last May was a populist actor and from what I can see has a huge following. They even brought out whole magazine issues on him since his death. He was a generous man individually, helping people and organizations that tended to help the poor. However, I distrust some of his supporters and fear that if they rally around someone new, who is also popular, there may be a palace coup against Gloria. She came to power herself through a coup, the previous president, Estrada, still being under house arrest and not having been tried. Of course, Acquino who preceded Estrada became a folk hero because her husband was murdered at the airport as he was arriving back from being in exile. Marcos was the previous President and we all know something about he and Imelda.
Thus, the last four Presidents have come to power through attachment to uprising or assassination. Acquino and Gloria then won the Presidency on their own but there are still court cases on last May’s election.
Imelda Marcos may have had many shoes – so many that is what she is remembered for. She was a strong woman and in many ways probably outdid her husband, which is why he was President. She is still a power. Her work on behalf of people is still seen as wonderful. She thinks the issue of the shoes was overdone in the media. She came from a poorer background and says she tried to show how the poor could live as they moved up in life. She was a model when young which is how she got noticed by a young senator whom she married and whom she appears to have been genuinely in love with.
There is an expression “there is a little Imelda in all of us” and I can assure you that for some people I know that is true.
Education in the Philippines or School – there are so many observations to be made. First, the students are going to school at 6 a.m. and finishing at just before 6 at night. I know they get perhaps a longer lunch hour but the teachers in Canada would strike if we added that many hours onto the school day. The schools are often inconspicuous and open so one can hear the students reciting in unison. The uniforms make the kids look so smart and while they are going to and from school, they behave so well when they have their uniforms on.
When Arnold agreed to teach over the weekend, it was my understanding initially that he would teach about 6 hours per night. Instead he taught 12 to 15 hours each night plus he went back in Monday and Tuesday nights as a bonus and taught until 4 or 5 a.m. both nights. If I suggested to my Laurier classes that I would help them if they stayed over night, the students would have a fit. Here they were texting him asking him to come back for one last go-over the materials. Since the course was computer programming, he had to help them ensure that they had executable files in the end. I just can not believe the dedication.
There was a report about quality of the 1500 plus Universities and Colleges here in the Philippines put together by some British group for the Asian Economic Development Organization. The report suggested that the quality needed to be more uniform and that there are too many colleges and universities here.
Arnold and I share a big interest in politics and religion and so we had a long discussion on this report. He pointed out how the Philippine government licenses to many of the private institutions through graft. He gave examples of which he was personally aware. It would seem to me that given the financial resources available, that some consolidation and rationalization would make sense but some of the specialty schools (nursing and computing are examples) might be left to specialize, remembering that those students are not getting a broad education but a specialized one.
There are more churches here than any place I know of. It was particularly evident in Puerto Princesa. I pointed out to Arnold two things about that. First, for a country which has so many churches, it has not stopped the lies and the bribery and graft. Indeed, the Philippines says they are listed about number two or three in Bribery and Graft. I don’t recall that being the World Bank ranking but certainly since I have been here it is evident that it is rampant.
The second aspect is extremely evident during the travels I have now done. The Church buildings stick out as being ostentatious when so many live in poverty. It is not just the official Roman Catholic Church which has fancy buildings -–it is also most the Protestant Churches too.
On the other hand, Arnold’s education was private through the Church and his brother and sister had a public education. The private education certainly is far superior to the public.
Another thought which I sometimes I have has to do with the golden opportunities this country has for tourism. It is possible for those who are English-speaking to get along without having to speak a foreign language. There are beautiful beaches (the best I have ever seen) and a very favourable price advantage here. The winter in the far Northern Hemisphere is the time when the weather in the Philippines is at it’s best. The best time for weather in far northern countries is the time when the Philippines has its rainy season. It is difficult to comprehend why Thailand has so many more tourists than the Philippines given what I have seen of the two countries. Mind you, the Philippines does not have the tourism infrastructure and I suppose if that develops prices will go up and crowding will ruin the pristine character of the beaches.
posted by DJ @ 2:01 PM 0 comments
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Brought over from djmanila (written in 2005)
Feb. 17, 2005
Some More Thoughts and Feelings:
People ask me about safety in the Philippines. Generally, I think it is safer than what outsiders are led to believe. There is trouble in Moro with Muslims and Communists stirring up trouble to get Moro to separate. Occasionally, when they get frustrated at too much government activity against them, they hit out at civilian targets as they did February 14, 2005 and just over a year ago with a superferry.
The biggest problem I see is poverty that leads to small robbery to get food. Cell phones, pockets, and small items which are easy to convert to cash at a pawn shop are fair game for that type of activity. When on the MRT for instance, I either wear my money in an inside the pants wallet or I put it in one pocket and keep my hand in the pocket.
There are other aspects that might not meet the safety standards of Canada or England. I think of safety belt laws. I also think of legislation, which ensures that vehicles are well-maintained. Laws to inspect the road-worthiness of vehicles, including tires.
I mentioned several weeks ago that I am a very poor passenger in an automobile. Perhaps it is because of the experiences I have had – the few accidents I have been in have been as a passenger mostly. I also remember always that Ralph Moore was killed in a taxi accident in Newfoundland.
Well, my thoughts about the traffic here in Manila are scary. I get in some of the taxis and feel as if I am at an amusement park on dodgem cars (which I enjoy by the way). Here, I do not feel like I am in control of the car nor do I have the protection of the rubber bumpers of the dodgem cars.
The taxis are mostly Toyota and Honda but there are some Mitsubishi and a few Kia vehicles. They are mostly painted white with black lettering hand painted on the side. There are no seat belts for anyone but the driver.
Some of the taxis are in terrible repair and even worse are full of old Kleenex and other trappings of prior riders. On more than one occasion I have been in a cab which stopped and needed some coaxing to get it going again. Other cabs run noisy or uneven as if they have never been cared for. Often those drivers are also the ones who drive like maniacs. There are a few well-kept, better-working vehicles. Those drivers tend towards courtesy and legal driving.
The buses here are from different private companies. Some are in poor repair as can be seen by bald tires and terrible pollution emanating from them. They stop in the middle of the road without warning, angle themselves in to the curb so they block three or four lanes of traffic, etc. They honk their horns a great deal. If I were doing some development planning, I would probably rationalize the bus system and I would start by requiring the bus companies to meet certain safety and clean-air standards.
Yet, I have asked Arnold on several occasions why we can’t take the bus to Makati to the mall. He has always told me it was unsafe. Well, that was proven by the recent bombing (Feb. 14) of a bus running along EDSA, at Ayala which is the road we take to go to the mall that is at the Ayala intersection. Now, I am glad he has been looking out for me. The TV news in Tagalog is vivid as we look at pictures since I feel close to what has happened. He was more worried about robbers than bombers but buses are not protected in the same way as some other means of transport. To get on the MRT here, bags are inspected and one is felt up and down.
The long-distance buses are labeled as air-conditioned or not – they seem in better repair. The schedule is adhered to much better than most Philippine-time things. The problem is that arrival times are not as closely adhered to as the drivers and conductors permit people to disembark anywhere and everywhere.
I have not been in a Jeepney on this trip, except in Olongapo. That presumably is safer than in Manila. Both Arnold and Rod told me that one is more likely to be robbed or accosted on this mode of transportation. It is true that the taxi is cheaper for the two of us than one fare on the Toronto subway so it makes sense. However, on Saturday past, the cab driver took us an alternate route, which was jammed with traffic. It took us three times longer to get to our destination than normal and cost us an extra 30 peso (about 60 cents). I was fuming by the time we got there, as the guy’s air conditioning was not working either. Arnold told him as he paid him that he was a crook. Going home that same day, the cab driver told us when we got into the cab that the traffic between Makati and Malibay was very bad and he asked permission to take us an alternate route. Arnold gave permission and there was only about two minutes of traffic all the way home, unlike the traffic in. It cost us about 15 pesos more. But, I felt so good in that we had been asked for our choice; we had been told the situation. We had had a smooth and quite acceptable ride that was worth the extra pesos for if he had taken us into traffic as I have seen it; it might have been far more frustrating. We certainly did not think of the latter guy as a crook.
Safety is a concern I would have. The Jeepney’s tend to stop or even roll to a slow pace so the passenger can get on or off. On the tricycles, if one is confronted by a large truck or even one of the many minivans or SUVs there would be no chance for the tricycle passengers. Personally, I enjoy the tricycle mode of transport. One can feel like a king or queen, riding in the seat on your own, being powered along by a driver. It is a feeling I never get in a taxi. The tricycles go slow enough that any accident is not going to be serious unless the Trike comes into a conflict with a large vehicle. Mind you, I have only been on one pedi-trike, the rest all being motorcycle driven. Again, I would add some pollution controls to the law books to force the operators to keep their vehicles in good repair.
Clearly the Jeepney’s are open and there are no seat belts. I wonder at their safety record. Perhaps it is these slow vehicles which keep the highway and roadway death toll low since their speed is not fast and they keep other vehicles from speeding. On the other hand, I saw some pretty dangerous attempts to pass these slow vehicles on the long-distance bus to Baguio, Olongapo, and back.
Another observation about Philippine culture. The Pinoy is typically interested in music. There are karaoke bars all over the place. The songs are on VCD (Video Compact Disc) with the music and pretty pictures and people sing along to these songs.
The malls have atriums and often there is a musical event occurring. Great crowds of people line up at the railings to watch and listen. Oh, the music here is inspirational. Security at these mall events includes dogs to sniff bombs.
Moreover, they love their musicians. The musicians are highly regarded and often have their own TV programs. They identify the pictures of a popular musician who appears on a magazine cover or on TV; the individual singers are given the adulation of a Michael Jackson or a Madonna even though they do not have the international recognition. If they have made it in the US that fact is played up extensively.
Finally, it is impossible to tell time from the local clocks. They are all set several minutes (usually 10 or more) fast. I asked Arnold about that and discovered that it is so they will be on time but for most things they are late any way. There is an expression “Philippine time” just like in Toronto they call it “gay time”. Last year when I was here, I quickly learned that you line up to wait and wait and wait. It can be very frustrating to people used to more scheduled items.
Feb. 16, 2005
Week 6:
The big thing which happened during this week was a trip to Baguio. To put this into perspective, we had considered NOT going to Baguio because when I came to the Philippines, there were cases of a Meningitis-like disease which was killing people. Tourism in the area dropped to zero almost. However, as we listened to the news, the warnings were lifted by public health officials with no new cases and we alos became aware that those affected did not catch it in public places.
Arnold had some work he could do there and wanted to meet with people to make arrangements.
We rose early Wednewday and were on the bus bound for Baguio at 7:30. The bus was due to leave at 8:00 but pulled out early – the first time I have ever seen that in the Philippines.The bus ride was interesting. It was an air conditioned bus without any comfort room aboard. It stopped twice for washroom and eats breaks in the seven hours it took to get to Baguio. I do not know how I can do justice to a description of what I saw.
There was corn (in various stages to just sprouting to fully tasseled) and fruit trees. Typically, the highway was narrow with many obstacles such as Jeepneys and tricycles along the way. The ride got to be long although I had anticipated it would be one hour longer. We got off the bus and into a taxi and headed up Session Street. Arnold had us stop in front of Hotel Le Breau, which was a bit odd. One walked up a flight of stairs, took an elevator up to the fourth floor and our room assigned was one more floor up which we had to climb.
We went to an interesting place for dinner. The place had excellent realistic woodcarvings of people, including security guards spaced around the entrance area.
We went to Chow King for snack, sat in the Internet café briefly, and then took off in a taxi to search for a gay bar we had heard of. We did not find it and settled on staying downtown. As we stopped at the room, Arnold saw the guy at the desk watching video of the rooms, and he saw our room being reviewed. We walked along Session Street and found Le Fondue, which had a balcony on the second floor so we could sit outside and sip our drinks.
The first musician was excellent and he seemed to play tunes that I really liked. Being outside, the music was not as loud as if we were inside but it was still very much part of the atmosphere. We managed to stay until after midnight and we then went back to Chow King on the way to our hotel and went to sleep.
The first thing we did Thursday was check out of Le Breau and move to Prime Hotel about two blocks away. The cost was more but included breakfast and there was consistent hot water. We met at the mall. He did not have to go back to his work right away and so he showed me a new café at the mall, which was better, and same price as one I had been at.
Arnold went off to work and we got together for lunch and dinner. In the meantime, I had bought some new shoes – the ones I had been wearing had developed a horrible sweat smell. I put my shoes in the box and started to wear the new shoes with sport socks. I also bought powder for the old shoes and for my feet.
We did visit the Mines Park which has a beautiful view of the valleys around. In doing so, we passed a number of beautiful homes which Arnold says would go for about 1,000,000 pesos which is cheap for a Canadian. On the way back into town we stopped by the Mansion , which was the summer home of the Marcos family. Across the way is a wonderful park, with plenty of horseback riding. However, we did not try the latter since it was close to getting dark.
Thursday night, we again headed off in a taxi looking for the two gay bars in Baguio. We finally came to one called Male Box. We went in but it was way out in the country. Finally as the dancers started to get ready, one guy came over and sat next to me. He was aggressive and wanted a drink. I thought one would not hurt. Then his friend came and sat next to Arnold. They were pesky and finally we decided to get out of there. The bar charged six times the cost of our beers for their beers and wiped us out of our money. We were lucky we quit when we did. There was no credit card, we were out in the country, and we had just enough for a taxi back to town. As we were leaving, the guy who had been pestering me had the nerve to ask for some money for food. He had eaten some of our appetizer already. We had some sharp feelings that night. The aggressive nature of the dancers, the money, and our own drink made us highly vulnerable to our feelings.
Arnold had to go off to work again Friday and I headed up to the mall walking this time. We met for lunch at the mall and wandered around. I ended up buying a pair of sport socks, a beautiful shirt in wine colour before heading back to the Internet Cafe to finish my work. However, I had sat down only a few minutes when I heard firecrackers. Then Arnold phoned to say he was finished meeting the people he needed to meet and there were festivities outside.
I signed off and went outside to try to find Arnold. After several text messages we were able to meet and watch a parade. The parade was partly for the flower festival, partly for welcoming summer (which here, they consider to be starting in March), and partly Chinese New Year.
For dinner, we went back to Le Fondue. The guy I liked playing music earlier in the week was on and he welcomed us back to the place. We sat at the same table outside and had Long Island Ice Tea or Zombies. There were three music players who rotated. The one who was on when we first got there played songs that we liked. The second one had a lot of soul (feeling) in his music and neither of us were very interested in the third player.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Week Five:
The Internet Café in Puerto Princesa is quite a bit cheaper and has much better facilities that at Glorietta Mall and so I stayed quite a bit later. I went back to the room and went to the front bar, had a beer and ordered a small pizza, which they make very very well. I then read the paper and some in my book and went to sleep. I did not find anything on TV of real interest.
Sunday turned out to be like other days that Arnold was teaching. It was all too short. Arnold was close to 9 a.m. when he got back and not anxious to eat. Thus he tried to go to sleep. When he could not we went out to breakfast. We then went back to the room to try to get him rested. I was so rested I could not sleep either so the two of us did some talking but basically, the day went by really quickly.
We went into town together and I headed to the NCCC and bank before going into the Internet Café. This time, I stayed late before heading back to the room. Again, I went out and had a San Miguel and some food before turning in, thinking this was the last night I would be alone.
Arnold did arrive back at the room at around 6:30. Monday was supposed to be a day when we had an opportunity to relax. We knew Arnold had to go back to evaluate the student projects but basically we knew he was finished teaching. We had breakfast fairly early and went for a swim prior to going into the room to relax. Since we knew now we were going back on Wednesday, I walked down to the Philippine Airlines and got the tickets fixed for Wednesday (the third time I had been in to change tickets but hopefully the last).
Arnold wanted to see more of the construction and do some of the evaluation and since we assumed he would be home for a late dinner (like about 11), he went off. I went downtown yet again and bought a paper and stuff and then went to the Café.
Tuesday started with us having an early breakfast again. I had a 9 a.m. conference call and had loaded my telephone with 600 pesos (plus what I already had on it). However, it ran out of load before the call was over. The room we had was less than $20.00 Canadian a night. The meals for the time we were there came to about $75.00, which considering it covered two people over 8 days is exceptionally good. That included the beers, the Long Island Iced Tea, and the drinks we had the night Arlene and Ernesto joined us for drinks.
Arnold went in the afternoon to say good bye to his family. I finished the book which was called Guilty Abroad (a Mark Twain mystery in the Sherlock Holmes genre). I read outdoors since I wanted to be out of the room so they would make it up. Then, when Arnold got back, we hired a tricycle and went to see Christian, the German man who sponsors parties for the gay youth of Puerto Princesa. We talked to several young people who lived in a building on the hill and found out Christian was away until Saturday.
I saw Holy Trinity College, the Puerto Princesa Cathedral (Immaculate Conception) and other sites as we rode around on the tricycle..
When we got back to the hotel we went to dinner in the restaurant and talked – probably the best talk we have ever had. The students kept interrupting Arnold begging for his help and eventually he gave in and said he would go from 11 to 1.
Arnold shared with me that his mouth was sore with four canker sores. I fear the last few days of no sleep have reduced his immune system. He has complained that he was going to get pimples too but they did not develop. He says he gets them when he has tension and that the tension around the family has been severe while we were in Puerto Princesa.
Our trip home was not that exciting. We had a huge number of groceries to buy and I did some few things at the Internet café. I was able to print a copy of the Divorce Petition, which is all-important. We did go to the Pharmacy and bought something for Arnold’s mouth. He danced quite literally when he put it on but noticed the swelling go down quickly. He applied it again after brushing his teeth as he was going to bed.
I think coming back to Manila was a let down for me. I felt very down about a lot of things.
.
On Thursday, before I got very far at the Internet Café, the internet connection went down and I waited while they tried to fix it. I had already waited and tried to do different things before it became obvious that there was no connection.I paid my fee, and they (Creativity Lounge) would not give me ANY credit for the time I waited. I know it is of no consequence in the grand scheme of funds BUT it is NOT the first time they have failed to correct a bill. One time Arnold had gone elsewhere before coming to the café (Creativity Lounge) and left before I did and yet they charged him the full time they did me (probably about 25 minutes at 1 peso a minute). For me, it is the principle of them consistently overcharging. We went and found another café in a building just across the street and there the price is half what it is in the mall and the machines and seating arrangement are significantly better. It also looks like there will be a new café opening up in our neighbourhood soon and that will make it much easier as it still costs about 120 pesos to get to and from the Glorietta Mall.
Also on Thursday, Arnold went out looking for a Notary Public in our neighbourhood. He met up with Michael, the fellow who wants a Canadian partner who came back to the apartment with him. Michael joined us for dinner and we talked. I showed him the pictures of Palawan, Boracay, and then Gilbert arrived. Finally, Ver and Lance arrived and so I was pressed into showing the pictures over again so I also showed the pictures of the Philippines on my first visit as well. The fellows left about 10 p.m. and so Arnold and I watched Hangman. It was a strange but not terrible movie. We then put West Side Story on but soon found we were too tired and so retired at about midnight.
Friday was a fairly ordinary day. The day started by trying to find a Notary Public. I got the Divorce Affidavit notarized and sent the copy off to Kitchener by Federal Express. The latter cost a huge amount compared to everything else around here. It feels good to have that off.
One thing, which struck me, was the free entertainment at Megamall. I had suggested we go there, as I knew some VCDs I wanted that I had only seen there. We also wanted to see a movie but when we got there, the movie was two hours in the future. Thus, we started to walk the mall when we came across some display going on at the main level – we were two levels up. Arnold said he liked this better than a movie and four hours later he decided he had seen enough. There was a competition between schools in cheerleading. They were very very good once the competition started.
I found it hard to be on my feet standing still for that long so I walked the mall and found out more about the mall. The last two nights we have had videos entitled “The World’s Most Amazing Videos” which have been awesome.
The weeks I write about here start on Saturday since that was the day on which I arrived. On Jan 22, we had bought a paper and listened to the news as well because there was a faire late Friday (Day 21) at Station 3 on Boracay. 15 businesses were destroyed, and one tourist said he lost his air tickets, his passport, and his pants in the fire. It appareantely destroyed a couple of resorts as well as market stalls. The pictures are quite spectacular. The palms burned too. There was only one fire truck on the island and so many tourists formed a chain to use ocean water in pails to help douse the flames. The rest of Saturday went by quickly. The fellows across the way called us and asked us over at about midnight but we were home by 1.
The big news this week was our visit to Puerto Princesa in the Province of Palawan, an Island east of Luzon, the latter the Island on which Manila sits. On Tuesday, we were up and ready to go. Our flight was at 9:15, which meant we were supposed to be there at 7:15 minimum but they told us to be there by 6:00. Knowing the Philippine ability to tell time, we knew it would be safe to be a little late and so we were there at 6:10.
We had agreed the chief purpose for visiting was for Arnold to talk with Ernesto as big brother (Kuya). He went as soon as we had had lunch and met first with Arlene and Arnold. We were supposed to have dinner tonight but Arnold phoned and said he had arranged a more major meeting between his older siblings and Arlene and Ernesto. The result was that I did not see Arnold again until near 11. Then, we went to the front bar at the hotel and sat down to a beer when he got a phone text message saying there was an emergency so at midnight he set off on the trike to see his family again, promising to be back in an hour. I went to bed as he had the key and so could not leave the room. At 4, I awakened in a panic not knowing where Arnold was.
I went to sleep again but not peacefully until he came home shortly after 6. It turned out they had been drinking brandy with beer chasers. He had fallen asleep sitting up. My text messages and the phone ringing (when I tried to find out if he was OK at 4) were not sufficient to awaken him although Arlene heard them.
By Wednesday, we had already determined that we needed an extra day so we had gone and paid the fee to change our tickets to Friday instead of Thursday. We made arrangements for Arlene and Ernesto to meet us at a (Swiss) German restaurant. After, the four of us went back to Moana and had a couple of rounds of drinks before Ernesto started to feel sick and so Arlene and Ernesto headed back home. It was my first meeting with any of the family. It seemed to me that Ernesto appeared scared when we met. Arlene was more at ease but neither spoke English much. By the time we took pictures back at Moana, Ernesto was smirking if not a complete smile.
I was fascinated by the look Arlene gave my ring. The day before Elvie, Arnold’s oldest sister had noticed Arnold’s ring and commented on him being engaged. He had not revealed to her his being gay so he continued to let her think what she might. Arlene, knowing Arnold is gay figured things out, although not much was said. Ernesto was not that observant but he also knowing Arnold is gay seemed to accept that Arnold was with me.
Thursday was the most wonderful day we could ever imagine. The day started out with beautiful blue sky and hot sun. Messages started to flow early. We were going to head to Honda Bay for some Island Hopping, a picnic, and some swimming. Our trike driver for the day was to be Arnold’s brother-in-law (money would flow to him instead of to a stranger). Elvie cooks chickens and sells them in the evenings and she arranged for us to have chicken that early in the morning to take with us.
We heard they were on their way to pick us up and so we went outside to wait and found out they had stopped at Mark’s place. Mark had a flat in the same building where Arnold lived. He had written to me in late summer last year as Arnold had told him about me so I had promised to contact him when in town. However, I did not have any means other than email and I knew he did not read those every day or even every week.
Well, when they arrived to pick us up, Amir was there as was a friend of Ernesto and Amir whose name I never got. Mark was there too. Thus there were seven of us doing the half-hour ride out to Honda Bay. The one on the motorcycle, two on the back of the motorcycle, two on seat facing forward in the little cab and two facing back. It seemed impossible as I rode around later in the week that we had been on the National Highway loaded down like that.
The day was hot but the breeze was wonderful too. We arrived at Honda Bay, paid for a boat to show us the Islands and to end up at Snake Island. It is named Snake because of its shape, not because it has snakes inhabiting the island. It took us about an hour a gently wavy but relatively calm sea before arriving at our destination. The jigger was labeled for six people so Arnold had to sign a waiver to take the seventh person. The boatman was kind to this old guy – I just do not walk on a log about 4 inches in diameter regularly so I really feel off balance. Walking frontward down a ladder, even four rungs is not easy for me any more, if it ever was. Indeed, my first cub hike ended with me being embarrassed as the only cub to end up getting a soaker when I could not make it across the log they put across a creek. I do not think my parents were ever told how much of a klutz their son really was.
The sand on Snake Island was fine but unlike Boracay, there were pebbles here every once in a while and tiny little stones. There were picnic huts built on the beach and we took the last one available. That provides shelter and there is a constant breeze. I have sent pictures to my group and if anyone else wants to see them they need only ask.
They had two chickens BBQed and chopped into smaller pieces ( a wonderful treat). They also had three tuna with their eyes staring right off the plate (I later watched Arnold eat a fish and the eye apparently is a delicacy).
After eating, and passing the cup around, someone pulled out the brandy. They cut the coke bottle up and used it to put coke in. Thus, one had a couple of shooters of brandy straight followed by a chaser of coke. It was cooling but the Philippine way is to pass the same glass or cup around.
We then went swimming. Arnold bought bread and so the schools of fish swarmed around us. They would come up to the surface and pull the bread into their mouths. Pictures do not tell the story. There were a couple of other guys who had snorkels and so Arnold and Mark tried that, as did Arlene later.
Back to the mainland (an Island itself) and back on the trike to the city. Then, Arnold went to visit his family while I went to the Internet Café.
We were expecting to head back to Manila Friday morning and were enjoying a late night drink when two teachers from where Arnold had been head of the Computing Department (Palawan Technological College) said they wanted to get together. It was already midnight. We agreed to meet at a Karaoke Bar and Mark whom I had met earlier in the day was with the two female teachers. We sang – they even got me to sing an ABBA song with the Mike but Jenn was kind enough to help me.
They told Arnold that the President of the College wanted to get hold of him since he had heard Arnold was back in town. Arnold took Jane home and then Jenn said he was too far gone to go back to the hotel and put him up on her couch – another night when I worried about him. He came back to the hotel about 6 or shortly after, saying they had left coffee next t the couch so that wen he woke up there was something for him.
Early Friday monring, I walked over to Philippine Airlines to change our tickets yet again. This time we had to pay a no show fee since it was too late to cancel our reservation for that day but that was the only fee to get an open ticket.
Arnold went Friday to see the President of the College. He agreed to start teaching that night and the President gave him an advance of 3,000 pesos. He was to start at 5:30 so we sat down and had dinner and he went off to teach. I went back to the café, did some banking and went to the NCCC mall where I bought a paper. I figured he would be home around 11, which is what I had been told. At 1, when he was still not back, I texted him and he said wait until 6. I went back to sleep and woke up about 7 but he did not get back to the hotel until about 8:30. No students in Canada would stay overnight at class to learn. It is so foreign to me.
Now the start of a new week.
posted by DJ @ 12:42 PM 0 comments
Monday, January 24, 2005
The Third Week:
The third week has been exciting as we managed to travel. On Monday, the alarm went off at 6 and we were up and ready to go shortly. We had a breakfast, showered, and finished what few things there were to pack before heading over to EDSA to take a cab to the airport. The cabby despite rush hour took us a different route and got us there in short order.
Asian Spirit was quite pleasant. The plane was a small propeller plane which flew from Manila to Caticlan. At Caticlan, we had to register at the airport and then Arnold met Joseph, an employee of the Ministry of Tourism. Joseph showed him a book of places on Boracay and when I joined then we settled on a cheaper place than they had been looking at but something I thought looked quite nice. Joseph, then grabbed our stuff and started us towards a tricycle where he took us to the shore, took our money, bought us tickets across to Boracay, and paid for our terminal fee and waited while we registered again for Boracay. He then helped us onto the boat and took us right to Jony’s place. Because of high season, they charged us more than the book had indicated but they gave us a package with saved us several thousand pesos and included breakfasts and transfer back to the plane. They also upgraded our room one level.
Let me digress a bit. Caticlan is a town about the size of St. Agatha (for those who live near Kitchener) – a small rural community which had at one time some stores and businesses but which now is close enough to a bigger city and remains a residence for people who commute. Caticlan is still the community too far for anyone to commute but is a small rural community of that size. None of the roads are paved in Caticlan.
To get onto the boat, one has to load onto a flat-bottomed rowboat that they push out to one of the boats that are popular here in the Philippines (jigger boat). One transfers on a gangplank onto the jigger boat that may hold 40 people. I happened to sit right over a hole in the hull on the jigger boat we crossed on so every once in a while a wave would come up through the hole.
The jigger boat stops along the beach in Boracay – they pole it in as shallow as they can, let the gang plank down and the workers carry luggage off on their heads. The passengers walk off the gang plank into the sea – in my case, my shorts were already wet through and the bottom of my shorts were in the sea when we got off (I tried holding them up). My right sandal came off just as I got to shore and of course they were wet and now full of sand.
Boracay [boar-ah’-chi (said as the math term)] is an island which everyone who told me about the Philippines told me I should visit. When we left the apartment at 7:00 plus, it was sunny and pleasant. By the time we got onto the plane the sun had gone and there were a few clouds. By the time we were making the boat trip across to Boracay, the rain was coming down but only lightly.
The wonder of the island Boracay is impossible to describe. It has a few peaks, a road running the 7 kms. length. We stayed close to Boat Station #1, which is at the northern end of the white beach. The sand is called white but is the traditional light brown. Stones are almost non-existent. The consistency of the sand is like icing sugar. It packs beautifully but is soft – very different than regular white sugar, which is granular.
I can not describe the wonderful feeling of eating the first meal of the morning looking out on the sea, with various types of craft moving about. I ordered an American breakfast of scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, butter, jam, and fruit (banana) and coffee. Arnold ordered the Filipino breakfast that substituted the toast for rice and the bacon for a pork item. He chose tea and pineapple juice instead of fruit and coffee.
The mall was a bunch of outdoor stalls with fish, vegetables, and various smells. We found the bank but there was no ATM that would take a PLUS card. We found an Internet Café and used it before heading to a different bank. The hotel would not accept credit cards without an 8% charge so I had to collect pesos out of my account. After making a withdrawal, we took the tricycle to Station #3 so we could buy our airplane tickets back to Manila. We started to walk back, decided we wanted to eat so I had a cheese and ham and egg sandwich while Arnold had a chicken soup which was full of noodles and all.
We continued to walk. There was a packed-sand walkway with booths both sides with souvenirs – I looked for post cards and film and Arnold needed some decongestant. We reached the mall and bought what we needed (I had found post cards at the post office, which was along the pathway). I decided if I were going to withdraw enough money I would visit the bank again. We then walked the rest of the way back to the hotel. The sun was out most of our walk and I finally started to tan.
That evening we had BBQ chicken on our balcony twice with cans of beer. It cost us about 400 pesos (less than $10.00) instead of the more than $1,000 pesos we had spent the night before. We talked and talked and Arnold seemed to appreciate that I was concerned enough to suggest we visit and he agreed that being big brother was an excellent idea. Thus we almost determined we would go to Puerto Princesa the following week.
We did at one point go out to Pier 1, had one Long Island Iced Tea and played one game of 9 ball billiards (which I won ironically as Arnold is MUCH better at the game than he).
We went to the Internet Café and to the bank before heading down to Station #3 and having lunch and walking back to the Mall. By the time we got to the mall I was not feeling that well so I told Arnold I wanted to take a tricycle back from the mall to the hotel which is what we did.
We went swimming for our second major swim. This time we beat the tide coming in. I built a sand castle on what would be the highest point once the tide came in and we watched as the tide came in – oh how majestic!
We finished swimming and showering (in the shower, we could set a small little instrument to heat the water coming through to the shower head to our desired temperature. I guess you get used to the colder water for I found I did not want it too hot – although somewhat hotter than cold). I went down and paid the hotel while Arnold went out to buy some more BBQ chicken and beer. Oh, how peaceful and how wonderful that balcony when it rains. It gives us privacy to talk and it gives us freedom to spend less and enjoy it more than if we went out to someplace.
Arnold has learned to talk to me. I think he was used to holding things to himself. I know I was at his age. He appreciates that I understand about Ernesto and Arlene – although I will be the first to admit that I do not fully understand. There are seven children by the mother and father in this family and each had children in prior marriages. Arnold seems to have been selected by the family to be the one to be leaned on and he has a huge helpful heart. The tradition here is for BIG brother to be given a place of honour and he is BIG brother to Ernesto and Arlene came between the two in birth order. It seems Arnold’s older siblings do not take their role seriously. Arnold arranged his parent’s funerals and paid for them. The older sisters do house Ernesto and Arlene but they do not seem to include them in the food or anything else.
Our talks have managed to make me understand Arnold’s background much more. He does not like talking about the fall from grace that the family experienced when he was in high school.
Arnold Torrecer made it when it comes to being part of the family. That can be curse and blessing. He was valedictorian in high school and won a coveted scholarship to Holy Trinity College (a Dominican College). Out of 1500 applicants he was interviewed and selected to try a test which he came first in and that scholarship paid for his tuition and living while he did his studies. He also was hired at age 19 to teach computing at a college in Puerto Princesa by one of his professors. Much was expected of him. He said his mother hugged and kissed him and told him how proud she was of him when he won the scholarship.
On the day of our return to Manila, I had been awake at 5 feeling sick but unable to vomit. I had gone back to sleep and felt OK when we went to breakfast. Yet, on the plane back to Manila, I developed a pain in my lower abdomen. I had other symptoms that worried me and felt no desire for food. We were going to take a bus back to our place but when I felt the way I did I suggested we walk out of the airport and get a taxi on the street which is what we did,
I took medication for stomach upset (homeopathic) and wanted to lie down but I knew I had to go to the bank so we went to Glorietta Mall and I sat and had a bottle of water (I had already consumed one at the apartment. We went back to the apartment as Arnold had a school chum meeting him for dinner (I was supposed to go but did not feel up to it). I took an aspirin and a mild muscle relaxant and went to sleep and then texted Arnold when I woke up. My symptoms were gone.
His friend suggested we go out so I joined them – we went to Alexandria and Red Banana in Malate and I had water both places. I also had a tuna melt as I felt I should eat something but did not want to tempt fate. The ride home – we went with the friend to where his friend was staying was long and hard and I was not feeling great by the time we got home so I went right to bed.
I woke up Friday feeling wonderful. I can not believe the contrast. I have no symptoms – the pain, the stomach problem and all other symptoms have gone.
We went to the mall and I discovered that I had to do some work on the laptop and go back to the Internet café later. We did quite a bit of grocery sopping for things we needed. Thus, we came back to the apartment and Arnold fixed lunch while I worked and then went back to the café where I submitted my questions for an oral examination for Saturday morning. I bought load for my phone so I could call Minneapolis.
Boracay is paradise. One of the most wonderful aspects of it is the lack of Americans making it a place of tranquility. I could recommend it to anyone. However, they better be prepared for some adventure.
posted by DJ @ 1:14 PM 0 comments
Sunday, January 16, 2005
I have been here a week now and am starting the second week. It gets easier each day. There were a couple of big events this week but the first was the Saturday evening, the first day f the second week.
The party started at 7 and there is so much to tell about it. The three fellows who live across from us are Arnold, Gilbert, and Ver. The fourth (Rommel) is in Saudi Arabia right now. Each has a boyfriend. Lance is Ver’s boyfriend and they really make a sweet couple. Lance has applied to move to Portland Oregon and Ver will follow. Lance’s birthday is January 10 and here you put on your own birthday party. People bring foods to some small degree but most the stuff is fixed by oneself. The fellows have another friend Kevin who was also born January 10, 1977. Thus Kevin was celebrating his birthday as well.
The party was held on the roof (with a great deal of laundry hanging around in various places. It was probably about 22 or 23 degrees. Some of them were complaining about it being cold but I loved the breeze and the temperature.
I counted 14 people but there were three who showed up after midnight so that would make 17. One was Rommel’s boyfriend, another Michael.
The food was delicious - we sat around and ate. There was spaghetti, macaroni salads, pork BBQ, Chicken BBQ, rice dishes, and soda pop.
After a while they get into a circle and beer is poured into a glass. The birthday person chugs the glass down and the glass is refilled for the next person and so on. They say it bonds the people there although it would have been a no-no during SARS in Toronto. The huge bottles of beer (probably 2 litre) are consumed the rest of the evening passing the glass around – the birthday people filling it each time.
With that number of people it is difficult to get drunk although it is surprising how much one consumes the few times it gets to you. They offered me a personal glass if I did not want to join their tradition but I said I wanted to be part of their tradition.
Many of the guys are weaker at English than Arnold. Lance, large Arnold, Michael, and a couple others are excellent but quite a bit of the jovial joking was done in tagalog. I followed a little from intonations and body language. I know that Arnold was looked up to for having me there.
Arnold Torrecer is very much a fun guy at a party. He is jovial, makes cracks and picks up on language and can make language jokes. It is funny but the people I have related to best in my life have had that skill – Lucille had it when we married but lost it or at least stopped using it. Bob had such a wonderful way with words. Alexander liked playing with words too. Now I find Arnold has the same skill that I had not seen last year.
Two of the guys wanted to know if I knew any Canadians like me who would be comfortable with the Philippine culture, be caring, and eventually be partners. Michael was the first and I must say he is a cutie with a wonderful smile, friendly and has excellent social skills. I do not understand how he ended up at the party alone. He insisted that I have his email so he could meet guys. I am going to tell him to post on the Toronto LYC website but I also thought of one guy who is a rice queen to whom I am going to send Michael’s picture. If anyone knows of someone, please let me know, as there are others here who would like to know North Americans.
It gave Arnold and I an opportunity to talk about why Philippine men want to be lighter skinned (they even buy whitening soap for gosh sakes) and North American men want to tan and why they are attracted to each other. I said it did not matter as much as the spark between two people.
I pointed out the airline example that John Crim gave to me last year. The Asian airlines all hire young pretty males and females who want to serve while the North American airlines with their union rules and seniority have old fogies who treat the passenger as an interference. I am old enough to remember when Air Canada was Trans Canada Airlines and hired only registered nurses who were let go at age 35 because it was felt that in emergency situations the young able-bodied nurse would be better able to handle things.
We hopped a taxi and got to this wonderfully beautiful church on Sunday Mass had started but only a few minutes before. People were standing outside as well as inside. Loudspeakers conveyed the sermon outdoors but we managed to stand inside in a side aisle. I cried as I heard the songs of Christmas being sung in English – beautiful voices singing them. The sermon was good and clear and the communion not so different than at my home church despite the different denomination.
Sunday, I did my first laundry. Doing laundry is an experience. We use the tub in the bathroom where we scoop water for showering and flushing the toilet. One does the laundry by hand. Kneeling or hunching down so as not to get wet. I am amazed at how clean things get that way. The laundry then goes up to the roof to hang to dry and of course that freshens it too.
Sunday turns out to have been a very full day. We met Stephen Abad’s mother and cousins for dinner at Gerry’s Grill. Stephen’s mother was at the hair saloon the last time I had my hair done and Stephen introduced us. She seems like a very pleasant and wonderfully friendly person and while his cousins had not met Arnold or I, they and Arnold conversed in tagalog.
Arnold and I decided to head to Malate to Red Banana. We got there and it was closed so we walked two blocks to another place where we had been for Long Island Iced Tea early in the week. We had two drinks there – an Alexander was one that we both had. We then walked back to Red Banana but it was still closed and so we hopped a taxi back to the apartment.
One event that I ought to relate is the fact the taxi driver on the way to Malate Sunday evening got stopped by the police for turning right (there was a sign excluding right turns certain times of the day but I thought he was outside the times. Anyway, they talked in tagalog and he was told either his license or 100 pesos so he handed them each his license with the pesos underneath. They had their ticket books with zippers on them, unzipped, looked at the tickets, slipped the 100 pesos into the book and zipped it up. I am most upset by such activity. We gave the taxi driver a tip (unusual here) and he seemed most thankful.
One is not going to get the police to be respected if they ask for bribes. It seems to me that I am on my moral pulpit right now but bribery is a way of life in this country and it destroys the ability of the country to be effective in business. In Toronto, the police who were involved in bribery were arrested and suspended from the police force and while the sums were much larger the principle is the same.
Monday, about mid-day, I suddenly became extremely tired and stuffy and feeling unwell. I slept two hours but awakened feeling sicker than when I started the nap. Arnold fixed me some soup that was delicious and I asked him to go out and get some soda and beer for us to have cold drinks. He fixed me coffee, which was also appreciated. I was coughing, sneezing, and feeling quite miserable. We watched The Greatest Story Ever Told and then watched some TV in tagalog which I was able to follow mostly or which Arnold was able to fill me in on when I could not follow.
The rest of the week was routine. We went out several evenings –we saw two movies and we went to Gigolos and Red Banana. My cold lingered but after Monday it was more a cough than anything else. I am adjusting to sleeping later and going to bed later. The movies here cost 100 pesos at most, which is less then $2.20 Canadian and we can buy VCDs for 75 pesos. Thus even when we do not go out, we can see a wonderful movie at the apartment at less than half the price of going out to the movie theatre. I also have come to realize that the Filipino movie stars are revered here. Estrada who was their previous President and Poe who ran last May for President were both movie stars and are held in extremely high regard.
My biggest concern this week was the money. I had budgeted for the trip and even though things seem cheap here, some unexpected expenses have interfered with the budgeting. It really worried me on Friday but when I get past worrying about it, I begin to realize the fears are not always well-based.
On Friday as well, my lawyer sent me a separation agreement that I downloaded onto my memory stick and read at the apartment. I have some questions about it since it seemed to forget some of the things in our offer to settle. I will be sending my comments back to my lawyer and see what happens.
Best wishes from Manila for another week.
posted by DJ @ 12:01 PM 0 comments
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Week One: January 1 to January 7
The plane from Hong Kong arrived about an hour late. Arnold G Torrecer was there waiting for me. Despite the late plane, I was still with Arnold by New Years Eve midnight back home even though it was a sunny mid-day here. Beggars wanting money and actually asking for specific amounts pestered us at the airport which made the airport experience less than happy. The cab back to the hotel was also very expensive. Arnold had gotten to the airport at 9 pesos but they charged us 1000 pesos. Nothing we could do about it.
Actually, I found the trip harder than last April. The flight from Toronto to Hong Kong seemed extra long. It was crowded – I do not think there was an empty seat. The toilets were cleaned regularly but still tended to be a mess and occupied all the time. I slept about 8 hours in small little episodes. Cathay Pacific is excellent – why can’t other airlines be as good?
On the second day, we made the journey to Malibay where the apartment is. I was shocked at my first impression. It was not at all as I had imagined it. Arnold though had done a great job of cleaning it up and organizing it. It is tiny, very secure, and very elementary. The bed is a very comfortable mattress on the floor – takes up wall to wall with room at the foot of the bed. The comfort room is wet. The toilet is flushed by using a scoop. The shower uses the same scoop to pour water over oneself. The kitchen looks well stocked and I like Arnold’s taste in the few decorations there are.
To try to describe the apartment is almost impossible. One enters a walkway from F Cruz and at the back on the left is a gate, which is kept, locked. One walks through a patio area between apartments, which face each other. At the back is a set of steps which goes up between two buildings – the steps are narrow – so narrow it is difficult to get a suitcase up them. As you come to the third level, you turn right and there is another gate to a balcony, which fronts three apartments. Ours is right in front of the gate. Across in the other building is an apartment identical only reverse to ours, which is occupied by four young gay men.
As I look out our front door – to the right is a space between the two buildings. I can see skyline and trees looking in both directions. If you look in from the front door you are looking through our living room, dining area to the kitchen along the back wall. I would guess it is at most 6 feet wide and 15 to 18 feet long. Off to the right (if looking from the front door are two doors – one to the bedroom and one to the comfort room. The Comfort Room must be 6 feet x 6 feet and the bedroom would then be 9 to 12 feet x 6 feet. The bed just fits between the two walls with room at the base to put some things down.
Arnold took me in a taxi to a mall where they have nothing but stall after stall of cell phones. We found a slightly used Noikia for me, which I am using. Nothing fancy. I have to load the SIM card regularly with money but it seems to work. The number is 011-63-919-300-4874.
Tuesday was moving day from the hotel to the apartment. After noting what needs we had, we set out for the Internet Café again and this time we also bought a refrigerator for the apartment and got a ride back to the apartment with the delivery people. It is just a small apartment sized fridge but it assists us with having cold water/soda/juice and keeping some e-coli from getting into our food.
On Tuesday night I also met some of the neighbours for the first time. After dinner – which we had rather late, we invited the fellows across the way over for beer but only two came – one who lives there, Ver and his boyfriend, Lance. Lance was staying over so there were five staying in that space overnight. I can not fathom what it must be like. Lance and Ver stayed until after 1:30 a.m.
On both Wednesday and Thursday mornings I had Capella teleconference calls. On both I got cut off before it was done but the Thursday conference was far more successful than Wednesday as it was almost completed. We explored various evening bars – going to two near Glorietta Mall one night and to Red Banana another night. The days were spent at the internet café (it seems I have a great deal more work to keep in touch with than I expected), shopping for groceries, etc.
On Thursday night got back to the apartment at about 12:30 and Arnold decided he wanted some soda so he left me and went off to buy soda. After he made his purchase, some hoodlums hit him with ice on the back of the neck (he has the mark to show for it) and that knocked him down and they ran off with his cell phone. He ran after them and I was really worried as he took a long time getting back to the apartment. He did not catch the criminals and came back to the apartment to cry it out.
On, Friday, I had to read and evaluate four comprehensive papers for a Cappella student. That took most of my hour and a half on the computer. I had little time to engage in reading email or such.
Part of the reason for that was that I had finally gotten hold of Louie. Louie is a friend of Sid Beaudoin and I had carried three items with me to give to Louie for Sid. We were to meet at 1 p.m. at a restaurant. He came with his cousin and her boyfriend – I was surprised to have a group but he himself was extremely nice, shy, and obviously nervous. I gave him the things, took a few pictures, and then his cousin and her boyfriend suggested leaving Louie with us while they went to do some things. Louie was not really up to that but he and Arnold talked in Tagalog quite fluently about visiting his home city perhaps as soon as next week. We then messaged each other confirming that we would like to get together again.
After lunch Arnold and I went to Greenhills Mall and Megamall. We picked up a second-hand cell for Arnold 011-63-921-482-5964, which is an alternate for me, so ought to be recorded. We also went to see Ocean’s Twelve. I had seen it in Toronto but Arnold really wanted to see it. I was surprised at how much I got out of it the second time. It was like a whole new movie. The theatre was full for a late afternoon movie.
I am getting used to having a partial shower frequently – some days three or four times when one steps into the comfort room, it is easy to throw some water on oneself and soap up and dry oneself off. It actually is refreshing and ensures cleanliness. It is particularly so since if one goes into the bathroom at all there is already water on the floor always (cement under linoleum). Thus if one goes in there one disrobes at least partially before doing so.
Also, I failed to mention that after one has scooped the water into the toilet, one sprinkles disinfectant into the toilet. It is actually much cleaner than it sounds to us with our experience of fancy washrooms.
It has been a wonderful week. Hard to believe it is one week since I boarded the plane in Toronto. The send-off by Alexander Ingliswas moving. The meeting with Meghal Pandya was also very moving and very comforting. Ernest Brown had been more than kind, sending me off with a can of Chicken and Rice soup as my charm – I laughed and laughed at that.
The transformation from winter to Hong Kong where the temperature was the lowest the pilot had ever landed in Hong Kong at (6 degrees) to the temperature in Manila at 30 degrees as we were landing was a pleasant change.
It is with some feelings of anxiety that I got off the plane and waited for my luggage. I could not remember where the outside area to meet up was. A guard phoned Arnold and we found out where to meet. I was so happy to see him although we were inundated by employees pestering us for money. It seemed we could not even greet each other.
That impression of arrival at the airport is one that will not leave me. It bodes poorly for tourism in the Philippines. No tourist wants to be treated as a handout. I am all for helping the poor and there is more poverty here than in other countries I have visited BUT there is a way to help these people.
Another impression that has been very strong so far has been the one which I have had that I am greeted and treated with respect when the Filipino is NOT. I do not like that. I am not special. For example, while we waited for the refrigerator deliveryman to arrive at the store to take the fridge and us to our apartment, the supervisor brought a stool for me to sit on. I am not an invalid. I am honoured that they seem to like my business but I am affronted by the open discrimination.
When we enter a mall, I am checked much less than the Filipino. Indeed, the laxity with which I am checked is alarming and compared to last year makes me wonder what is going on. They always say “Good Morning Sir” to me but say nothing to Arnold.
A further impression which I have some feelings about is that which comes from the traffic. It is very scary. For some reason, I do not remember the traffic being so pushy and so tight as it is here this year. There are few lanes painted on the streets and even if there were it would be my guess that nobody would follow them anyway.
The more I move about in taxi, the more I find a distaste for it. Mind you the taxi makes sense economically. The ride to Glorietta Mall is at least the distance of six miles and it costs about a dollar depending on traffic. The Jeepney is cheaper but no Jeepney goes into the Mall area itself. Also, on Jeepneys one can get robbed much easier. The MRT (Metro) involves a Jeepney ride to get to the nearest station.
I have never found being a passenger thrilling. I always was a nervous rider. I try to anticipate moves as a driver and feel quite comfortable driving. It is an odd day when I feel good about someone else’s driving whether it is in my car or someone else’s. I guess that is what is really coming out in me.
My feelings about the apartment are quite positive. I like it. It is tiny but I will remember it forever. It is attached to Arnold and quite frankly, I like him and so I feel it is good. I do not like cockroaches but spraying daily seems to keep them dead – they show up dead sometimes and I have only seen two in the week.
I have some difficulty with the younger generation liking more action/violent movies. My most vivid memory of growing up was how I hated the Second World War movies and the Cowboy and Indian movies that were the Saturday matinee fare at the movie theatre near Pilette Road. Why I went to see them, I will never know but it turned me off war and violence forever. Perhaps I was already able to see life not as a macho man who needed to fight in order to prove manhood.
The first movie was quite a good one despite the violence as good (God) defeated bad (Satan) but there were violent things that really were unnecessary. As I write this, I am watching another one that has no violence in the first half and I hope none at all.
The prices are weird. I feel as if I am going through money like it is water. Yet, when I look at how little it costs, I think about what it would have cost back home. I get so mixed up about money – I want to put the brakes on spending but then I do not want to do without either.
It is difficult to think in terms of pesos (46 to the dollar). The fridge cost less than many cell phones around here, yet I think of the fridge as a huge investment. I am not sure sometimes whether my thinking about NOT buying comes from the fact the price is in the thousands of pesos or whether it is my own inhibitions about spending money period.
Another impression that I have been carrying with me is how helpless I feel when on my own. It is funny with Arnold being so much younger but I depend on him. I am still not comfortable walking around the apartment area and do not have keys yet so can’t go places until I do have keys. Mostly, I am OK when left at the apartment. When I text Arnold at the mall (a very confusing mall which is really 5 malls attached to each other) and do not hear back, I worry as I have no ability to find my way around or back to the apartment. I now know how to direct a cab driver here – Malibay (via Edsa Rd), Rodriquez Road before the 7/11, and then left on F. Cruz. I even have some sense now as to how far along F Cruz before we get out of the cab although the gate in the wall is practically no different than others.
Text messages are one peso each and can be used to find each other easily. No wonder this is a country of cell phones. Pretty well everyone has one and they are the most common item to be stolen. We just would not be able to survive without a cell phone each.
Feb. 17, 2005
Some More Thoughts and Feelings:
People ask me about safety in the Philippines. Generally, I think it is safer than what outsiders are led to believe. There is trouble in Moro with Muslims and Communists stirring up trouble to get Moro to separate. Occasionally, when they get frustrated at too much government activity against them, they hit out at civilian targets as they did February 14, 2005 and just over a year ago with a superferry.
The biggest problem I see is poverty that leads to small robbery to get food. Cell phones, pockets, and small items which are easy to convert to cash at a pawn shop are fair game for that type of activity. When on the MRT for instance, I either wear my money in an inside the pants wallet or I put it in one pocket and keep my hand in the pocket.
There are other aspects that might not meet the safety standards of Canada or England. I think of safety belt laws. I also think of legislation, which ensures that vehicles are well-maintained. Laws to inspect the road-worthiness of vehicles, including tires.
I mentioned several weeks ago that I am a very poor passenger in an automobile. Perhaps it is because of the experiences I have had – the few accidents I have been in have been as a passenger mostly. I also remember always that Ralph Moore was killed in a taxi accident in Newfoundland.
Well, my thoughts about the traffic here in Manila are scary. I get in some of the taxis and feel as if I am at an amusement park on dodgem cars (which I enjoy by the way). Here, I do not feel like I am in control of the car nor do I have the protection of the rubber bumpers of the dodgem cars.
The taxis are mostly Toyota and Honda but there are some Mitsubishi and a few Kia vehicles. They are mostly painted white with black lettering hand painted on the side. There are no seat belts for anyone but the driver.
Some of the taxis are in terrible repair and even worse are full of old Kleenex and other trappings of prior riders. On more than one occasion I have been in a cab which stopped and needed some coaxing to get it going again. Other cabs run noisy or uneven as if they have never been cared for. Often those drivers are also the ones who drive like maniacs. There are a few well-kept, better-working vehicles. Those drivers tend towards courtesy and legal driving.
The buses here are from different private companies. Some are in poor repair as can be seen by bald tires and terrible pollution emanating from them. They stop in the middle of the road without warning, angle themselves in to the curb so they block three or four lanes of traffic, etc. They honk their horns a great deal. If I were doing some development planning, I would probably rationalize the bus system and I would start by requiring the bus companies to meet certain safety and clean-air standards.
Yet, I have asked Arnold on several occasions why we can’t take the bus to Makati to the mall. He has always told me it was unsafe. Well, that was proven by the recent bombing (Feb. 14) of a bus running along EDSA, at Ayala which is the road we take to go to the mall that is at the Ayala intersection. Now, I am glad he has been looking out for me. The TV news in Tagalog is vivid as we look at pictures since I feel close to what has happened. He was more worried about robbers than bombers but buses are not protected in the same way as some other means of transport. To get on the MRT here, bags are inspected and one is felt up and down.
The long-distance buses are labeled as air-conditioned or not – they seem in better repair. The schedule is adhered to much better than most Philippine-time things. The problem is that arrival times are not as closely adhered to as the drivers and conductors permit people to disembark anywhere and everywhere.
I have not been in a Jeepney on this trip, except in Olongapo. That presumably is safer than in Manila. Both Arnold and Rod told me that one is more likely to be robbed or accosted on this mode of transportation. It is true that the taxi is cheaper for the two of us than one fare on the Toronto subway so it makes sense. However, on Saturday past, the cab driver took us an alternate route, which was jammed with traffic. It took us three times longer to get to our destination than normal and cost us an extra 30 peso (about 60 cents). I was fuming by the time we got there, as the guy’s air conditioning was not working either. Arnold told him as he paid him that he was a crook. Going home that same day, the cab driver told us when we got into the cab that the traffic between Makati and Malibay was very bad and he asked permission to take us an alternate route. Arnold gave permission and there was only about two minutes of traffic all the way home, unlike the traffic in. It cost us about 15 pesos more. But, I felt so good in that we had been asked for our choice; we had been told the situation. We had had a smooth and quite acceptable ride that was worth the extra pesos for if he had taken us into traffic as I have seen it; it might have been far more frustrating. We certainly did not think of the latter guy as a crook.
Safety is a concern I would have. The Jeepney’s tend to stop or even roll to a slow pace so the passenger can get on or off. On the tricycles, if one is confronted by a large truck or even one of the many minivans or SUVs there would be no chance for the tricycle passengers. Personally, I enjoy the tricycle mode of transport. One can feel like a king or queen, riding in the seat on your own, being powered along by a driver. It is a feeling I never get in a taxi. The tricycles go slow enough that any accident is not going to be serious unless the Trike comes into a conflict with a large vehicle. Mind you, I have only been on one pedi-trike, the rest all being motorcycle driven. Again, I would add some pollution controls to the law books to force the operators to keep their vehicles in good repair.
Clearly the Jeepney’s are open and there are no seat belts. I wonder at their safety record. Perhaps it is these slow vehicles which keep the highway and roadway death toll low since their speed is not fast and they keep other vehicles from speeding. On the other hand, I saw some pretty dangerous attempts to pass these slow vehicles on the long-distance bus to Baguio, Olongapo, and back.
Another observation about Philippine culture. The Pinoy is typically interested in music. There are karaoke bars all over the place. The songs are on VCD (Video Compact Disc) with the music and pretty pictures and people sing along to these songs.
The malls have atriums and often there is a musical event occurring. Great crowds of people line up at the railings to watch and listen. Oh, the music here is inspirational. Security at these mall events includes dogs to sniff bombs.
Moreover, they love their musicians. The musicians are highly regarded and often have their own TV programs. They identify the pictures of a popular musician who appears on a magazine cover or on TV; the individual singers are given the adulation of a Michael Jackson or a Madonna even though they do not have the international recognition. If they have made it in the US that fact is played up extensively.
Finally, it is impossible to tell time from the local clocks. They are all set several minutes (usually 10 or more) fast. I asked Arnold about that and discovered that it is so they will be on time but for most things they are late any way. There is an expression “Philippine time” just like in Toronto they call it “gay time”. Last year when I was here, I quickly learned that you line up to wait and wait and wait. It can be very frustrating to people used to more scheduled items.
Feb. 16, 2005
Week 6:
The big thing which happened during this week was a trip to Baguio. To put this into perspective, we had considered NOT going to Baguio because when I came to the Philippines, there were cases of a Meningitis-like disease which was killing people. Tourism in the area dropped to zero almost. However, as we listened to the news, the warnings were lifted by public health officials with no new cases and we alos became aware that those affected did not catch it in public places.
Arnold had some work he could do there and wanted to meet with people to make arrangements.
We rose early Wednewday and were on the bus bound for Baguio at 7:30. The bus was due to leave at 8:00 but pulled out early – the first time I have ever seen that in the Philippines.The bus ride was interesting. It was an air conditioned bus without any comfort room aboard. It stopped twice for washroom and eats breaks in the seven hours it took to get to Baguio. I do not know how I can do justice to a description of what I saw.
There was corn (in various stages to just sprouting to fully tasseled) and fruit trees. Typically, the highway was narrow with many obstacles such as Jeepneys and tricycles along the way. The ride got to be long although I had anticipated it would be one hour longer. We got off the bus and into a taxi and headed up Session Street. Arnold had us stop in front of Hotel Le Breau, which was a bit odd. One walked up a flight of stairs, took an elevator up to the fourth floor and our room assigned was one more floor up which we had to climb.
We went to an interesting place for dinner. The place had excellent realistic woodcarvings of people, including security guards spaced around the entrance area.
We went to Chow King for snack, sat in the Internet café briefly, and then took off in a taxi to search for a gay bar we had heard of. We did not find it and settled on staying downtown. As we stopped at the room, Arnold saw the guy at the desk watching video of the rooms, and he saw our room being reviewed. We walked along Session Street and found Le Fondue, which had a balcony on the second floor so we could sit outside and sip our drinks.
The first musician was excellent and he seemed to play tunes that I really liked. Being outside, the music was not as loud as if we were inside but it was still very much part of the atmosphere. We managed to stay until after midnight and we then went back to Chow King on the way to our hotel and went to sleep.
The first thing we did Thursday was check out of Le Breau and move to Prime Hotel about two blocks away. The cost was more but included breakfast and there was consistent hot water. We met at the mall. He did not have to go back to his work right away and so he showed me a new café at the mall, which was better, and same price as one I had been at.
Arnold went off to work and we got together for lunch and dinner. In the meantime, I had bought some new shoes – the ones I had been wearing had developed a horrible sweat smell. I put my shoes in the box and started to wear the new shoes with sport socks. I also bought powder for the old shoes and for my feet.
We did visit the Mines Park which has a beautiful view of the valleys around. In doing so, we passed a number of beautiful homes which Arnold says would go for about 1,000,000 pesos which is cheap for a Canadian. On the way back into town we stopped by the Mansion , which was the summer home of the Marcos family. Across the way is a wonderful park, with plenty of horseback riding. However, we did not try the latter since it was close to getting dark.
Thursday night, we again headed off in a taxi looking for the two gay bars in Baguio. We finally came to one called Male Box. We went in but it was way out in the country. Finally as the dancers started to get ready, one guy came over and sat next to me. He was aggressive and wanted a drink. I thought one would not hurt. Then his friend came and sat next to Arnold. They were pesky and finally we decided to get out of there. The bar charged six times the cost of our beers for their beers and wiped us out of our money. We were lucky we quit when we did. There was no credit card, we were out in the country, and we had just enough for a taxi back to town. As we were leaving, the guy who had been pestering me had the nerve to ask for some money for food. He had eaten some of our appetizer already. We had some sharp feelings that night. The aggressive nature of the dancers, the money, and our own drink made us highly vulnerable to our feelings.
Arnold had to go off to work again Friday and I headed up to the mall walking this time. We met for lunch at the mall and wandered around. I ended up buying a pair of sport socks, a beautiful shirt in wine colour before heading back to the Internet Cafe to finish my work. However, I had sat down only a few minutes when I heard firecrackers. Then Arnold phoned to say he was finished meeting the people he needed to meet and there were festivities outside.
I signed off and went outside to try to find Arnold. After several text messages we were able to meet and watch a parade. The parade was partly for the flower festival, partly for welcoming summer (which here, they consider to be starting in March), and partly Chinese New Year.
For dinner, we went back to Le Fondue. The guy I liked playing music earlier in the week was on and he welcomed us back to the place. We sat at the same table outside and had Long Island Ice Tea or Zombies. There were three music players who rotated. The one who was on when we first got there played songs that we liked. The second one had a lot of soul (feeling) in his music and neither of us were very interested in the third player.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Week Five:
The Internet Café in Puerto Princesa is quite a bit cheaper and has much better facilities that at Glorietta Mall and so I stayed quite a bit later. I went back to the room and went to the front bar, had a beer and ordered a small pizza, which they make very very well. I then read the paper and some in my book and went to sleep. I did not find anything on TV of real interest.
Sunday turned out to be like other days that Arnold was teaching. It was all too short. Arnold was close to 9 a.m. when he got back and not anxious to eat. Thus he tried to go to sleep. When he could not we went out to breakfast. We then went back to the room to try to get him rested. I was so rested I could not sleep either so the two of us did some talking but basically, the day went by really quickly.
We went into town together and I headed to the NCCC and bank before going into the Internet Café. This time, I stayed late before heading back to the room. Again, I went out and had a San Miguel and some food before turning in, thinking this was the last night I would be alone.
Arnold did arrive back at the room at around 6:30. Monday was supposed to be a day when we had an opportunity to relax. We knew Arnold had to go back to evaluate the student projects but basically we knew he was finished teaching. We had breakfast fairly early and went for a swim prior to going into the room to relax. Since we knew now we were going back on Wednesday, I walked down to the Philippine Airlines and got the tickets fixed for Wednesday (the third time I had been in to change tickets but hopefully the last).
Arnold wanted to see more of the construction and do some of the evaluation and since we assumed he would be home for a late dinner (like about 11), he went off. I went downtown yet again and bought a paper and stuff and then went to the Café.
Tuesday started with us having an early breakfast again. I had a 9 a.m. conference call and had loaded my telephone with 600 pesos (plus what I already had on it). However, it ran out of load before the call was over. The room we had was less than $20.00 Canadian a night. The meals for the time we were there came to about $75.00, which considering it covered two people over 8 days is exceptionally good. That included the beers, the Long Island Iced Tea, and the drinks we had the night Arlene and Ernesto joined us for drinks.
Arnold went in the afternoon to say good bye to his family. I finished the book which was called Guilty Abroad (a Mark Twain mystery in the Sherlock Holmes genre). I read outdoors since I wanted to be out of the room so they would make it up. Then, when Arnold got back, we hired a tricycle and went to see Christian, the German man who sponsors parties for the gay youth of Puerto Princesa. We talked to several young people who lived in a building on the hill and found out Christian was away until Saturday.
I saw Holy Trinity College, the Puerto Princesa Cathedral (Immaculate Conception) and other sites as we rode around on the tricycle..
When we got back to the hotel we went to dinner in the restaurant and talked – probably the best talk we have ever had. The students kept interrupting Arnold begging for his help and eventually he gave in and said he would go from 11 to 1.
Arnold shared with me that his mouth was sore with four canker sores. I fear the last few days of no sleep have reduced his immune system. He has complained that he was going to get pimples too but they did not develop. He says he gets them when he has tension and that the tension around the family has been severe while we were in Puerto Princesa.
Our trip home was not that exciting. We had a huge number of groceries to buy and I did some few things at the Internet café. I was able to print a copy of the Divorce Petition, which is all-important. We did go to the Pharmacy and bought something for Arnold’s mouth. He danced quite literally when he put it on but noticed the swelling go down quickly. He applied it again after brushing his teeth as he was going to bed.
I think coming back to Manila was a let down for me. I felt very down about a lot of things.
.
On Thursday, before I got very far at the Internet Café, the internet connection went down and I waited while they tried to fix it. I had already waited and tried to do different things before it became obvious that there was no connection.I paid my fee, and they (Creativity Lounge) would not give me ANY credit for the time I waited. I know it is of no consequence in the grand scheme of funds BUT it is NOT the first time they have failed to correct a bill. One time Arnold had gone elsewhere before coming to the café (Creativity Lounge) and left before I did and yet they charged him the full time they did me (probably about 25 minutes at 1 peso a minute). For me, it is the principle of them consistently overcharging. We went and found another café in a building just across the street and there the price is half what it is in the mall and the machines and seating arrangement are significantly better. It also looks like there will be a new café opening up in our neighbourhood soon and that will make it much easier as it still costs about 120 pesos to get to and from the Glorietta Mall.
Also on Thursday, Arnold went out looking for a Notary Public in our neighbourhood. He met up with Michael, the fellow who wants a Canadian partner who came back to the apartment with him. Michael joined us for dinner and we talked. I showed him the pictures of Palawan, Boracay, and then Gilbert arrived. Finally, Ver and Lance arrived and so I was pressed into showing the pictures over again so I also showed the pictures of the Philippines on my first visit as well. The fellows left about 10 p.m. and so Arnold and I watched Hangman. It was a strange but not terrible movie. We then put West Side Story on but soon found we were too tired and so retired at about midnight.
Friday was a fairly ordinary day. The day started by trying to find a Notary Public. I got the Divorce Affidavit notarized and sent the copy off to Kitchener by Federal Express. The latter cost a huge amount compared to everything else around here. It feels good to have that off.
One thing, which struck me, was the free entertainment at Megamall. I had suggested we go there, as I knew some VCDs I wanted that I had only seen there. We also wanted to see a movie but when we got there, the movie was two hours in the future. Thus, we started to walk the mall when we came across some display going on at the main level – we were two levels up. Arnold said he liked this better than a movie and four hours later he decided he had seen enough. There was a competition between schools in cheerleading. They were very very good once the competition started.
I found it hard to be on my feet standing still for that long so I walked the mall and found out more about the mall. The last two nights we have had videos entitled “The World’s Most Amazing Videos” which have been awesome.
The weeks I write about here start on Saturday since that was the day on which I arrived. On Jan 22, we had bought a paper and listened to the news as well because there was a faire late Friday (Day 21) at Station 3 on Boracay. 15 businesses were destroyed, and one tourist said he lost his air tickets, his passport, and his pants in the fire. It appareantely destroyed a couple of resorts as well as market stalls. The pictures are quite spectacular. The palms burned too. There was only one fire truck on the island and so many tourists formed a chain to use ocean water in pails to help douse the flames. The rest of Saturday went by quickly. The fellows across the way called us and asked us over at about midnight but we were home by 1.
The big news this week was our visit to Puerto Princesa in the Province of Palawan, an Island east of Luzon, the latter the Island on which Manila sits. On Tuesday, we were up and ready to go. Our flight was at 9:15, which meant we were supposed to be there at 7:15 minimum but they told us to be there by 6:00. Knowing the Philippine ability to tell time, we knew it would be safe to be a little late and so we were there at 6:10.
We had agreed the chief purpose for visiting was for Arnold to talk with Ernesto as big brother (Kuya). He went as soon as we had had lunch and met first with Arlene and Arnold. We were supposed to have dinner tonight but Arnold phoned and said he had arranged a more major meeting between his older siblings and Arlene and Ernesto. The result was that I did not see Arnold again until near 11. Then, we went to the front bar at the hotel and sat down to a beer when he got a phone text message saying there was an emergency so at midnight he set off on the trike to see his family again, promising to be back in an hour. I went to bed as he had the key and so could not leave the room. At 4, I awakened in a panic not knowing where Arnold was.
I went to sleep again but not peacefully until he came home shortly after 6. It turned out they had been drinking brandy with beer chasers. He had fallen asleep sitting up. My text messages and the phone ringing (when I tried to find out if he was OK at 4) were not sufficient to awaken him although Arlene heard them.
By Wednesday, we had already determined that we needed an extra day so we had gone and paid the fee to change our tickets to Friday instead of Thursday. We made arrangements for Arlene and Ernesto to meet us at a (Swiss) German restaurant. After, the four of us went back to Moana and had a couple of rounds of drinks before Ernesto started to feel sick and so Arlene and Ernesto headed back home. It was my first meeting with any of the family. It seemed to me that Ernesto appeared scared when we met. Arlene was more at ease but neither spoke English much. By the time we took pictures back at Moana, Ernesto was smirking if not a complete smile.
I was fascinated by the look Arlene gave my ring. The day before Elvie, Arnold’s oldest sister had noticed Arnold’s ring and commented on him being engaged. He had not revealed to her his being gay so he continued to let her think what she might. Arlene, knowing Arnold is gay figured things out, although not much was said. Ernesto was not that observant but he also knowing Arnold is gay seemed to accept that Arnold was with me.
Thursday was the most wonderful day we could ever imagine. The day started out with beautiful blue sky and hot sun. Messages started to flow early. We were going to head to Honda Bay for some Island Hopping, a picnic, and some swimming. Our trike driver for the day was to be Arnold’s brother-in-law (money would flow to him instead of to a stranger). Elvie cooks chickens and sells them in the evenings and she arranged for us to have chicken that early in the morning to take with us.
We heard they were on their way to pick us up and so we went outside to wait and found out they had stopped at Mark’s place. Mark had a flat in the same building where Arnold lived. He had written to me in late summer last year as Arnold had told him about me so I had promised to contact him when in town. However, I did not have any means other than email and I knew he did not read those every day or even every week.
Well, when they arrived to pick us up, Amir was there as was a friend of Ernesto and Amir whose name I never got. Mark was there too. Thus there were seven of us doing the half-hour ride out to Honda Bay. The one on the motorcycle, two on the back of the motorcycle, two on seat facing forward in the little cab and two facing back. It seemed impossible as I rode around later in the week that we had been on the National Highway loaded down like that.
The day was hot but the breeze was wonderful too. We arrived at Honda Bay, paid for a boat to show us the Islands and to end up at Snake Island. It is named Snake because of its shape, not because it has snakes inhabiting the island. It took us about an hour a gently wavy but relatively calm sea before arriving at our destination. The jigger was labeled for six people so Arnold had to sign a waiver to take the seventh person. The boatman was kind to this old guy – I just do not walk on a log about 4 inches in diameter regularly so I really feel off balance. Walking frontward down a ladder, even four rungs is not easy for me any more, if it ever was. Indeed, my first cub hike ended with me being embarrassed as the only cub to end up getting a soaker when I could not make it across the log they put across a creek. I do not think my parents were ever told how much of a klutz their son really was.
The sand on Snake Island was fine but unlike Boracay, there were pebbles here every once in a while and tiny little stones. There were picnic huts built on the beach and we took the last one available. That provides shelter and there is a constant breeze. I have sent pictures to my group and if anyone else wants to see them they need only ask.
They had two chickens BBQed and chopped into smaller pieces ( a wonderful treat). They also had three tuna with their eyes staring right off the plate (I later watched Arnold eat a fish and the eye apparently is a delicacy).
After eating, and passing the cup around, someone pulled out the brandy. They cut the coke bottle up and used it to put coke in. Thus, one had a couple of shooters of brandy straight followed by a chaser of coke. It was cooling but the Philippine way is to pass the same glass or cup around.
We then went swimming. Arnold bought bread and so the schools of fish swarmed around us. They would come up to the surface and pull the bread into their mouths. Pictures do not tell the story. There were a couple of other guys who had snorkels and so Arnold and Mark tried that, as did Arlene later.
Back to the mainland (an Island itself) and back on the trike to the city. Then, Arnold went to visit his family while I went to the Internet Café.
We were expecting to head back to Manila Friday morning and were enjoying a late night drink when two teachers from where Arnold had been head of the Computing Department (Palawan Technological College) said they wanted to get together. It was already midnight. We agreed to meet at a Karaoke Bar and Mark whom I had met earlier in the day was with the two female teachers. We sang – they even got me to sing an ABBA song with the Mike but Jenn was kind enough to help me.
They told Arnold that the President of the College wanted to get hold of him since he had heard Arnold was back in town. Arnold took Jane home and then Jenn said he was too far gone to go back to the hotel and put him up on her couch – another night when I worried about him. He came back to the hotel about 6 or shortly after, saying they had left coffee next t the couch so that wen he woke up there was something for him.
Early Friday monring, I walked over to Philippine Airlines to change our tickets yet again. This time we had to pay a no show fee since it was too late to cancel our reservation for that day but that was the only fee to get an open ticket.
Arnold went Friday to see the President of the College. He agreed to start teaching that night and the President gave him an advance of 3,000 pesos. He was to start at 5:30 so we sat down and had dinner and he went off to teach. I went back to the café, did some banking and went to the NCCC mall where I bought a paper. I figured he would be home around 11, which is what I had been told. At 1, when he was still not back, I texted him and he said wait until 6. I went back to sleep and woke up about 7 but he did not get back to the hotel until about 8:30. No students in Canada would stay overnight at class to learn. It is so foreign to me.
Now the start of a new week.
posted by DJ @ 12:42 PM 0 comments
Monday, January 24, 2005
The Third Week:
The third week has been exciting as we managed to travel. On Monday, the alarm went off at 6 and we were up and ready to go shortly. We had a breakfast, showered, and finished what few things there were to pack before heading over to EDSA to take a cab to the airport. The cabby despite rush hour took us a different route and got us there in short order.
Asian Spirit was quite pleasant. The plane was a small propeller plane which flew from Manila to Caticlan. At Caticlan, we had to register at the airport and then Arnold met Joseph, an employee of the Ministry of Tourism. Joseph showed him a book of places on Boracay and when I joined then we settled on a cheaper place than they had been looking at but something I thought looked quite nice. Joseph, then grabbed our stuff and started us towards a tricycle where he took us to the shore, took our money, bought us tickets across to Boracay, and paid for our terminal fee and waited while we registered again for Boracay. He then helped us onto the boat and took us right to Jony’s place. Because of high season, they charged us more than the book had indicated but they gave us a package with saved us several thousand pesos and included breakfasts and transfer back to the plane. They also upgraded our room one level.
Let me digress a bit. Caticlan is a town about the size of St. Agatha (for those who live near Kitchener) – a small rural community which had at one time some stores and businesses but which now is close enough to a bigger city and remains a residence for people who commute. Caticlan is still the community too far for anyone to commute but is a small rural community of that size. None of the roads are paved in Caticlan.
To get onto the boat, one has to load onto a flat-bottomed rowboat that they push out to one of the boats that are popular here in the Philippines (jigger boat). One transfers on a gangplank onto the jigger boat that may hold 40 people. I happened to sit right over a hole in the hull on the jigger boat we crossed on so every once in a while a wave would come up through the hole.
The jigger boat stops along the beach in Boracay – they pole it in as shallow as they can, let the gang plank down and the workers carry luggage off on their heads. The passengers walk off the gang plank into the sea – in my case, my shorts were already wet through and the bottom of my shorts were in the sea when we got off (I tried holding them up). My right sandal came off just as I got to shore and of course they were wet and now full of sand.
Boracay [boar-ah’-chi (said as the math term)] is an island which everyone who told me about the Philippines told me I should visit. When we left the apartment at 7:00 plus, it was sunny and pleasant. By the time we got onto the plane the sun had gone and there were a few clouds. By the time we were making the boat trip across to Boracay, the rain was coming down but only lightly.
The wonder of the island Boracay is impossible to describe. It has a few peaks, a road running the 7 kms. length. We stayed close to Boat Station #1, which is at the northern end of the white beach. The sand is called white but is the traditional light brown. Stones are almost non-existent. The consistency of the sand is like icing sugar. It packs beautifully but is soft – very different than regular white sugar, which is granular.
I can not describe the wonderful feeling of eating the first meal of the morning looking out on the sea, with various types of craft moving about. I ordered an American breakfast of scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, butter, jam, and fruit (banana) and coffee. Arnold ordered the Filipino breakfast that substituted the toast for rice and the bacon for a pork item. He chose tea and pineapple juice instead of fruit and coffee.
The mall was a bunch of outdoor stalls with fish, vegetables, and various smells. We found the bank but there was no ATM that would take a PLUS card. We found an Internet Café and used it before heading to a different bank. The hotel would not accept credit cards without an 8% charge so I had to collect pesos out of my account. After making a withdrawal, we took the tricycle to Station #3 so we could buy our airplane tickets back to Manila. We started to walk back, decided we wanted to eat so I had a cheese and ham and egg sandwich while Arnold had a chicken soup which was full of noodles and all.
We continued to walk. There was a packed-sand walkway with booths both sides with souvenirs – I looked for post cards and film and Arnold needed some decongestant. We reached the mall and bought what we needed (I had found post cards at the post office, which was along the pathway). I decided if I were going to withdraw enough money I would visit the bank again. We then walked the rest of the way back to the hotel. The sun was out most of our walk and I finally started to tan.
That evening we had BBQ chicken on our balcony twice with cans of beer. It cost us about 400 pesos (less than $10.00) instead of the more than $1,000 pesos we had spent the night before. We talked and talked and Arnold seemed to appreciate that I was concerned enough to suggest we visit and he agreed that being big brother was an excellent idea. Thus we almost determined we would go to Puerto Princesa the following week.
We did at one point go out to Pier 1, had one Long Island Iced Tea and played one game of 9 ball billiards (which I won ironically as Arnold is MUCH better at the game than he).
We went to the Internet Café and to the bank before heading down to Station #3 and having lunch and walking back to the Mall. By the time we got to the mall I was not feeling that well so I told Arnold I wanted to take a tricycle back from the mall to the hotel which is what we did.
We went swimming for our second major swim. This time we beat the tide coming in. I built a sand castle on what would be the highest point once the tide came in and we watched as the tide came in – oh how majestic!
We finished swimming and showering (in the shower, we could set a small little instrument to heat the water coming through to the shower head to our desired temperature. I guess you get used to the colder water for I found I did not want it too hot – although somewhat hotter than cold). I went down and paid the hotel while Arnold went out to buy some more BBQ chicken and beer. Oh, how peaceful and how wonderful that balcony when it rains. It gives us privacy to talk and it gives us freedom to spend less and enjoy it more than if we went out to someplace.
Arnold has learned to talk to me. I think he was used to holding things to himself. I know I was at his age. He appreciates that I understand about Ernesto and Arlene – although I will be the first to admit that I do not fully understand. There are seven children by the mother and father in this family and each had children in prior marriages. Arnold seems to have been selected by the family to be the one to be leaned on and he has a huge helpful heart. The tradition here is for BIG brother to be given a place of honour and he is BIG brother to Ernesto and Arlene came between the two in birth order. It seems Arnold’s older siblings do not take their role seriously. Arnold arranged his parent’s funerals and paid for them. The older sisters do house Ernesto and Arlene but they do not seem to include them in the food or anything else.
Our talks have managed to make me understand Arnold’s background much more. He does not like talking about the fall from grace that the family experienced when he was in high school.
Arnold Torrecer made it when it comes to being part of the family. That can be curse and blessing. He was valedictorian in high school and won a coveted scholarship to Holy Trinity College (a Dominican College). Out of 1500 applicants he was interviewed and selected to try a test which he came first in and that scholarship paid for his tuition and living while he did his studies. He also was hired at age 19 to teach computing at a college in Puerto Princesa by one of his professors. Much was expected of him. He said his mother hugged and kissed him and told him how proud she was of him when he won the scholarship.
On the day of our return to Manila, I had been awake at 5 feeling sick but unable to vomit. I had gone back to sleep and felt OK when we went to breakfast. Yet, on the plane back to Manila, I developed a pain in my lower abdomen. I had other symptoms that worried me and felt no desire for food. We were going to take a bus back to our place but when I felt the way I did I suggested we walk out of the airport and get a taxi on the street which is what we did,
I took medication for stomach upset (homeopathic) and wanted to lie down but I knew I had to go to the bank so we went to Glorietta Mall and I sat and had a bottle of water (I had already consumed one at the apartment. We went back to the apartment as Arnold had a school chum meeting him for dinner (I was supposed to go but did not feel up to it). I took an aspirin and a mild muscle relaxant and went to sleep and then texted Arnold when I woke up. My symptoms were gone.
His friend suggested we go out so I joined them – we went to Alexandria and Red Banana in Malate and I had water both places. I also had a tuna melt as I felt I should eat something but did not want to tempt fate. The ride home – we went with the friend to where his friend was staying was long and hard and I was not feeling great by the time we got home so I went right to bed.
I woke up Friday feeling wonderful. I can not believe the contrast. I have no symptoms – the pain, the stomach problem and all other symptoms have gone.
We went to the mall and I discovered that I had to do some work on the laptop and go back to the Internet café later. We did quite a bit of grocery sopping for things we needed. Thus, we came back to the apartment and Arnold fixed lunch while I worked and then went back to the café where I submitted my questions for an oral examination for Saturday morning. I bought load for my phone so I could call Minneapolis.
Boracay is paradise. One of the most wonderful aspects of it is the lack of Americans making it a place of tranquility. I could recommend it to anyone. However, they better be prepared for some adventure.
posted by DJ @ 1:14 PM 0 comments
Sunday, January 16, 2005
I have been here a week now and am starting the second week. It gets easier each day. There were a couple of big events this week but the first was the Saturday evening, the first day f the second week.
The party started at 7 and there is so much to tell about it. The three fellows who live across from us are Arnold, Gilbert, and Ver. The fourth (Rommel) is in Saudi Arabia right now. Each has a boyfriend. Lance is Ver’s boyfriend and they really make a sweet couple. Lance has applied to move to Portland Oregon and Ver will follow. Lance’s birthday is January 10 and here you put on your own birthday party. People bring foods to some small degree but most the stuff is fixed by oneself. The fellows have another friend Kevin who was also born January 10, 1977. Thus Kevin was celebrating his birthday as well.
The party was held on the roof (with a great deal of laundry hanging around in various places. It was probably about 22 or 23 degrees. Some of them were complaining about it being cold but I loved the breeze and the temperature.
I counted 14 people but there were three who showed up after midnight so that would make 17. One was Rommel’s boyfriend, another Michael.
The food was delicious - we sat around and ate. There was spaghetti, macaroni salads, pork BBQ, Chicken BBQ, rice dishes, and soda pop.
After a while they get into a circle and beer is poured into a glass. The birthday person chugs the glass down and the glass is refilled for the next person and so on. They say it bonds the people there although it would have been a no-no during SARS in Toronto. The huge bottles of beer (probably 2 litre) are consumed the rest of the evening passing the glass around – the birthday people filling it each time.
With that number of people it is difficult to get drunk although it is surprising how much one consumes the few times it gets to you. They offered me a personal glass if I did not want to join their tradition but I said I wanted to be part of their tradition.
Many of the guys are weaker at English than Arnold. Lance, large Arnold, Michael, and a couple others are excellent but quite a bit of the jovial joking was done in tagalog. I followed a little from intonations and body language. I know that Arnold was looked up to for having me there.
Arnold Torrecer is very much a fun guy at a party. He is jovial, makes cracks and picks up on language and can make language jokes. It is funny but the people I have related to best in my life have had that skill – Lucille had it when we married but lost it or at least stopped using it. Bob had such a wonderful way with words. Alexander liked playing with words too. Now I find Arnold has the same skill that I had not seen last year.
Two of the guys wanted to know if I knew any Canadians like me who would be comfortable with the Philippine culture, be caring, and eventually be partners. Michael was the first and I must say he is a cutie with a wonderful smile, friendly and has excellent social skills. I do not understand how he ended up at the party alone. He insisted that I have his email so he could meet guys. I am going to tell him to post on the Toronto LYC website but I also thought of one guy who is a rice queen to whom I am going to send Michael’s picture. If anyone knows of someone, please let me know, as there are others here who would like to know North Americans.
It gave Arnold and I an opportunity to talk about why Philippine men want to be lighter skinned (they even buy whitening soap for gosh sakes) and North American men want to tan and why they are attracted to each other. I said it did not matter as much as the spark between two people.
I pointed out the airline example that John Crim gave to me last year. The Asian airlines all hire young pretty males and females who want to serve while the North American airlines with their union rules and seniority have old fogies who treat the passenger as an interference. I am old enough to remember when Air Canada was Trans Canada Airlines and hired only registered nurses who were let go at age 35 because it was felt that in emergency situations the young able-bodied nurse would be better able to handle things.
We hopped a taxi and got to this wonderfully beautiful church on Sunday Mass had started but only a few minutes before. People were standing outside as well as inside. Loudspeakers conveyed the sermon outdoors but we managed to stand inside in a side aisle. I cried as I heard the songs of Christmas being sung in English – beautiful voices singing them. The sermon was good and clear and the communion not so different than at my home church despite the different denomination.
Sunday, I did my first laundry. Doing laundry is an experience. We use the tub in the bathroom where we scoop water for showering and flushing the toilet. One does the laundry by hand. Kneeling or hunching down so as not to get wet. I am amazed at how clean things get that way. The laundry then goes up to the roof to hang to dry and of course that freshens it too.
Sunday turns out to have been a very full day. We met Stephen Abad’s mother and cousins for dinner at Gerry’s Grill. Stephen’s mother was at the hair saloon the last time I had my hair done and Stephen introduced us. She seems like a very pleasant and wonderfully friendly person and while his cousins had not met Arnold or I, they and Arnold conversed in tagalog.
Arnold and I decided to head to Malate to Red Banana. We got there and it was closed so we walked two blocks to another place where we had been for Long Island Iced Tea early in the week. We had two drinks there – an Alexander was one that we both had. We then walked back to Red Banana but it was still closed and so we hopped a taxi back to the apartment.
One event that I ought to relate is the fact the taxi driver on the way to Malate Sunday evening got stopped by the police for turning right (there was a sign excluding right turns certain times of the day but I thought he was outside the times. Anyway, they talked in tagalog and he was told either his license or 100 pesos so he handed them each his license with the pesos underneath. They had their ticket books with zippers on them, unzipped, looked at the tickets, slipped the 100 pesos into the book and zipped it up. I am most upset by such activity. We gave the taxi driver a tip (unusual here) and he seemed most thankful.
One is not going to get the police to be respected if they ask for bribes. It seems to me that I am on my moral pulpit right now but bribery is a way of life in this country and it destroys the ability of the country to be effective in business. In Toronto, the police who were involved in bribery were arrested and suspended from the police force and while the sums were much larger the principle is the same.
Monday, about mid-day, I suddenly became extremely tired and stuffy and feeling unwell. I slept two hours but awakened feeling sicker than when I started the nap. Arnold fixed me some soup that was delicious and I asked him to go out and get some soda and beer for us to have cold drinks. He fixed me coffee, which was also appreciated. I was coughing, sneezing, and feeling quite miserable. We watched The Greatest Story Ever Told and then watched some TV in tagalog which I was able to follow mostly or which Arnold was able to fill me in on when I could not follow.
The rest of the week was routine. We went out several evenings –we saw two movies and we went to Gigolos and Red Banana. My cold lingered but after Monday it was more a cough than anything else. I am adjusting to sleeping later and going to bed later. The movies here cost 100 pesos at most, which is less then $2.20 Canadian and we can buy VCDs for 75 pesos. Thus even when we do not go out, we can see a wonderful movie at the apartment at less than half the price of going out to the movie theatre. I also have come to realize that the Filipino movie stars are revered here. Estrada who was their previous President and Poe who ran last May for President were both movie stars and are held in extremely high regard.
My biggest concern this week was the money. I had budgeted for the trip and even though things seem cheap here, some unexpected expenses have interfered with the budgeting. It really worried me on Friday but when I get past worrying about it, I begin to realize the fears are not always well-based.
On Friday as well, my lawyer sent me a separation agreement that I downloaded onto my memory stick and read at the apartment. I have some questions about it since it seemed to forget some of the things in our offer to settle. I will be sending my comments back to my lawyer and see what happens.
Best wishes from Manila for another week.
posted by DJ @ 12:01 PM 0 comments
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Week One: January 1 to January 7
The plane from Hong Kong arrived about an hour late. Arnold G Torrecer was there waiting for me. Despite the late plane, I was still with Arnold by New Years Eve midnight back home even though it was a sunny mid-day here. Beggars wanting money and actually asking for specific amounts pestered us at the airport which made the airport experience less than happy. The cab back to the hotel was also very expensive. Arnold had gotten to the airport at 9 pesos but they charged us 1000 pesos. Nothing we could do about it.
Actually, I found the trip harder than last April. The flight from Toronto to Hong Kong seemed extra long. It was crowded – I do not think there was an empty seat. The toilets were cleaned regularly but still tended to be a mess and occupied all the time. I slept about 8 hours in small little episodes. Cathay Pacific is excellent – why can’t other airlines be as good?
On the second day, we made the journey to Malibay where the apartment is. I was shocked at my first impression. It was not at all as I had imagined it. Arnold though had done a great job of cleaning it up and organizing it. It is tiny, very secure, and very elementary. The bed is a very comfortable mattress on the floor – takes up wall to wall with room at the foot of the bed. The comfort room is wet. The toilet is flushed by using a scoop. The shower uses the same scoop to pour water over oneself. The kitchen looks well stocked and I like Arnold’s taste in the few decorations there are.
To try to describe the apartment is almost impossible. One enters a walkway from F Cruz and at the back on the left is a gate, which is kept, locked. One walks through a patio area between apartments, which face each other. At the back is a set of steps which goes up between two buildings – the steps are narrow – so narrow it is difficult to get a suitcase up them. As you come to the third level, you turn right and there is another gate to a balcony, which fronts three apartments. Ours is right in front of the gate. Across in the other building is an apartment identical only reverse to ours, which is occupied by four young gay men.
As I look out our front door – to the right is a space between the two buildings. I can see skyline and trees looking in both directions. If you look in from the front door you are looking through our living room, dining area to the kitchen along the back wall. I would guess it is at most 6 feet wide and 15 to 18 feet long. Off to the right (if looking from the front door are two doors – one to the bedroom and one to the comfort room. The Comfort Room must be 6 feet x 6 feet and the bedroom would then be 9 to 12 feet x 6 feet. The bed just fits between the two walls with room at the base to put some things down.
Arnold took me in a taxi to a mall where they have nothing but stall after stall of cell phones. We found a slightly used Noikia for me, which I am using. Nothing fancy. I have to load the SIM card regularly with money but it seems to work. The number is 011-63-919-300-4874.
Tuesday was moving day from the hotel to the apartment. After noting what needs we had, we set out for the Internet Café again and this time we also bought a refrigerator for the apartment and got a ride back to the apartment with the delivery people. It is just a small apartment sized fridge but it assists us with having cold water/soda/juice and keeping some e-coli from getting into our food.
On Tuesday night I also met some of the neighbours for the first time. After dinner – which we had rather late, we invited the fellows across the way over for beer but only two came – one who lives there, Ver and his boyfriend, Lance. Lance was staying over so there were five staying in that space overnight. I can not fathom what it must be like. Lance and Ver stayed until after 1:30 a.m.
On both Wednesday and Thursday mornings I had Capella teleconference calls. On both I got cut off before it was done but the Thursday conference was far more successful than Wednesday as it was almost completed. We explored various evening bars – going to two near Glorietta Mall one night and to Red Banana another night. The days were spent at the internet café (it seems I have a great deal more work to keep in touch with than I expected), shopping for groceries, etc.
On Thursday night got back to the apartment at about 12:30 and Arnold decided he wanted some soda so he left me and went off to buy soda. After he made his purchase, some hoodlums hit him with ice on the back of the neck (he has the mark to show for it) and that knocked him down and they ran off with his cell phone. He ran after them and I was really worried as he took a long time getting back to the apartment. He did not catch the criminals and came back to the apartment to cry it out.
On, Friday, I had to read and evaluate four comprehensive papers for a Cappella student. That took most of my hour and a half on the computer. I had little time to engage in reading email or such.
Part of the reason for that was that I had finally gotten hold of Louie. Louie is a friend of Sid Beaudoin and I had carried three items with me to give to Louie for Sid. We were to meet at 1 p.m. at a restaurant. He came with his cousin and her boyfriend – I was surprised to have a group but he himself was extremely nice, shy, and obviously nervous. I gave him the things, took a few pictures, and then his cousin and her boyfriend suggested leaving Louie with us while they went to do some things. Louie was not really up to that but he and Arnold talked in Tagalog quite fluently about visiting his home city perhaps as soon as next week. We then messaged each other confirming that we would like to get together again.
After lunch Arnold and I went to Greenhills Mall and Megamall. We picked up a second-hand cell for Arnold 011-63-921-482-5964, which is an alternate for me, so ought to be recorded. We also went to see Ocean’s Twelve. I had seen it in Toronto but Arnold really wanted to see it. I was surprised at how much I got out of it the second time. It was like a whole new movie. The theatre was full for a late afternoon movie.
I am getting used to having a partial shower frequently – some days three or four times when one steps into the comfort room, it is easy to throw some water on oneself and soap up and dry oneself off. It actually is refreshing and ensures cleanliness. It is particularly so since if one goes into the bathroom at all there is already water on the floor always (cement under linoleum). Thus if one goes in there one disrobes at least partially before doing so.
Also, I failed to mention that after one has scooped the water into the toilet, one sprinkles disinfectant into the toilet. It is actually much cleaner than it sounds to us with our experience of fancy washrooms.
It has been a wonderful week. Hard to believe it is one week since I boarded the plane in Toronto. The send-off by Alexander Ingliswas moving. The meeting with Meghal Pandya was also very moving and very comforting. Ernest Brown had been more than kind, sending me off with a can of Chicken and Rice soup as my charm – I laughed and laughed at that.
The transformation from winter to Hong Kong where the temperature was the lowest the pilot had ever landed in Hong Kong at (6 degrees) to the temperature in Manila at 30 degrees as we were landing was a pleasant change.
It is with some feelings of anxiety that I got off the plane and waited for my luggage. I could not remember where the outside area to meet up was. A guard phoned Arnold and we found out where to meet. I was so happy to see him although we were inundated by employees pestering us for money. It seemed we could not even greet each other.
That impression of arrival at the airport is one that will not leave me. It bodes poorly for tourism in the Philippines. No tourist wants to be treated as a handout. I am all for helping the poor and there is more poverty here than in other countries I have visited BUT there is a way to help these people.
Another impression that has been very strong so far has been the one which I have had that I am greeted and treated with respect when the Filipino is NOT. I do not like that. I am not special. For example, while we waited for the refrigerator deliveryman to arrive at the store to take the fridge and us to our apartment, the supervisor brought a stool for me to sit on. I am not an invalid. I am honoured that they seem to like my business but I am affronted by the open discrimination.
When we enter a mall, I am checked much less than the Filipino. Indeed, the laxity with which I am checked is alarming and compared to last year makes me wonder what is going on. They always say “Good Morning Sir” to me but say nothing to Arnold.
A further impression which I have some feelings about is that which comes from the traffic. It is very scary. For some reason, I do not remember the traffic being so pushy and so tight as it is here this year. There are few lanes painted on the streets and even if there were it would be my guess that nobody would follow them anyway.
The more I move about in taxi, the more I find a distaste for it. Mind you the taxi makes sense economically. The ride to Glorietta Mall is at least the distance of six miles and it costs about a dollar depending on traffic. The Jeepney is cheaper but no Jeepney goes into the Mall area itself. Also, on Jeepneys one can get robbed much easier. The MRT (Metro) involves a Jeepney ride to get to the nearest station.
I have never found being a passenger thrilling. I always was a nervous rider. I try to anticipate moves as a driver and feel quite comfortable driving. It is an odd day when I feel good about someone else’s driving whether it is in my car or someone else’s. I guess that is what is really coming out in me.
My feelings about the apartment are quite positive. I like it. It is tiny but I will remember it forever. It is attached to Arnold and quite frankly, I like him and so I feel it is good. I do not like cockroaches but spraying daily seems to keep them dead – they show up dead sometimes and I have only seen two in the week.
I have some difficulty with the younger generation liking more action/violent movies. My most vivid memory of growing up was how I hated the Second World War movies and the Cowboy and Indian movies that were the Saturday matinee fare at the movie theatre near Pilette Road. Why I went to see them, I will never know but it turned me off war and violence forever. Perhaps I was already able to see life not as a macho man who needed to fight in order to prove manhood.
The first movie was quite a good one despite the violence as good (God) defeated bad (Satan) but there were violent things that really were unnecessary. As I write this, I am watching another one that has no violence in the first half and I hope none at all.
The prices are weird. I feel as if I am going through money like it is water. Yet, when I look at how little it costs, I think about what it would have cost back home. I get so mixed up about money – I want to put the brakes on spending but then I do not want to do without either.
It is difficult to think in terms of pesos (46 to the dollar). The fridge cost less than many cell phones around here, yet I think of the fridge as a huge investment. I am not sure sometimes whether my thinking about NOT buying comes from the fact the price is in the thousands of pesos or whether it is my own inhibitions about spending money period.
Another impression that I have been carrying with me is how helpless I feel when on my own. It is funny with Arnold being so much younger but I depend on him. I am still not comfortable walking around the apartment area and do not have keys yet so can’t go places until I do have keys. Mostly, I am OK when left at the apartment. When I text Arnold at the mall (a very confusing mall which is really 5 malls attached to each other) and do not hear back, I worry as I have no ability to find my way around or back to the apartment. I now know how to direct a cab driver here – Malibay (via Edsa Rd), Rodriquez Road before the 7/11, and then left on F. Cruz. I even have some sense now as to how far along F Cruz before we get out of the cab although the gate in the wall is practically no different than others.
Text messages are one peso each and can be used to find each other easily. No wonder this is a country of cell phones. Pretty well everyone has one and they are the most common item to be stolen. We just would not be able to survive without a cell phone each.
